Farewell, Lusternia

Estarra

For those who only read the forums:

Without beating around the bush, I must tell you that I am leaving Lusternia. As I have pledged before that I would never abandon Lusternia, please know that this is not my choice and if there were any way I could stay in any capacity, I would. My great hope would be to return one day as a creative consultant to oversee lore and story, but alas for now I must drift into the Void.

This is all the more bittersweet as fifteen years ago today Lusternia first opened its doors for beta testing. I know there are a couple of you still around who remember that time! Before then, Lusternia was nothing but a dream in my head, inspired by some past creative writing and, believe it or not, a Dungeons & Dragons campaign I had played for many years. (Indeed, the name of 'Lusternia' was homage to that campaign.) I am forever grateful to have been given the opportunity to bring this dream, this vision, this mad creative project to life as a text game. I designed every class, laid out all the quests, and wrote all the stories. I still have a huge hand-drawn map which was made up of 12 pages of graph paper scotch-taped together which laid out all the seas, roads, cities, communes and beginning areas. Along with Roark (Lusternia's co-founder and first coder), we spent a year of our lives building from the foundation up.

For fifteen years, I have helmed this ship through rocky waters and smooth, through bright times and dark, through laughter and tears. My heart breaks, as a mother's would when she must leave her child. But Lusternia is not a child anymore. I raised it for a decade and a half, imbued it with my dreams and love, and trust it to continue.

So, my friends, I shall miss you more than you can possibly know. You still may see me trying to establish a presence on YouTube, and as I said, I hope a window will open in the future where I can return as a creative consultant. For now, Lusternia will be left in the very capable hands of our resident anomalies, Orael and Ianir, who are now co-producers of Lusternia.

So now Estarra enters the Void, to contemplate the myriad wefts and warps that the Fates have woven into their tapestry.

Remember Me.

Czixi

When I was a wee ephemeral, several months in and about to release my first area project, something went catastrophically wrong. Roark had had to code something especially for it, and it worked in a way we didn't expect. We found a fix, but it meant I would have to edit every single denizen, item, and part of the quest. I was in floods of tears. My event was meant to start the next day.

Estarra, who had much better things to do than fix my problems, single-handedly changed every single one. She calmed me down, and took care of it, so that I could focus on the two hundred other things I was meant to be doing on a deadline. Over the years, Estarra did things like this for me over and over again. I couldn't possibly list them all. The thing I want you to understand is this: whenever we have needed her, Estarra has been there for her Havens children. She loves us deeply, and we have always known that, no matter what.

We really are a family. We are as shocked as you, and as we go through that shock we are grieving together, a process that no one is having to do alone. We want you to know that none of you are doing that alone, either - and that the Havens family is going to make certain that the brilliance of Estarra's legacy continues to shine through.

The number of lives that Lusternia has touched and improved and even saved cannot be underestimated. None of that would have happened without Estarra. So we in the Havens family hope that you will all join us in expressing our love and gratitude to this Goddess who has transformed our lives for the better.

Zagreus

A fond and heartfelt farewell, Estarra. Through ups and downs, good times and struggles, I appreciate your efforts, creativity, and love for all of us and the game. The lore of Lusternia has been so incredible, and never ceases to amaze no matter how many read-throughs you do. 

I wish you all the best.

Never forget #IronCon2013VegasBestShitShowEver

Maylea

@Estarra - I've known you for a long time. Off and on for more than a decade. 

To me, you are Lusternia. You breathed life into it, and its stories, its people, it histories, all of it you have worked out painstakingly, and it shows. This is the only world I can truly feel like I've entered, fallen in love with, and felt like I live it.

You built a team of people around you who expanded on this shining vision of Lusternia, and you taught us how to treasure the story, and how to make beautiful even the most mundane.

I have learned so many things because of you, and not just about progging, or building, or quest design, or even story. I echo @Czixi in saying this: You showed that you cared to so many people across so many years. You stayed and worked even when so many of us left and returned. And some of us have stayed, and some of us have come back to the game, because of you.

It's going to be hard to continue doing what I can for Lusternia without you. But you have made me love Lusternia.

Thank you for Lusternia, a work across the years. You have put yourself in it, and it shows.

Gurashi

Thank you.

Shaddus

There have been a lot of times when we've butted heads. A looooooooot of times. I can't count how many times we've snarked back and forth over something that really ended up being unimportant in the grand scheme of things. 

But I want you to know that at no point have I ever wanted you to leave, or thought Lusternia would be better off without you. This is your creation, and it's my second home. I don't actually know how long I've been playing (my oldest surviving character is 377, if that helps), and  every time I've gotten fed up or tried to leave, your creation has pulled me back in. No other IRE game compares to Lusternia, even with whatever faults and mistakes some may try to find in it. Its story is a neverending tapestry of possibility, and I can't help but to think the greatest Weaver of them all is now leaving us. Lusternia would not be the roleplaying dreadnought it is now without you. Thank you.



I hope that wherever your path leads you, you remember us fondly and maybe sneak back in to secretly play alongside us if you want. 

Daem

Estarra, the world that you founded created a lot of good times for me and helped me feel accepted during a time I felt very lonely. Without the work that you did, I would not have been engrossed in the world and played non-stop for years. I also would not have met my wonderful wife. I'm really sad to see you go.

I will not forget you.

Xenthos

Okay.  Lots of people have been effusive in their praise.  I'm going to take my post in a different direction; as anyone who knows me well will be shocked to hear: I have Concerns.

Lusternia-the-game is not about the mechanics, to me.  The bulk of us don't play it for the PvP (some of us find it nice as an occasional fun diversion, but it's not the main point of the game).  We certainly don't play it for the PvE (while I personally like PvE more, if I really wanted to play a game for PvE there are thousands of other options; any mainstream MMO is far more complex than IRE MUDs in this respect).

Don't get me wrong!  Both Orael and Ianir are well-known quantities by now, and I have no doubts in their capabilities and capacity as they have steered Lusternia thus far, but neither of them have been the consistent center of lore and driving force for stability in terms of Lusternia's main selling point: the lore (to my knowledge, at least).

What is going to happen here?  Are things just going to drift?  This has always been a bit of a tug-of-war; I remember when Glomdoring went through a brief Return Of The Living Zombies because they all got nuked, Estarra wasn't aware, and things got very messy.  But she worked with us to come up with a solid Glom plot point and keep things consistent, letting the zombies go back to their well-earned rest.  I've seen any number of God blogs where the volunteers float something and she just waxed on and on about even the most minute bits of Lusternian lore.  Is that all just gone now?

Estarra and I have a... rocky / complicated history.  I found Lusternia during a very troubled period of my life.  And especially during those early years here, Estarra and I had a lot of conflict.  I've still not hesitated to tell her when I think she's making mistakes.  But one thing I've never doubted was how much she loves this game-- this play-- that she's been lead director on, and we've been the actors on the stage for.  So much of my life has been spent here, with her, and with some of you that've stuck around through these many years. 

I'm actually feeling a bit lost myself, now.

Alexandria

I am still quite shocked. I have been here since the very earliest days of open beta, as Bau and Kiarlea early on, and several others since. This was an all-caps kind of surprise to me, and I am feeling quite uncertain. However, you leave a magnificent legacy to mark over a decade and a half, and while we've definitely lost some numbers over time, there are still a lot of people truly dedicated to the story that makes up the Basin. 

I wish you well, @Estarra. While I don't know how we'll do it without you, we will, because to do otherwise would be just as unthinkable.

Chronas

Well, you don't have to look far to find the answer to that question - just look at Imperian, where not only did it also go free-to-play, but it also became co-produced by two people who are primarily coders/engineers. It's been ages since anything happened there that wasn't related to classleads.

Alexandria

Chronas said:

Well, you don't have to look far to find the answer to that question - just look at Imperian, where not only did it also go free-to-play, but it also became co-produced by two people who are primarily coders/engineers. It's been ages since anything happened there that wasn't related to classleads.

Imperian is running on a MUCH smaller volunteer staff, who have a different relationship to the players than ours does. I say this as the head of a sect on Imperian, one that has an entity attached.

Pysynne

@Estarra

I have pondered how to respond to this and still not sure if this serves.
I have been here since day 1 hour 1 in various incarnations. I have been a player, and admin, working with you from various angles. Sometimes we agreed sometimes we did not, but I have always felt that as far as the lore goes you should always be the Creative Consultant, I do hope you return as such as the story is 100% your story and without you to guide that I am not sure the shoes can be filled to do it justice.

Lavinya

It sounds like you're being forced away from your baby and that's very upsetting to hear. Of all the IRE games only Lusternia ever inspired me with its lore and story - you created a wonder and I forever judge every other game against it. For me mechanics was and always will be second to the story, and I have loved the world you built. I really hope you are able to be able to continue to nurture your creation in some form.

Chronas

Alexandria said:

Chronas said:

Well, you don't have to look far to find the answer to that question - just look at Imperian, where not only did it also go free-to-play, but it also became co-produced by two people who are primarily coders/engineers. It's been ages since anything happened there that wasn't related to classleads.

Imperian is running on a MUCH smaller volunteer staff, who have a different relationship to the players than ours does. I say this as the head of a sect on Imperian, one that has an entity attached.

Not sure which entity you're referring to. Neither Tonrar or Nimtiel have been active for at least 2 months.

And at the point when it went free-to-play and the game's original creator stepped away from full-time production, there were about 5 or 6 volunteers in addition to Dec and Eoghan. Reading between the lines in this situation, it doesn't sound like the current crop of volunteers is 100% positive about their future here, which supports Xenthos' concern that in about 6-8 months we will be sitting here with some brand-new, top-heavy conflict system that no one participates in because the world has stagnated entirely.

None of this is really relevant nor respectful of Estarra.

Orael

I'll be upfront here. Ianir and I both understand the importance and brilliance of what this world is, and the draw it has on people. I think it's 100% alright to be concerned with how things in that regard are going to move forward. I certainly have not shown my penchant for RP and brilliant story-telling and I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I'm going to pop some magical hat on and make it happen. 

Ianir on the other hand, does a fantastic job at this. It's incredibly likely that you've been involved in an event or some RP thing that directly involved Ianir that you didn't realize was him because he wasn't prancing around as Ianir. There are also endless raves and endless praise for many volunteer admin staff who do progress this world in fantastic ways. Between all of them, I have the utmost faith that this story will continue to be told in a way that continues to enthrall, envelop and attract players to our game. I wouldn't have been willing to step up into this role if I didn't have confidence that we could continue in Estarra's image moving the world of Lusternia forward. Yes, the concern is warranted, but all I ask is to remember that Estarra was one piece (a major piece no doubt) of many in this Havens family.

Isnor

Imperian currently runs on a staff of two part time volunteers. Lusternia is not in the same boat there, nor have they ever had the dearth of volunteers that Imperian has in recent years. All of that is out of scope of this thread, though, let's keep it about @Estarra and the amazing work she's done over the last decade and a half. I'm happy to discuss Imperian on the Imperian forums or Discord.

Karlach

Crawling from under my rock just to say thank you for a creation that gave me joy and escape during a really shitty period in my life, and for your personal support and encouragement a couple of times along the way.

Creating a world so deep and rich with stories, history and mystery as the one you forged is something people easily can take for granted just how difficult it is, I didn't really realise it till I started writing one for my own PnP campaigns.

I wish you nothing but good fortune and great success wherever you go from here.

Kalodan

Against probably better judgment, I’ve decided to come through and voice my disgust and frustration with this decision.

Lusternia is, at its heart, Estarra. I’ve watched for years as IRE continues to make poor choices that gut its games, all in the name of “progress” and “survival”. This decision is one more in a chain of awful decisions forced upon Lusternia, and I have no qualms expressing it: Matt, Jeremy, you’ve totally screwed the pooch, and there’s no politer way to put it. I was furious when I learned how you treated the producer of Midkemia, but I am absolutely disgusted you would treat someone who has done SO MUCH for you with such absolute disregard. Estarra has handled this with grace and aplomb, much to his credit. I make no such aspirations. This is deplorable.

That said, I will say this: I loved Lusternia, love Lusternia, and Rob. I came to this game on opening day, and until I left a few years ago to focus on my personal life, it was a constant fixture. I grew up in this game, and Rob gave me more chances than I deserved, at many points. I truly look up to him as a mentor, someone who dramatically improved the quality of my life, and the lives of those around him. I am a functional, mature human being because of him. He pushed me to aspire to be more, and to be better, and I’m going to be forever grateful for the influence he has had on my life.

Because of Rob, I made a great many friends, people who are still in my life today. One of the Terentia and I are still close friends, whose boyfriend recommended me for my current job, in software engineering. Rob was one of my references, and I do not doubt his kind words helped seal the deal.

I hope Rob one day comes back to help guide his baby once again, but I hope it’s on his terms, and not Iron Realms’. He deserves FAR better than this, and I hope you are ashamed, Matt and Jeremy. You damn well should be.

Everiine

Kalodan said:

Against probably better judgment, I’ve decided to come through and voice my disgust and frustration with this decision.

Lusternia is, at its heart, Estarra. I’ve watched for years as IRE continues to make poor choices that gut its games, all in the name of “progress” and “survival”. This decision is one more in a chain of awful decisions forced upon Lusternia, and I have no qualms expressing it: Matt, Jeremy, you’ve totally screwed the pooch, and there’s no politer way to put it. I was furious when I learned how you treated the producer of Midkemia, but I am absolutely disgusted you would treat someone who has done SO MUCH for you with such absolute disregard. Estarra has handled this with grace and aplomb, much to his credit. I make no such aspirations. This is deplorable.

That said, I will say this: I loved Lusternia, love Lusternia, and Rob. I came to this game on opening day, and until I left a few years ago to focus on my personal life, it was a constant fixture. I grew up in this game, and Rob gave me more chances than I deserved, at many points. I truly look up to him as a mentor, someone who dramatically improved the quality of my life, and the lives of those around him. I am a functional, mature human being because of him. He pushed me to aspire to be more, and to be better, and I’m going to be forever grateful for the influence he has had on my life.

Because of Rob, I made a great many friends, people who are still in my life today. One of the Terentia and I are still close friends, whose boyfriend recommended me for my current job, in software engineering. Rob was one of my references, and I do not doubt his kind words helped seal the deal.

I hope Rob one day comes back to help guide his baby once again, but I hope it’s on his terms, and not Iron Realms’. He deserves FAR better than this, and I hope you are ashamed, Matt and Jeremy. You damn well should be.

Was coming here to say the same. I disagreed with many of the blatant decisions forced on Estarra by higher-ups who wanted to turn Lusternia into just another bland, mediocre, micro-transaction-laden free-to-play casual money maker (and, admittedly, took out my frustrations on her when I shouldn't have); but Estarra, you did your best to keep the once mighty-beating heart of Lusternia--its story, its lore, its atmosphere, its draw, all those things you poured your soul into--continuing to beat despite the crap clogging its arteries. This game isn't going to be the same without you. Ianir and Orael will pick up the torch as best they can, but Lusternia just lost someone it can never replace .

Astraea

I'm sure there are plenty of us who have stopped playing (once, twice, probably a dozen times in my case) because life got too busy, too stressful, or just too darn hectic, but have continued to creep around the edges because Lusternia's story is our story, and I can't stop reading.

Thank you @Estarra. For Glomdoring. For letting me play with the Nightshades (every incestuous, dramatic bit of them). For all the inspiration, and for this game, which I came to in a very transitional, formative time in my life, and how much it helped me grow as a person, and how much, even all this time later, I'm still so interested in what happens!


 

Sylandra

It's hard enough to let go of a character you love playing; I cannot imagine letting go of an entire world you've built yourself over the years, knowing it's now in someone else's hands. I'm sorry you're experiencing this, and I have no doubt it's painful for you.

But I'd like to say that this world you've created has meant a great deal to a great many people. Lusternia has birthed so many stories and characters, sparked the creativity of both admin and players alike, and become a way for many of us to make lasting friendships outside of realms.

In many ways, the foundation you built is what allowed for this to happen. The Elder Wars are some of my favorite lore I've encountered in any game and I still get emotional when I read about the splintering of Bollikin. Lusternia has always been centered on its story - your story. Time and again, it is something that has drawn many of us back into playing.

So thank you for sharing this world of Lusternia with us. I believe it is a strong enough world to survive the changes it's about to encounter, and that Lusternia will continue to invite new interpretations, new stories, and new characters, just as it always has. @Orael @Ianir and @Aonia have big high-heeled shoes to fill, and I believe they will honor the game you've poured your heart and soul into.

@Estarra I wish you the best of luck in your next creative endeavor, and I hope you remember to be proud of what you have accomplished here.