You can upgrade buildings in your holdings...this took me far longer than I'm comfortable admitting to discover and the upgrades make a MASSIVE difference, especially in the early game.
It's always a good idea to personally educate your heir and backup heir. That way, you can control their growth directly and avoid a future ruler who embodies the absolute worst of humanity.
Is point 1 massive enough to be a priority over the constant bribes/feasts/hunts/etc. to keep your vassals happy? Or more like a "when you can" kind of thing? That stuff is expensive.
And does point 2 apply if your ruler already has undesirable traits themselves (esp. something like "slow")? I thought the kids picked up on all the stuff their tutor had.
Sorry I missed this!
For the early game, my view is that unless your vassals are poised to revolt or you need their support to pass a controversial law, it's going to be better to upgrade your holdings. For economic buildings, An additional 2 gold per year sounds pretty bad on the surface, but build it early enough and that's 2 gold per year over the course of a 350-750 year game. And that's just for a single upgrade in a single province. Military buildings are similarly helpful in how they increase your base number of troops. Since so much of your strength is determined by multipliers, having a higher baseline will pay dividends; It becomes far less important to keep all of your vassals happy when you know that you can unilaterally wallop them.
As far as education goes, while there is a risk of passing along poor traits, the benefit of having direct control over their growth events outweighs the downsides for me. It only took one arbitrary, gluttonous, craven of an heir to prove that...
When you (the king) come to the terrific conclusion that your son who asked for a council position means a lot to your wife (the queen) who is now petitioning you to give him a chance at being the marshal.
So after so long in CK2, I have tried to find different ways to challenge myself, and set out with a simple goal in mind: to eliminate Christianity as a Pagan Germanic. I started as Sigurdr Ring of af Munso dynasty, the father of Ragnarr Lodbrok. I didn't really document much, but there were some cheating involved as I switched between characters of my family, the af Munso dynasty.
One of Ragnarr's son set out to conquer England, when he won, I switched to his character and finished the job and formed Avalon, eventually an Empire. From there, one of my son's decided to conquer Galicia in Spain, I formed Portugal when he beat the Umayyad dynasty while it was distracted, I switched to him and conquered Leon, freeing it. When the Flykir called for a Great Holy War on Normandy and we won, I switched to them and finished the job (forming Middle Francia later). When we won a Great Holy War for Egypt, I switched to them. Conquered Italy, I switched to them. After 400 years, I have eradicated Christianity from western Europe mostly.
I have quite a lot of mods, that is why mine looks different, including some Kingdoms that shouldn't be there.
Somewhere around conquering Egypt, I had an idea. I've never played a character in India before, I didn't buy that DLC to play those religions, and I didn't want to do the historical Timurid/Mughal Empire path. So I thought... Vikings! In India!
I finally got a Great Holy War on the Indus Valley and won as the Kingdom of Ascalon, and gave the Kingdom of Sindh to my second son, Sigbjörn af Munsö, who will now set out and unite the Indian subcontinent in the name of Odin.
2014/04/19 01:38:01 - Leolamins drained 2000000 power to raise Silvanus as a Vernal Ascendant.
2014/07/23 05:01:29 - Silvanus drained 2000000 power to raise Munsia as a Vernal Ascendant.
2015/05/24 06:03:07 - Silvanus drained 2000000 power to raise Arimisia as a Vernal Ascendant.
2015/05/24 06:03:58 - Silvanus drained 2000000 power to raise Lavinya as a Vernal Ascendant.
5
SylandraJoin Queue for Mafia GamesThe Last Mafia Game
"Oh yeah, you're a naughty mayor, aren't you? Misfile that Form MA631-D. Comptroller Shevat's got a nice gemstone disc for you, but yer gonna have to beg for it."
I'll let you know I started out on the right foot. Sigurdr had 3 or 4 sons, I don't remember the exact details as they are pointless, but when it came time for inheritance, he only had one son, Ragnarr Lodbrok.
I actually really lucked out. Charlemagne lost to his brother Karloman and was imprisoned and killed early on so I didn't have to face the Karling blob.
2014/04/19 01:38:01 - Leolamins drained 2000000 power to raise Silvanus as a Vernal Ascendant.
2014/07/23 05:01:29 - Silvanus drained 2000000 power to raise Munsia as a Vernal Ascendant.
2015/05/24 06:03:07 - Silvanus drained 2000000 power to raise Arimisia as a Vernal Ascendant.
2015/05/24 06:03:58 - Silvanus drained 2000000 power to raise Lavinya as a Vernal Ascendant.
My absolutely favorite CKII soundtracks in no particular order:
Wilderness
Aftermath
Viking gods
We are that perfect storm
0
SylandraJoin Queue for Mafia GamesThe Last Mafia Game
edited March 2017
Continuing my adventures in Leon, fam. Buckle up, cuz weird stuff has happened.
So, I am now the asshole dude who murdered my King before he and the Queen of Aragon could have bbz. He's slothful and proud and I hate him but I finally forgave him enough to reopen my save file. Karma, however, is a bitch. More on that later.
He's still the heir of Navarra so I tell myself I can't hate him toomuch. And his wife is a Galician princess. It's possible at least Galicia could be subsumed into my future empire. Or at least, it was possible, but my wife had two daughters and died giving birth to the second. Womp, womp.
I look around and no one with juicy claims of child-bearing years is available so I settle for a Quick Italian noblewoman. Who pops out a son with the Quick trait, boom. Other than that, we struggle to conceive in general because I'm scholarly and have a fertility penalty for it because this game mocks the sex life of nerds.
Shortly after, my daddy the king of Navarra dies, and I inherit all his shiz. Awww yiss. But my stewardship is still terrible and people want me to give everything away. Booo.
Especially all my stupid younger half-brothers. All four of them. They super hate me and my family and my sweet duchies and counties. Jealous hos, all of them. (Even though I, too, was once a jealous ho.) I banish a few especially dumb half-siblings to the priesthood just to be safe. You can never be too safe, okay.
I decide my goal is to improve my stewardship. I do surprisingly well at this! I become Diligent, instead of Slothful! I become Just! Slowly but surely I get from having 6/5 counties to 6/6. It is an exciting moment. And my wife falls in love with me. And I think things are getting great, and hopefully I'll get a second son in the event my brothers want to start murderizing my immediate family.
Suddenly, I become very ill. Oh noes. Oh no oh noes. And my physician is like, "Bro, I can do something for you but you gotta trust me."
"Oh yeah, you're a naughty mayor, aren't you? Misfile that Form MA631-D. Comptroller Shevat's got a nice gemstone disc for you, but yer gonna have to beg for it."
"Oh yeah, you're a naughty mayor, aren't you? Misfile that Form MA631-D. Comptroller Shevat's got a nice gemstone disc for you, but yer gonna have to beg for it."
1
SylandraJoin Queue for Mafia GamesThe Last Mafia Game
For those of you playing voyeuristically, here's what a Eunuch stat looks like (It's the second one from the left): My wife's expression says everything about this situation, really.
"Oh yeah, you're a naughty mayor, aren't you? Misfile that Form MA631-D. Comptroller Shevat's got a nice gemstone disc for you, but yer gonna have to beg for it."
I've been holding off on the new expansion because Paradox and successful releases historically go together like oil and water. Is it any good? Or is Satan as overpowered as I hear?
Any sufficiently advanced pun is indistinguishable from comedy.
I've been holding off on the new expansion because Paradox and successful releases historically go together like oil and water. Is it any good? Or is Satan as overpowered as I hear?
You can definitely wreck your neighbors if you sell your soul to the devil, granted that you will not die attempting to summon Satan with your cult members. However, great power comes with a great cost. You will likely become frail and lose a good portion of your health, which means you are likely to die sooner than later. Additionally, if you bring dishonor to Satan by failing to do what he asks of you. He will drag you to hell with him no matter what.
On the hindsight, you receive quite nice bonuses to your stats which make you a master in every skill or almost if you really suck at some. People will also mysteriously fall ill around you, so carouse with your neighbors to infect them!
This reminds me of all the weird fun stuff you can do with the Ruler designer. I had this game once where i started as a chieftain in Finland. I set my culture to be Finnish but i set my religion to be an Aztec sun worshipper. When the Swedish vikings eventually tried to take over the newly formed kingdom of Finland, i beat them back and all the prisoners captured during the war were sacrificed to the Aztec gods.
That picture is funny if you think of it. Finnish pagans sacrificing Swedish vikings to Aztec gods.
CK2 just really angered me. I started with SviÞjod in the earliest start, and managed to get myself up to emperor of Scandinavia. I was about to reform the Germanic religion in preparation for going full feudal when I died.
So I lost Denmark, lost a bit of Norway, but then realize I'm at 0/33 vassals... When my new ruler took over, I became feudal without enacting the decision. So I didn't get the achievement, I had no troops or vassal levys, and... yeah. Basically a wasted achievement run.
Satan is amazing. Maybe a little stronger than he should be, because it's really easy to bankroll a kingdom off of ransom payments through the power of evil. But slowly kidnapping people in a neighbor's court, possessing/brainwashing them, ransoming them back, and using it to fuel a murder plot is hilarious.
Any sufficiently advanced pun is indistinguishable from comedy.
2
SylandraJoin Queue for Mafia GamesThe Last Mafia Game
edited March 2017
Hopped back in Leon, and ding, dong, the eunuch king is dead (too on the nose?). His quick-witted son Antonio, named for his talented uncle who was murdered, takes the helm of the kingdom to much rejoicing. He and his lustful bride quickly get to producing as many sons as possible to make up for the brothers young Antonio never had as a child.
Antonio, by the way, is a conqueror. As a Brilliant Strategist, he starts going to town raising Commanders and pressing claims left and right. Leon starts spreading across the continent and gobbles up half of Castille. Subjects love having their claims pressed, and are giddy with pride over King Antonio II's benign and expansive rule.
Cash is flowing into the kingdom and King Antonio II is getting kind of antsy. What does he want, now that he has seemingly everything? Bangin' genius trait wife? Tons of kids? Counties for days? And the answer comes to him instantly: immortality. I mean, yes, absolutely. Let's shoot for that. So we blow a ton of the royal treasury on a royal goose chase to find someone who might know a little something about immortal life. (The court is kind of bummed this is where this tax money is going, but Antonio is psyched.)
At last, after some time and money spent, some chick from the middle of nowhere comes to town and is like, "Antonio, I hear you want to live forever?" And Antonio, who is a big fan of Tuck Everlasting but would completely rewrite the ending, is like YES FOR SURE LET'S DO IT.
His eldest son, Herramel, is appalled. "You're just going to trust this foreign chick?" he asks, horrified, and Antonio whispers back, "Ever. Lasting. Life." Herramel, who wants to inherit this damn kingdom one day, begins to sulk and tells his father that he is the worst and stomps off to pout for not having a fiefdom. Boohoo, poor Herramel, wah wah, cry harder.
So Antonio is now a pagan sympathizer, to the dismay of the Catholic court. This woman asks him to do all kinds of weird things to appease foreign gods, at last asking him to sacrifice something srs. Antonio, who has more money than sense, chooses the expensive option: let's sacrifice an antelope! Sure! Blood for the blood god, and all that jazz!
This is the point in the game where I begin to believe the ghost of Antonio I is haunting my bloodline. Because instead of cutting off the antelope's head, this crazy woman lops off my hand wtffffff.
And then she runs for the hills and immortal life is not had, but now I have a sweet hook on my handless right arm and a crappy negative combat modifier. YOU WOULD THINK that alone would be an unlucky break. You would think. But Antonio just has this weakness for foreign ladies who ask him to just ~trust them~. And one day, a little old nun knocks on his door. "Can I stay for the night, please?" she asks. Antonio has three options. One, he can be like "gtfo" and lose his Charitable trait. Two, he can pay for her to stay at a nearby Inn. Or three, aw shucks, come right on in! Let's share stories by the fire and feast and toast to Catholicism and whatnot!
So I pick Option 3. We have a nice time chatting up the little old nun. She's adorable, seemingly.
UNTIL SHE OPENS THE DOOR TO MY BEDROOM AND SAYS "SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER IM HERE TO ASSASSINATE YOU ANY LAST WORDS?!?!?!?"
And Antonio, who has literally ONE HAND, and a severely limited combat ability as a result, is like, "OMG CAN WE JUST PLEASE PLAY CHESS OR SOMETHING INSTEAD???"
And the little old nun assassin is like "omfg I love chess set up the pieces pick your color." I pick white because duh, advantage, and she smirks at me like that's cute because I'm so totally going to lose, I can tell this nun is to chess what my mother is to Words With Friends. I am totally boned and I know it and she knows it and we're just stalling here.
So I try cheating. I spill wine on her fancy assassin habit and when she's occupied I mess with some of the pieces. But she's too good. She's just too damn good for me. I do everything I can but it's not enough.
"Give me your second oldest son and I'll potentially let you live," she says.
I think about Diego, poor sweet innocent Diego, who didn't ask for any of this, and certainly didn't deserve to be enslaved by an evil nun. "I refuse," I say, as if this makes me a good person. Perhaps I can win on my own merits, without pimping out my son. Perhaps I can be victorious based on goodness and justice alone!
Nah, we hit checkmate and I was dead, ya'll. That nun stabbed me dead. RIP, Antonio II.
The next morning Herramel wakes up, and his dad is mysteriously slumped dead over a checkboard. BUT WHO CARES, CUZ HERRAMEL FINALLY GOT THAT SWEET TITLE HE WANTED FOR THIRTY YEARS! AWWW YISS. Who needs to investigate an assassination when your ambitions are getting achieved?! Praise Jesus Hallelujah let the nuns come over whenever they want, okay.
Shortly after, Herramel becomes one-eyed due to an unfortunate battle accident, and his new court physician demanded a vial of his blood as her payment for passage into the court. She seemed like an intelligent and knowledgeable wise woman, so he's like, okay. Sure, why not. Have my blood. Then he gets a very bad infection. And dies.
So now I'm King Mandrike who is like 16, childless, and definitely not going to trust any old ladies ever because someone has to think about this kingdom, dammit.
Tldr: All the little old ladies are out to get me.
"Oh yeah, you're a naughty mayor, aren't you? Misfile that Form MA631-D. Comptroller Shevat's got a nice gemstone disc for you, but yer gonna have to beg for it."
Took over the entire subcontinent of India without waging a single war. Sometimes every piece falls into place perfectly when you plot and scheme.
1
SylandraJoin Queue for Mafia GamesThe Last Mafia Game
Time to necro this thread!
So this time I chose to be a duke in Byzantium, an empire I have usually avoided playing somehow. My criteria for starting out is to have a small dynasty so I can feel satisfied when it grows into the powerhouse it's destined to be.
This presented some amusing problems.
Starting out, I had a single son and the son's stats were horrible. But he and I were the only existing people in our dynasty, so I wife us both up ASAP. I can't afford to be picky when plagues are ravaging the world, you know.
Our wives get pregnant about the same time, and lo and behold, I have another son: Helias. Helias grows up to be a badass with amazing stats because he's awesome, and is due to inherit an extra nearby county because his mother is a countess. Meanwhile, my failure of a firstborn has three daughters of middling stats, and continues to disappoint me in contrast to his half-brother.
Did I mention I'm an amazing war hero? I am! The Byzantine emperor super duper loves tossing me at opposing armies in the war of the moment, and in the midst of all this, I get grievously injured and die. RIP duke with the 18 martial stat, hello guy who sucks at everything.
Now things get tricky! We had Gavelkind succession! So I only inherited one county and my duchy, while my baby brother Helias has inherited the other county of the duchy. Uh-oh. I consider switching to Agnatic succession so he can inherit if I don't have sons, but I haven't been ruling long enough to do so. Everyone hates me for having three daughters in line to the duchy, most of all my angry ten-year-old brother.
...Who can't be the one who hired an assassin against me, but I bet if he had been, he'd be very pleased about how well it went. I even tried bargaining my second daughter's life to survive, and all that happened was we both died! Womp womp. A+++ father skills.
Suddenly I am a 9 year old duchess and plague is attacking everything I love. Just as I start to become skilled at intrigue shenanigans, I die to rabies (rabies!) and am now playing my six year old sister who would rather be in the kitchen than ruling. Helias, my evil uncle, has become good at basically everything and married a fine wife of noble status. I stumble my way through an awkward adolescence with a passable, but below average, diplomacy stat and marry matrilineally a man whose father just lost his nearby duchy and joined my court.
Duchess Sophia and her husband don't initially get on, but she decides to devote herself to family and sure enough she and Appollonius move from "ew I guess you'll do" to "omg I you 5eva." They get along so well in fact that they have six children! Three girls and three boys. Efficient! Things seem to go fine until Sophia's uncle finally inherits his mother's county, putting his army above hers in terms of strength.
"Renounce your duchy!" Uncle Helias demands. Sophia raises her middle finger and a banner for war. At first it seems like Sophia will succeed. She has hired mercenaries to increase her odds. But Sophia forgot: it is winter. And in winter, it is better to be cautious than to charge at your opponent. Despite the advantage in numbers, Sophia's army is felled by the fortified defenses of Helias's forces, and with an empty treasury and pitiful levies, she is forced to concede the duchy. BUT. Not before sneakily changing the laws of succession! For you see, dear readers, Helias has no living son! No, indeed! His son died to plague! His only daughter has only daughters, as well, and his wife is too old to bear more children. Sophia vows that no woman shall rule her duchy if she cannot rule it, and in this moment before surrender, guarantees that her firstborn son will inherit the duchy she lost.
This thought comforts Sophia while she sits in her jail cell, tormented and tortured by her evil evil uncle. She awaits death, wishes for it even, when she receives a letter in prison. Her husband, Appollonius, is seeking to save her! And save her he does! Tru wuv gets Sophia out of the prison cell.
Appollonius is basically best husband ever, because not only did he save his wife, somehow he and his father also won back the duchy they lost??? Meaning that our son will not just inherit Sophia's duchy, but Appollonius's, and with it, the county that Helias inherited from his mother. Hot damn!
Tldr: everything turned out spectacularly well for my eldest son, and it really shouldn't have considering I lost a war, got imprisoned, and had a lot of characters die unexpectedly to disease. Woo!
"Oh yeah, you're a naughty mayor, aren't you? Misfile that Form MA631-D. Comptroller Shevat's got a nice gemstone disc for you, but yer gonna have to beg for it."
This story is a bit older one but amusing one nonetheless.
Gwynr de Ynys manaw who was known as "The holy" as dubbed by the people was a scholarly theologian and eventually the leader of the Dominican brotherhood. Well-liked by the church and the pope. He was granted the title of a true christian knight by the pope himself. He spent far too much money. More than he could ever gather in a single lifetime to cover the debt and yet the church wanted more even though he was -600 gold ducats deep and the Conversus had the gal to act all offended when i refused to donate 250 gold ducats into charity. His death was odd. He got the flu right after a month of leading the Dominican Brotherhood and his court physician told him to go run outside naked in the moonlight in a forest until exhaustion would stop him and he never returned. People found this holy man in the morning. He was found naked in middle of a forest clutching a rosary in his hands. No signs of struggle and a sheepish smile on his face. His death would likely remain a mystery.
Now his son Floris de Ynys manaw was a rotten man according to the church at least. He had 3 wives and 8 lovers during his entire lifetime and made far too many kids with far too many important people from all walks of life. Royalty, commoner, clergy.. None was safe from his leering gaze and seductive mannerisms! By sheer dumb luck or divine intervention he avoided numerous shady murder plots by jealous rivals. Unfortunately Floris wasn't exactly blessed with a strong physique and his death came at a rather early age of 37 due to poor health. His eldest son inherited him along with his rather massive amount of siblings from all different mothers.
4 years go by under a regency.
Floris II de Ynys manaw ascends to the throne and he intends to fix the kingdom. Repay the debt his grandfather incurred and solve the mess his father caused by his escapades with various women. He actually does a pretty good job pacifying the vassals and stabilizing the realm for once. But then one of his numerous sisters asks him to press her claim in the throne of Norway and here we go again.. A war that takes 24 years to solve and involves his kingdom along with Denmark, Sweden and Scotland. Together they dismantle the kingdom of Norway to it's most basic components which makes it a lot easier for Floris II to fight the war and eventually win it.. All hail queen Maria of Norway! My sister. Who then stays in power for 8 years before causing a revolt and losing it. So much for that. Could you have at least stood in power the rest of your life? I spend a fortune to get you up there you know. The days of Floris II end peacefully. He dies due to old age. Very anti-climatic.
His son, Gwain de Ynys manaw is the last king to ever rule over the kingdom. With a single hand he manages to piss off England royally in an attempt to shake it's foundation from inside. He fights a bloody war which ends up with everyone hating him. The kingdom in ruins and the independence of the kingdom lost. Not to mention the number of casualties that the war took. About 25k fine warriors. All hope seems lost for the Dynasty of Ynys manaw. Gwain de Ynys manaw dies in a battle defending his kingdom.
Now his son is about to take over.
1
SylandraJoin Queue for Mafia GamesThe Last Mafia Game
edited July 2017
Let me share this ridiculous saga with you. Same dynasty as before, but I became a dude who through (plague) shenanigans winds up the last male of his dynasty. In agnatic succession. Yikes. What do? I turn to whoring it up to get a son, bastard or otherwise.
My wife gets pregnant but, not understanding the gravity of the situation, gives me a daughter. Her name is Martha. Let's talk about little Martha, shall we? Because we need to talk about Martha. When Martha is born, my priest takes me aside and says she's possessed by the devil. I, myself, have the possessed trait, so I think it's rather unfair of him to say that about my infant child, and have him canned ASAP. How very dare he! But old Father Fussybritches was onto something, friends. Because Martha's a demon. To be fair, right off the bat I don't like Martha because she has the Slow trait and is therefore the worst heir I can imagine. But I quickly get over it because my wife - my actual wife! - gives birth to a son! Oh em gee! I won't get game over when I die! AND THEN THIS HAPPENS. I KID YOU NOT, MARTHA PROCEEDS TO KILL THE NEXT THREE OF HER MALE SIBLINGS AS THEY ARE BORN. A fourth survives with brain damage, making him even worse of a future ruler than Martha would be, but at least guarantees a boy will inherit. So that's... something.
It's a total slaughterhouse up in here and I can do nothing because fathers can't murderize their daughters in CK2. Since I can't be a fighter, I'm frantically trying to be the best lover I can.
Which is to say I am literally boning as many women in the court as possible in the hopes that Martha's murderous tendencies are a phase she'll grow out of in adulthood. I legitimize all my male bastards like crazy to keep the dynasty going while Martha evilly slits as many throats as she can. The whole court hates me for being an adulterous moron but I can't help it, Martha is pushing me over the edge here.
I manage to bang my way to a buffer of legitimized bastard sons by the time Martha hits adulthood. I think, hey, at least Martha wasn't going to inherit everything! Ha ha, slow Martha the crazy murderer, who would want to play her, right? SO THESE ARE MARTHA'S ADULT STATS, OK. MORAL OF THE STORY: When your evil firstborn daughter starts murdering all your infant sons, let her do it and swap to Agnatic-Cognatic succession, because the Spawn of Satan gets sweet perks, okay.
(I'm sorry I doubted your demonic methods, Martha. They were for the greater good. ;_;)
"Oh yeah, you're a naughty mayor, aren't you? Misfile that Form MA631-D. Comptroller Shevat's got a nice gemstone disc for you, but yer gonna have to beg for it."
2
Cyndarinused Flamethrower! It was super effective.
"Oh the year was 453CE, how I wish I was in Serenwilde now... aletter of marque come from the regent to the scummiest aethership I ever seen, gods damn them all...I was told we'd cruise the void for auronidion and dust, we'd fire no turrets, shed no tears.. now I'm a broken man on a Hallifax tier, the last of Saz's privateers."
Please suggest mods or obscure starts. My general preference is for lots of little countries clustered together with a couple mediums mixed in, but I'm pretty flexible. Wales is a personal favorite, but I can only do it so often.
Any sufficiently advanced pun is indistinguishable from comedy.
0
SylandraJoin Queue for Mafia GamesThe Last Mafia Game
Uhh, hm. I know there's a GoT mod that's popular. I tend to click around the map until I find a count with only one county who has a "small dynasty" difficulty level. They're all over the place. I like seeing how much I can expand that dynasty before game end.
@Ileein once said what he likes to do is at the end of every game's year, he goes to the map generated for it and clicks to be randomly assigned a new noble. And then he plays as the noble for that year, and swaps out the following year in the same manner. That would stress me out, as I play a long game style, but it could be fun if you want to vary it up a bit!
"Oh yeah, you're a naughty mayor, aren't you? Misfile that Form MA631-D. Comptroller Shevat's got a nice gemstone disc for you, but yer gonna have to beg for it."
India was a fun ride, even if it is perhaps a bit too easy.
From a Rashtrakuta start, all of the Deccan Empire is easily consumed within a generation or two. I then had a choice marriage where my Punjabi wifey lived miles and miles away, controlling her own county, so my heir ended up growing up there and becoming a fine young Punjabi, too. The rest of my conquests were rendered as highly convenient subjugations.
By the time two of the three Indian Empires were under my control, actually controlling my subjects was becoming rather onerous. Fortunately, in all matters of religion, I find the Indians vastly superior to those silly Catholics out west. It was about this point that my characters developed a delightful flexibility in their beliefs.
Since most of my empire was Hindu, whenever they were getting uppity we suddenly found Buddhism extremely appealing. We were also the most intolerant Buddhists I've ever met! Through religious title revocation, those filthy heretics soon lost their realms restructured at my will.Within a decade the various realms and subrealms, with all my new besties in command, were completely drawn out to my whims alone. As soon as the Buddhists got feisty, well, Jainism started sounding just fab.
By the time all of India was conquered, the game was so easy I didn't even care how high my threat was. I had a war against almost the entire known world at once just for fun.
Good times. Might run again.
Mayor Steingrim, the Grand Schema says to you, "Well, as I recall you kinda leave a mark whereever you go."
Comments
For the early game, my view is that unless your vassals are poised to revolt or you need their support to pass a controversial law, it's going to be better to upgrade your holdings. For economic buildings, An additional 2 gold per year sounds pretty bad on the surface, but build it early enough and that's 2 gold per year over the course of a 350-750 year game. And that's just for a single upgrade in a single province. Military buildings are similarly helpful in how they increase your base number of troops. Since so much of your strength is determined by multipliers, having a higher baseline will pay dividends; It becomes far less important to keep all of your vassals happy when you know that you can unilaterally wallop them.
As far as education goes, while there is a risk of passing along poor traits, the benefit of having direct control over their growth events outweighs the downsides for me. It only took one arbitrary, gluttonous, craven of an heir to prove that...
One of Ragnarr's son set out to conquer England, when he won, I switched to his character and finished the job and formed Avalon, eventually an Empire. From there, one of my son's decided to conquer Galicia in Spain, I formed Portugal when he beat the Umayyad dynasty while it was distracted, I switched to him and conquered Leon, freeing it. When the Flykir called for a Great Holy War on Normandy and we won, I switched to them and finished the job (forming Middle Francia later). When we won a Great Holy War for Egypt, I switched to them. Conquered Italy, I switched to them. After 400 years, I have eradicated Christianity from western Europe mostly.
I have quite a lot of mods, that is why mine looks different, including some Kingdoms that shouldn't be there.
Somewhere around conquering Egypt, I had an idea. I've never played a character in India before, I didn't buy that DLC to play those religions, and I didn't want to do the historical Timurid/Mughal Empire path. So I thought... Vikings! In India!
I finally got a Great Holy War on the Indus Valley and won as the Kingdom of Ascalon, and gave the Kingdom of Sindh to my second son, Sigbjörn af Munsö, who will now set out and unite the Indian subcontinent in the name of Odin.
I actually really lucked out. Charlemagne lost to his brother Karloman and was imprisoned and killed early on so I didn't have to face the Karling blob.
Wilderness
Aftermath
Viking gods
We are that perfect storm
So, I am now the asshole dude who murdered my King before he and the Queen of Aragon could have bbz. He's slothful and proud and I hate him but I finally forgave him enough to reopen my save file. Karma, however, is a bitch. More on that later.
He's still the heir of Navarra so I tell myself I can't hate him too much. And his wife is a Galician princess. It's possible at least Galicia could be subsumed into my future empire. Or at least, it was possible, but my wife had two daughters and died giving birth to the second. Womp, womp.
I look around and no one with juicy claims of child-bearing years is available so I settle for a Quick Italian noblewoman. Who pops out a son with the Quick trait, boom. Other than that, we struggle to conceive in general because I'm scholarly and have a fertility penalty for it because this game mocks the sex life of nerds.
Shortly after, my daddy the king of Navarra dies, and I inherit all his shiz. Awww yiss. But my stewardship is still terrible and people want me to give everything away. Booo.
Especially all my stupid younger half-brothers. All four of them. They super hate me and my family and my sweet duchies and counties. Jealous hos, all of them. (Even though I, too, was once a jealous ho.) I banish a few especially dumb half-siblings to the priesthood just to be safe. You can never be too safe, okay.
I decide my goal is to improve my stewardship. I do surprisingly well at this! I become Diligent, instead of Slothful! I become Just! Slowly but surely I get from having 6/5 counties to 6/6. It is an exciting moment. And my wife falls in love with me. And I think things are getting great, and hopefully I'll get a second son in the event my brothers want to start murderizing my immediate family.
Suddenly, I become very ill. Oh noes. Oh no oh noes. And my physician is like, "Bro, I can do something for you but you gotta trust me."
And I say, "My life is in your hands, bro."
And that's the story of how I became a eunuch.
Another Faustian bargain with the physician later, and now I'm a raging Lunatic. And so's my wife!
My wife's expression says everything about this situation, really.
You will likely become frail and lose a good portion of your health, which means you are likely to die sooner than later. Additionally, if you bring dishonor to Satan by failing to do what he asks of you. He will drag you to hell with him no matter what.
On the hindsight, you receive quite nice bonuses to your stats which make you a master in every skill or almost if you really suck at some. People will also mysteriously fall ill around you, so carouse with your neighbors to infect them!
They just conquered their third Kingdom, they landed with something like 175k troops.
I had this game once where i started as a chieftain in Finland.
I set my culture to be Finnish but i set my religion to be an Aztec sun worshipper.
When the Swedish vikings eventually tried to take over the newly formed kingdom of Finland, i beat them back and all the prisoners captured during the war were sacrificed to the Aztec gods.
That picture is funny if you think of it. Finnish pagans sacrificing Swedish vikings to Aztec gods.
So I lost Denmark, lost a bit of Norway, but then realize I'm at 0/33 vassals... When my new ruler took over, I became feudal without enacting the decision. So I didn't get the achievement, I had no troops or vassal levys, and... yeah. Basically a wasted achievement run.
Antonio, by the way, is a conqueror. As a Brilliant Strategist, he starts going to town raising Commanders and pressing claims left and right. Leon starts spreading across the continent and gobbles up half of Castille. Subjects love having their claims pressed, and are giddy with pride over King Antonio II's benign and expansive rule.
Cash is flowing into the kingdom and King Antonio II is getting kind of antsy. What does he want, now that he has seemingly everything? Bangin' genius trait wife? Tons of kids? Counties for days? And the answer comes to him instantly: immortality. I mean, yes, absolutely. Let's shoot for that. So we blow a ton of the royal treasury on a royal goose chase to find someone who might know a little something about immortal life. (The court is kind of bummed this is where this tax money is going, but Antonio is psyched.)
At last, after some time and money spent, some chick from the middle of nowhere comes to town and is like, "Antonio, I hear you want to live forever?" And Antonio, who is a big fan of Tuck Everlasting but would completely rewrite the ending, is like YES FOR SURE LET'S DO IT.
His eldest son, Herramel, is appalled. "You're just going to trust this foreign chick?" he asks, horrified, and Antonio whispers back, "Ever. Lasting. Life." Herramel, who wants to inherit this damn kingdom one day, begins to sulk and tells his father that he is the worst and stomps off to pout for not having a fiefdom. Boohoo, poor Herramel, wah wah, cry harder.
So Antonio is now a pagan sympathizer, to the dismay of the Catholic court. This woman asks him to do all kinds of weird things to appease foreign gods, at last asking him to sacrifice something srs. Antonio, who has more money than sense, chooses the expensive option: let's sacrifice an antelope! Sure! Blood for the blood god, and all that jazz!
This is the point in the game where I begin to believe the ghost of Antonio I is haunting my bloodline. Because instead of cutting off the antelope's head, this crazy woman lops off my hand wtffffff.
And then she runs for the hills and immortal life is not had, but now I have a sweet hook on my handless right arm and a crappy negative combat modifier.
YOU WOULD THINK that alone would be an unlucky break. You would think. But Antonio just has this weakness for foreign ladies who ask him to just ~trust them~. And one day, a little old nun knocks on his door. "Can I stay for the night, please?" she asks. Antonio has three options. One, he can be like "gtfo" and lose his Charitable trait. Two, he can pay for her to stay at a nearby Inn. Or three, aw shucks, come right on in! Let's share stories by the fire and feast and toast to Catholicism and whatnot!
So I pick Option 3. We have a nice time chatting up the little old nun. She's adorable, seemingly.
UNTIL SHE OPENS THE DOOR TO MY BEDROOM AND SAYS "SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER IM HERE TO ASSASSINATE YOU ANY LAST WORDS?!?!?!?"
And Antonio, who has literally ONE HAND, and a severely limited combat ability as a result, is like, "OMG CAN WE JUST PLEASE PLAY CHESS OR SOMETHING INSTEAD???"
And the little old nun assassin is like "omfg I love chess set up the pieces pick your color." I pick white because duh, advantage, and she smirks at me like that's cute because I'm so totally going to lose, I can tell this nun is to chess what my mother is to Words With Friends. I am totally boned and I know it and she knows it and we're just stalling here.
So I try cheating. I spill wine on her fancy assassin habit and when she's occupied I mess with some of the pieces. But she's too good. She's just too damn good for me. I do everything I can but it's not enough.
"Give me your second oldest son and I'll potentially let you live," she says.
I think about Diego, poor sweet innocent Diego, who didn't ask for any of this, and certainly didn't deserve to be enslaved by an evil nun. "I refuse," I say, as if this makes me a good person. Perhaps I can win on my own merits, without pimping out my son. Perhaps I can be victorious based on goodness and justice alone!
Nah, we hit checkmate and I was dead, ya'll. That nun stabbed me dead. RIP, Antonio II.
The next morning Herramel wakes up, and his dad is mysteriously slumped dead over a checkboard. BUT WHO CARES, CUZ HERRAMEL FINALLY GOT THAT SWEET TITLE HE WANTED FOR THIRTY YEARS! AWWW YISS. Who needs to investigate an assassination when your ambitions are getting achieved?! Praise Jesus Hallelujah let the nuns come over whenever they want, okay.
Shortly after, Herramel becomes one-eyed due to an unfortunate battle accident, and his new court physician demanded a vial of his blood as her payment for passage into the court. She seemed like an intelligent and knowledgeable wise woman, so he's like, okay. Sure, why not. Have my blood. Then he gets a very bad infection. And dies.
So now I'm King Mandrike who is like 16, childless, and definitely not going to trust any old ladies ever because someone has to think about this kingdom, dammit.
Tldr: All the little old ladies are out to get me.
Sometimes every piece falls into place perfectly when you plot and scheme.
So this time I chose to be a duke in Byzantium, an empire I have usually avoided playing somehow. My criteria for starting out is to have a small dynasty so I can feel satisfied when it grows into the powerhouse it's destined to be.
This presented some amusing problems.
Starting out, I had a single son and the son's stats were horrible.
Our wives get pregnant about the same time, and lo and behold, I have another son: Helias. Helias grows up to be a badass with amazing stats because he's awesome, and is due to inherit an extra nearby county because his mother is a countess. Meanwhile, my failure of a firstborn has three daughters of middling stats, and continues to disappoint me in contrast to his half-brother.
Did I mention I'm an amazing war hero? I am! The Byzantine emperor super duper loves tossing me at opposing armies in the war of the moment, and in the midst of all this, I get grievously injured and die. RIP duke with the 18 martial stat, hello guy who sucks at everything.
Now things get tricky! We had Gavelkind succession! So I only inherited one county and my duchy, while my baby brother Helias has inherited the other county of the duchy. Uh-oh. I consider switching to Agnatic succession so he can inherit if I don't have sons, but I haven't been ruling long enough to do so. Everyone hates me for having three daughters in line to the duchy, most of all my angry ten-year-old brother.
...Who can't be the one who hired an assassin against me, but I bet if he had been, he'd be very pleased about how well it went. I even tried bargaining my second daughter's life to survive, and all that happened was we both died! Womp womp. A+++ father skills.
Suddenly I am a 9 year old duchess and plague is attacking everything I love. Just as I start to become skilled at intrigue shenanigans, I die to rabies (rabies!) and am now playing my six year old sister who would rather be in the kitchen than ruling. Helias, my evil uncle, has become good at basically everything and married a fine wife of noble status. I stumble my way through an awkward adolescence with a passable, but below average, diplomacy stat and marry matrilineally a man whose father just lost his nearby duchy and joined my court.
Duchess Sophia and her husband don't initially get on, but she decides to devote herself to family and sure enough she and Appollonius move from "ew I guess you'll do" to "omg I
"Renounce your duchy!" Uncle Helias demands. Sophia raises her middle finger and a banner for war. At first it seems like Sophia will succeed. She has hired mercenaries to increase her odds. But Sophia forgot: it is winter. And in winter, it is better to be cautious than to charge at your opponent. Despite the advantage in numbers, Sophia's army is felled by the fortified defenses of Helias's forces, and with an empty treasury and pitiful levies, she is forced to concede the duchy.
BUT. Not before sneakily changing the laws of succession! For you see, dear readers, Helias has no living son! No, indeed! His son died to plague! His only daughter has only daughters, as well, and his wife is too old to bear more children. Sophia vows that no woman shall rule her duchy if she cannot rule it, and in this moment before surrender, guarantees that her firstborn son will inherit the duchy she lost.
This thought comforts Sophia while she sits in her jail cell, tormented and tortured by her evil evil uncle. She awaits death, wishes for it even, when she receives a letter in prison. Her husband, Appollonius, is seeking to save her! And save her he does! Tru wuv gets Sophia out of the prison cell.
Appollonius is basically best husband ever, because not only did he save his wife, somehow he and his father also won back the duchy they lost??? Meaning that our son will not just inherit Sophia's duchy, but Appollonius's, and with it, the county that Helias inherited from his mother. Hot damn!
Tldr: everything turned out spectacularly well for my eldest son, and it really shouldn't have considering I lost a war, got imprisoned, and had a lot of characters die unexpectedly to disease. Woo!
Gwynr de Ynys manaw who was known as "The holy" as dubbed by the people was a scholarly theologian and eventually the leader of the Dominican brotherhood. Well-liked by the church and the pope. He was granted the title of a true christian knight by the pope himself. He spent far too much money. More than he could ever gather in a single lifetime to cover the debt and yet the church wanted more even though he was -600 gold ducats deep and the Conversus had the gal to act all offended when i refused to donate 250 gold ducats into charity.
His death was odd. He got the flu right after a month of leading the Dominican Brotherhood and his court physician told him to go run outside naked in the moonlight in a forest until exhaustion would stop him and he never returned. People found this holy man in the morning. He was found naked in middle of a forest clutching a rosary in his hands. No signs of struggle and a sheepish smile on his face. His death would likely remain a mystery.
Now his son Floris de Ynys manaw was a rotten man according to the church at least. He had 3 wives and 8 lovers during his entire lifetime and made far too many kids with far too many important people from all walks of life. Royalty, commoner, clergy.. None was safe from his leering gaze and seductive mannerisms! By sheer dumb luck or divine intervention he avoided numerous shady murder plots by jealous rivals. Unfortunately Floris wasn't exactly blessed with a strong physique and his death came at a rather early age of 37 due to poor health. His eldest son inherited him along with his rather massive amount of siblings from all different mothers.
4 years go by under a regency.
Floris II de Ynys manaw ascends to the throne and he intends to fix the kingdom. Repay the debt his grandfather incurred and solve the mess his father caused by his escapades with various women. He actually does a pretty good job pacifying the vassals and stabilizing the realm for once. But then one of his numerous sisters asks him to press her claim in the throne of Norway and here we go again.. A war that takes 24 years to solve and involves his kingdom along with Denmark, Sweden and Scotland. Together they dismantle the kingdom of Norway to it's most basic components which makes it a lot easier for Floris II to fight the war and eventually win it.. All hail queen Maria of Norway! My sister. Who then stays in power for 8 years before causing a revolt and losing it. So much for that. Could you have at least stood in power the rest of your life? I spend a fortune to get you up there you know. The days of Floris II end peacefully. He dies due to old age. Very anti-climatic.
His son, Gwain de Ynys manaw is the last king to ever rule over the kingdom. With a single hand he manages to piss off England royally in an attempt to shake it's foundation from inside. He fights a bloody war which ends up with everyone hating him. The kingdom in ruins and the independence of the kingdom lost. Not to mention the number of casualties that the war took. About 25k fine warriors. All hope seems lost for the Dynasty of Ynys manaw. Gwain de Ynys manaw dies in a battle defending his kingdom.
Now his son is about to take over.
My wife gets pregnant but, not understanding the gravity of the situation, gives me a daughter. Her name is Martha. Let's talk about little Martha, shall we? Because we need to talk about Martha.
When Martha is born, my priest takes me aside and says she's possessed by the devil. I, myself, have the possessed trait, so I think it's rather unfair of him to say that about my infant child, and have him canned ASAP. How very dare he!
But old Father Fussybritches was onto something, friends. Because Martha's a demon.
To be fair, right off the bat I don't like Martha because she has the Slow trait and is therefore the worst heir I can imagine. But I quickly get over it because my wife - my actual wife! - gives birth to a son! Oh em gee! I won't get game over when I die!
AND THEN THIS HAPPENS.
I KID YOU NOT, MARTHA PROCEEDS TO KILL THE NEXT THREE OF HER MALE SIBLINGS AS THEY ARE BORN. A fourth survives with brain damage, making him even worse of a future ruler than Martha would be, but at least guarantees a boy will inherit. So that's... something.
It's a total slaughterhouse up in here and I can do nothing because fathers can't murderize their daughters in CK2. Since I can't be a fighter, I'm frantically trying to be the best lover I can.
Which is to say I am literally boning as many women in the court as possible in the hopes that Martha's murderous tendencies are a phase she'll grow out of in adulthood. I legitimize all my male bastards like crazy to keep the dynasty going while Martha evilly slits as many throats as she can. The whole court hates me for being an adulterous moron but I can't help it, Martha is pushing me over the edge here.
I manage to bang my way to a buffer of legitimized bastard sons by the time Martha hits adulthood. I think, hey, at least Martha wasn't going to inherit everything! Ha ha, slow Martha the crazy murderer, who would want to play her, right?
SO THESE ARE MARTHA'S ADULT STATS, OK.
(I'm sorry I doubted your demonic methods, Martha. They were for the greater good. ;_;)
-Kilian
@Ileein once said what he likes to do is at the end of every game's year, he goes to the map generated for it and clicks to be randomly assigned a new noble. And then he plays as the noble for that year, and swaps out the following year in the same manner. That would stress me out, as I play a long game style, but it could be fun if you want to vary it up a bit!
From a Rashtrakuta start, all of the Deccan Empire is easily consumed within a generation or two. I then had a choice marriage where my Punjabi wifey lived miles and miles away, controlling her own county, so my heir ended up growing up there and becoming a fine young Punjabi, too. The rest of my conquests were rendered as highly convenient subjugations.
By the time two of the three Indian Empires were under my control, actually controlling my subjects was becoming rather onerous. Fortunately, in all matters of religion, I find the Indians vastly superior to those silly Catholics out west. It was about this point that my characters developed a delightful flexibility in their beliefs.
Since most of my empire was Hindu, whenever they were getting uppity we suddenly found Buddhism extremely appealing. We were also the most intolerant Buddhists I've ever met! Through religious title revocation, those filthy heretics soon lost their realms restructured at my will. Within a decade the various realms and subrealms, with all my new besties in command, were completely drawn out to my whims alone. As soon as the Buddhists got feisty, well, Jainism started sounding just fab.
By the time all of India was conquered, the game was so easy I didn't even care how high my threat was. I had a war against almost the entire known world at once just for fun.
Good times. Might run again.