Since we all know that tormenting @Zyphora with puns is the best part of Lusternia, I give you Zitto's masterpiece for Zyphie's, and your, viewing pleasure.
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "A guy was working at a pizza parlor on Halloween when he got a call. The caller, who had a thick Eastern European accent, wanted order a pizza. "Bleh, bleh! I vant halv pepperoni, halv ham. Do not make me vait!""
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "The pizza parlor employee dutifully recorded the order and the address, and the kitchen soon had the pizza ready for him to deliver. He was following his GPS to the address, and it was taking him pretty far out of town."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "He had left the main part of town and was actually pretty far into the country, in a wooded area. It was late at night, and the roads were unlit, so it got pretty dark. There were no trick-or-treaters, or really anybody at all, out and about that far out of town."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "Finally, he came to the address indicated by his GPS, so he parked, got the pizza, and got out of his car to make his way to the front door."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "First he came upon an old, elaborate wrought iron gate. To his surprise, the gate opened for him when he got close. It was a little spooky, but he chalked it up to electronics or some kind of remote control and kept walking to the house."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "He noticed that nobody seemed to be taking care of the grounds or even the house. The whole place looked dilapidated, maybe even abandoned. He started to think that maybe it was some Halloween prank, but he decided he needed to at least try to deliver the pizza before going back to the shop. At last, having made it to the front door, he knocked loudly but there was no answer."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "Having already driven so far, he wanted to be absolutely sure before he turned around, so he knocked again, even louder than before. This time, the door creaked open, seemingly all on its own. Nervously, he made his way into the house to see if perhaps the customer was in another room."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "The foyer was poorly lit, but he was able to see a number of doors and hallways branching from it before he saw something striking at the top of the central staircase."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "He looked up just a bolt of lightning outside illuminated the room through the windows and there he saw a coffin floating nearly a foot off the ground!"
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "Shocked by this sight, he turned to run but the door slammed shut just before he made his way out. Turning back, he saw the floating coffin slowly descending the staircase as it moved towards him."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "Panicking, he tossed the pizza at the coffin but it neither slowed nor damaged his pursuer so he fled down one of the hallways."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "Making his way into a large kitchen, he saw the coffin still slowly floating after him and so he desperately began flinging everything he could at the coffin. Pots and pans bounced off, foodstuffs splattered to no effect, and even the kitchen knives and a cleaver failed to halt the looming coffin, seeming to dissolve into it rather than cause it any harm."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "The coffin nearly upon him, he fled through another door into a living room. Furiously, he set to blocking the door with the furniture. Stools, chairs, even a table were rapidly pushed and thrown into place to slow the coffin but when it came upon the closed door it pushed it all aside as easily as a man might disperse a spiderweb."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "Fleeing the scene of crushed splinters and impending doom, the delivery man tried another door, though to his horror he realized he had stumbled into a bathroom with no other door or even a window through which he might escape."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "The coffin nearly upon him, he desperately threw everything that came to hand. Soap, toilet paper and hand towels did nothing."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "The lid of the toilet served him no better as a projectile. Even the bathroom mirror was chucked effortless at the approaching coffin. In sheer mad desperation, the began lobbing the contents of the medicine cabinet at the coffin which was now mere feet away."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "The aspirin availed him not. The vitamins failed to fortify his position. With nothing else to use, he throw a bottle of robitussin at his pursuer and the coffin stopped."
Any sufficiently advanced pun is indistinguishable from comedy.
Since we all know that tormenting @Zyphora with puns is the best part of Lusternia, I give you Zitto's masterpiece for Zyphie's, and your, viewing pleasure.
This pun caused me physical pain.
Are we entirely sure that Zitto isn't directly related to Portius/Phoebus?
Everiine said: The reason population is low isn't because there are too many orgs. It's because so many facets of the game are outright broken and protected by those who benefit from it being that way. An overabundance of gimmicks (including game-breaking ones), artifacts that destroy any concept of balance, blatant pay-to-win features, and an obsession with convenience that makes few things actually worthwhile all contribute to the game's sad decline.
Len has Trout? He's kind of immune to the racism of water, there, for free, even. So I'm really not sure what that "racism" is, if his Totems really were up.
Mayor Steingrim, the Grand Schema says to you, "Well, as I recall you kinda leave a mark whereever you go."
Everiine said: The reason population is low isn't because there are too many orgs. It's because so many facets of the game are outright broken and protected by those who benefit from it being that way. An overabundance of gimmicks (including game-breaking ones), artifacts that destroy any concept of balance, blatant pay-to-win features, and an obsession with convenience that makes few things actually worthwhile all contribute to the game's sad decline.
First, some backstory: Beneath Magnagora is an 'old' sector of the city, back during the Time of Weakness (pre-taint) which was basically buried and built atop of. It is now used as the location of the collegium and the streets below are also known to harbor 'unwanted' citizens that either didnt conform or are heavily mutated and thus a disgrace to the refinement that is Viscanti. Thus, we begin our tale..
Atropos Plaza. A sense of frigidness is made physical as an icy blue haze extends into the area from a shield shrine of Raezon nearby. A few light wisps of cloud are spread high in the sky. A battered old signpost stands here. A breathtaking white marble statue of the god Morgfyre, the Legion, towers upon a high pedestal. A shuttered glass gas lamp lies dark and unlit atop a tall, ornately gilded post. A statue of Lavinya stands here, memorialising her noble spirit. A deformed slum-dweller wallows in the dirt, muttering and moaning at passers-by. (What is this doing up here?) You see exits leading north, east, south, southwest, west, northwest, and down.
probe dweller Exceeding any limit tolerated by viscanti society, this man's deformities relegate him to a miserable life confined in the Undercity. Horns as black and rugged as a ram's twist upon his bulging forehead. Yellow fangs stick out from his shapeless mouth, dragging upon the lower lip. One arm hangs enervated from his shoulder, while one leg is club-like and useless. The mould-like rot common among the unkempt undead blights his skin, giving off a gross smell. Deterioration has eaten at his mind as well: a merciful madness glazes his eyes as he gibbers and mutters where he sits in the dirt. A deformed slum-dweller looks relatively helpless. He weighs about 251 pounds. You cannot see what a deformed slum-dweller is holding.
You peer at a deformed slum-dweller unscrupulously. A deformed slum-dweller sweats profusely and wrings his hands nervously.
You tell Ur'Marshal Marcella n'Lochli, Loremaster of the Tower, "Heh, how humorous, one of the slum- dwellers from beneath the city made it out to the surface."
You peer at a deformed slum-dweller unscrupulously. A deformed slum-dweller coughs softly.
You say to a deformed slum-dweller, "You're not suppose to be up here."
You say to a deformed slum-dweller, "Return to the undercity."
Marcella tells you, "I guess so."
Marcella tells you, "Upstarts."
The odious scent fades as a deformed slum-dweller limps off to the north.
n Magnagora City Bank. Expertly counting stacks of gold sovereigns, Mistress Yoshimi flashes you a practiced smile. A deformed slum-dweller wallows in the dirt, muttering and moaning at passers-by. You see a single exit leading south.
You peer at a deformed slum-dweller unscrupulously. A deformed slum-dweller sweats profusely and wrings his hands nervously.
You tell Ur'Marshal Marcella n'Lochli, Loremaster of the Tower, "Hmph, they should know better."
You say to a deformed slum-dweller, "Remove your hideous self from sight."
You viciously smack a deformed slum-dweller about the chops. A deformed slum-dweller coughs softly.
A deformed slum-dweller grumbles angrily at you.
You say to a deformed slum-dweller, "The Engine does not wish to see your hideous visage."
A deformed slum-dweller says, "I just want a few of my gold pieces from the bank, m'lord."
The odious scent fades as a deformed slum-dweller limps off to the south. s Atropos Plaza. A sense of frigidness is made physical as an icy blue haze extends into the area from a shield shrine of Raezon nearby. It is warm and quite pleasant. A battered old signpost stands here. A breathtaking white marble statue of the god Morgfyre, the Legion, towers upon a high pedestal. A shuttered glass gas lamp lies dark and unlit atop a tall, ornately gilded post. A statue of Lavinya stands here, memorialising her noble spirit. A deformed slum-dweller wallows in the dirt, muttering and moaning at passers-by. You see exits leading north, east, south, southwest, west, northwest, and down.
You say to a deformed slum-dweller, "I doubt you even have a gold to your name. Now begone with you least you taste my wrath!"
A deformed slum-dweller grumbles angrily.
The odious scent fades as a deformed slum-dweller limps off to the down. (that's right, run bish)
You nod your head emphatically.
"Hmph!" you snort.
Dragging one twisted leg behind him, a deformed slum-dweller limps in from the down. (or not..)
You peer about yourself unscrupulously.
A deformed slum-dweller says, "I'll be back when you're not around, m'lord..." (Did he just threaten...)
The odious scent fades as a deformed slum-dweller limps off to the down.
A squat looking, vaguely humanoid creature, the morrible is completely bald and made of soft, malleable flesh. Its gangly arms and scrawny hands wave about violently in the air, loose skin hanging off the limbs with the consistency of raw dough. Its face is almost entirely featureless, looking like the work of a child artist - two, pinprick eyes that look like little more than black dots set against a smooth, socketless head, its mouth a few inches lower and nothing more than a small black line, lending it the appearance of some sick drawing come to life. Its fingers, each many times longer than would seem normal, end not in the rounded nubs of normal digits, but instead in open, sucker-like organs, the orifice at the centre of them opening and closing compulsively.
Crumkane, Lord of Epicurean Delights says, "WAS IT INDEED ON FIRE, ERITHEYL."
-
With a deep reverb, Contemptible Sutekh says, "CEASE YOUR INFERNAL ENERGY, ERITHEYL."
Shuyin tells you, "I stay up too late, got nothing in my brain. That's what people say. I go on too many dates, but I can't make them stay. At least that's what people say. But I keep cruising, can't stop, won't stop moving. It's like I got this music, in my mind, saying it's gonna be alright. Cause the players gonna play, play, play, and the haters gonna hate, hate, hate. Baby I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake it off. Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, and the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake. Baby I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake. Shake it off, Shake it off!"
The body of Aiyana Mak'Reya, the Phoenix of Ivory appears in a flash and her soul descends to fill it, causing the previously expressionless face to fill with emotion.
Unable to withstand the malevolent emanations of jaamil, Jaamil collapses in death. Jaamil drops the corpse of a cadaverous gentleman. Jaamil drops the corpse of a cadaverous gentleman. Jaamil drops the corpse of a cadaverous gentleman. Jaamil drops a sprig of marjoram. Jaamil drops a sparkleberry. The Eternal Ouroboros pulses with divine energy as the True Sermon of the Cult of the Transmuting Artificer permeates in the air. The malevolent emanations of the Transmuting Artificer permeate the air about you, His curses raining down upon His enemies.
Awkward
2014/04/19 01:38:01 - Leolamins drained 2000000 power to raise Silvanus as a Vernal Ascendant.
2014/07/23 05:01:29 - Silvanus drained 2000000 power to raise Munsia as a Vernal Ascendant.
2015/05/24 06:03:07 - Silvanus drained 2000000 power to raise Arimisia as a Vernal Ascendant.
2015/05/24 06:03:58 - Silvanus drained 2000000 power to raise Lavinya as a Vernal Ascendant.
You tell Crimson Mystagogue Delphas n'Kylbar, Prophet of the Dark Fates, "Who the Nil is choka anywya??"
who delph You sense the following people: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Delphas - Animal Pen -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Delphas tells you, "Near the store on the west side, off the main path." 5154h, 6680m, 5518e, 10p, 21900en, 32400w BesSilrxkdb-(+30m, 0.4%)
Animal Pen (3772) in the Village of Acknor. > Show path 1 rooms found.
You tell Crimson Mystagogue Delphas n'Kylbar, Prophet of the Dark Fates, "....oh Delphas...sweet Delphas."
You tell Crimson Mystagogue Delphas n'Kylbar, Prophet of the Dark Fates, "Acknor isnt revolting."
You tell Crimson Mystagogue Delphas n'Kylbar, Prophet of the Dark Fates, "It's angkrag."
He was standing there for at least 10 minutes confused why Campaign wont work.
Comments
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "A guy was working at a pizza parlor on
Halloween when he got a call. The caller, who had a thick Eastern European accent, wanted order a
pizza. "Bleh, bleh! I vant halv pepperoni, halv ham. Do not make me vait!""
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "The pizza parlor employee dutifully recorded
the order and the address, and the kitchen soon had the pizza ready for him to deliver. He was
following his GPS to the address, and it was taking him pretty far out of town."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "He had left the main part of town and was
actually pretty far into the country, in a wooded area. It was late at night, and the roads were
unlit, so it got pretty dark. There were no trick-or-treaters, or really anybody at all, out and
about that far out of town."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "Finally, he came to the address indicated by
his GPS, so he parked, got the pizza, and got out of his car to make his way to the front door."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "First he came upon an old, elaborate wrought
iron gate. To his surprise, the gate opened for him when he got close. It was a little spooky, but
he chalked it up to electronics or some kind of remote control and kept walking to the house."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "He noticed that nobody seemed to be taking
care of the grounds or even the house. The whole place looked dilapidated, maybe even abandoned. He
started to think that maybe it was some Halloween prank, but he decided he needed to at least try to
deliver the pizza before going back to the shop. At last, having made it to the front door, he
knocked loudly but there was no answer."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "Having already driven so far, he wanted to be
absolutely sure before he turned around, so he knocked again, even louder than before. This time,
the door creaked open, seemingly all on its own. Nervously, he made his way into the house to see if
perhaps the customer was in another room."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "The foyer was poorly lit, but he was able to
see a number of doors and hallways branching from it before he saw something striking at the top of
the central staircase."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "He looked up just a bolt of lightning outside
illuminated the room through the windows and there he saw a coffin floating nearly a foot off the
ground!"
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "Shocked by this sight, he turned to run but
the door slammed shut just before he made his way out. Turning back, he saw the floating coffin
slowly descending the staircase as it moved towards him."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "Panicking, he tossed the pizza at the coffin
but it neither slowed nor damaged his pursuer so he fled down one of the hallways."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "Making his way into a large kitchen, he saw
the coffin still slowly floating after him and so he desperately began flinging everything he could
at the coffin. Pots and pans bounced off, foodstuffs splattered to no effect, and even the kitchen
knives and a cleaver failed to halt the looming coffin, seeming to dissolve into it rather than
cause it any harm."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "The coffin nearly upon him, he fled through
another door into a living room. Furiously, he set to blocking the door with the furniture. Stools,
chairs, even a table were rapidly pushed and thrown into place to slow the coffin but when it came
upon the closed door it pushed it all aside as easily as a man might disperse a spiderweb."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "Fleeing the scene of crushed splinters and
impending doom, the delivery man tried another door, though to his horror he realized he had
stumbled into a bathroom with no other door or even a window through which he might escape."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "The coffin nearly upon him, he desperately
threw everything that came to hand. Soap, toilet paper and hand towels did nothing."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "The lid of the toilet served him no better as
a projectile. Even the bathroom mirror was chucked effortless at the approaching coffin. In sheer
mad desperation, the began lobbing the contents of the medicine cabinet at the coffin which was now
mere feet away."
(Ad-Hoc): Zitto (from the Prime Material Plane) says, "The aspirin availed him not. The vitamins
failed to fortify his position. With nothing else to use, he throw a bottle of robitussin at his
pursuer and the coffin stopped."
Ixion tells you, "// I don't think anyone else had a clue, amazing form."
-----
Drakius you cray cray.
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
Atropos Plaza.
A sense of frigidness is made physical as an icy blue haze extends into the area from a shield
shrine of Raezon nearby. A few light wisps of cloud are spread high in the sky. A battered old
signpost stands here. A breathtaking white marble statue of the god Morgfyre, the Legion, towers
upon a high pedestal. A shuttered glass gas lamp lies dark and unlit atop a tall, ornately gilded
post. A statue of Lavinya stands here, memorialising her noble spirit. A deformed slum-dweller
wallows in the dirt, muttering and moaning at passers-by. (What is this doing up here?)
You see exits leading north, east, south, southwest, west, northwest, and down.
probe dweller
Exceeding any limit tolerated by viscanti society, this man's deformities relegate him to a
miserable life confined in the Undercity. Horns as black and rugged as a ram's twist upon his
bulging forehead. Yellow fangs stick out from his shapeless mouth, dragging upon the lower lip. One
arm hangs enervated from his shoulder, while one leg is club-like and useless. The mould-like rot
common among the unkempt undead blights his skin, giving off a gross smell. Deterioration has eaten
at his mind as well: a merciful madness glazes his eyes as he gibbers and mutters where he sits in
the dirt.
A deformed slum-dweller looks relatively helpless.
He weighs about 251 pounds.
You cannot see what a deformed slum-dweller is holding.
You peer at a deformed slum-dweller unscrupulously.
A deformed slum-dweller sweats profusely and wrings his hands nervously.
You tell Ur'Marshal Marcella n'Lochli, Loremaster of the Tower, "Heh, how humorous, one of the slum-
dwellers from beneath the city made it out to the surface."
You peer at a deformed slum-dweller unscrupulously.
A deformed slum-dweller coughs softly.
You say to a deformed slum-dweller, "You're not suppose to be up here."
You say to a deformed slum-dweller, "Return to the undercity."
Marcella tells you, "I guess so."
Marcella tells you, "Upstarts."
The odious scent fades as a deformed slum-dweller limps off to the north.
n
Magnagora City Bank.
Expertly counting stacks of gold sovereigns, Mistress Yoshimi flashes you a practiced smile. A
deformed slum-dweller wallows in the dirt, muttering and moaning at passers-by.
You see a single exit leading south.
You peer at a deformed slum-dweller unscrupulously.
A deformed slum-dweller sweats profusely and wrings his hands nervously.
You tell Ur'Marshal Marcella n'Lochli, Loremaster of the Tower, "Hmph, they should know better."
You say to a deformed slum-dweller, "Remove your hideous self from sight."
You viciously smack a deformed slum-dweller about the chops.
A deformed slum-dweller coughs softly.
A deformed slum-dweller grumbles angrily at you.
You say to a deformed slum-dweller, "The Engine does not wish to see your hideous visage."
A deformed slum-dweller says, "I just want a few of my gold pieces from the bank, m'lord."
The odious scent fades as a deformed slum-dweller limps off to the south.
s
Atropos Plaza.
A sense of frigidness is made physical as an icy blue haze extends into the area from a shield
shrine of Raezon nearby. It is warm and quite pleasant. A battered old signpost stands here. A
breathtaking white marble statue of the god Morgfyre, the Legion, towers upon a high pedestal. A
shuttered glass gas lamp lies dark and unlit atop a tall, ornately gilded post. A statue of Lavinya
stands here, memorialising her noble spirit. A deformed slum-dweller wallows in the dirt, muttering
and moaning at passers-by.
You see exits leading north, east, south, southwest, west, northwest, and down.
You say to a deformed slum-dweller, "I doubt you even have a gold to your name. Now begone with you
least you taste my wrath!"
A deformed slum-dweller grumbles angrily.
The odious scent fades as a deformed slum-dweller limps off to the down. (that's right, run bish)
You nod your head emphatically.
"Hmph!" you snort.
Dragging one twisted leg behind him, a deformed slum-dweller limps in from the down. (or not..)
You peer about yourself unscrupulously.
A deformed slum-dweller says, "I'll be back when you're not around, m'lord..." (Did he just threaten...)
The odious scent fades as a deformed slum-dweller limps off to the down.
You peer about yourself unscrupulously.
You say, "Filthy scum..."
-
say. I go on too many dates, but I can't make them stay. At least that's what people
say. But I keep cruising, can't stop, won't stop moving. It's like I got this music,
in my mind, saying it's gonna be alright. Cause the players gonna play, play, play,
and the haters gonna hate, hate, hate. Baby I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake
it off. Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, and the fakers gonna fake, fake,
fake. Baby I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake. Shake it off, Shake it off!"
Such a romantic.
Signature!
Jaamil drops the corpse of a cadaverous gentleman.
Jaamil drops the corpse of a cadaverous gentleman.
Jaamil drops the corpse of a cadaverous gentleman.
Jaamil drops a sprig of marjoram.
Jaamil drops a sparkleberry.
The Eternal Ouroboros pulses with divine energy as the True Sermon of the Cult of the Transmuting Artificer permeates in the air.
The malevolent emanations of the Transmuting Artificer permeate the air about you, His curses raining down upon His enemies.
Awkward
Delphas tells you, "I am still at choka."
You tell Crimson Mystagogue Delphas n'Kylbar, Prophet of the Dark Fates, "Who the Nil is choka
anywya??"
who delph
You sense the following people:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Delphas - Animal Pen
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Delphas tells you, "Near the store on the west side, off the main path."
5154h, 6680m, 5518e, 10p, 21900en, 32400w BesSilrxkdb-(+30m, 0.4%)
Animal Pen (3772) in the Village of Acknor. > Show path
1 rooms found.
You tell Crimson Mystagogue Delphas n'Kylbar, Prophet of the Dark Fates, "....oh Delphas...sweet
Delphas."
You tell Crimson Mystagogue Delphas n'Kylbar, Prophet of the Dark Fates, "Acknor isnt revolting."
You tell Crimson Mystagogue Delphas n'Kylbar, Prophet of the Dark Fates, "It's angkrag."
He was standing there for at least 10 minutes confused why Campaign wont work.