The Brits Only Thread

Versalean

So this is a thread where British people can post whatever they like, and everybody else is 100% forbidden from posting anything at all. There will be a zero-tolerance policy for infringements, which will be summarily dealt with by means of a sternly worded and mildly apologetic passive-aggressive request to please desist from such behaviour in future if you wouldn't awfully mind, accentuated with a deep sigh and a shaking of the finger in the most egregious of cases. If, at the absolute discretion of the OP, even these draconian measures are not quite sufficient to cover the magnitude of the crime, then the response might be escalated to tsk'ing, memes of Shatner, and even withdrawal of dunking* privileges.


*Not a basketball reference. It's a reference to biscuits. What? With gravy? Why the hell would anybody serve biscuits with gravy; are you high? No, no, no, biscuits, dammit. Just google Rich Tea. Sheesh. I'm done here.

Kistan

If Scotland requests independence again, will they be removed?

Karlach

Who uses Rich Tea for dunking, they really do fall apart the moment they make contact with anything liquid.

Thayan

Kistan said:

If Scotland requests independence again, will they be removed?

If they do, and they are, will there be a shortage of shortbread biscuits?

Does anyone have any idea what is going on with our government? (Including our government?)

While I am grateful for the prevalence of digestive biscuits out in the Netherlands, why are there never any Rich Tea, let alone custard creams?

Dys

I work for the British government. I assure you that whatever they're doing is strong and stable.

Also Hobnobs are the best biscuits.

Kistan

Dys said:

Also Hobnobs are the best biscuits.

Chocolate or normal?

Dys

Chocolate. Normal are merely adequate.

Versalean

Those chocolate biscuits by McVities with a thin layer of caramel under the chocolate are the shizznit. You dunk one of those badboys and it's the finest things in life coming together. Now, I agree that rich tea are Not For Dunking, but one of my bros swears by it, but he says only he has the skill to get it just right. The margin for error is smaller than the progress on Brexit.

Rancoura

Does having British ancestry à la 2 generations back count for inclusion rights here?

(With the added bonus of living in a country where the Queen is head of state? )

Versalean

Rancoura said:

Does having British ancestry à la 2 generations back count for inclusion rights here?

(With the added bonus of living in a country where the Queen is head of state? )

Well, it's tested easily enough:

You drive through a quiet street, towards a busy junction in your car. Anticipating a long wait, you are thrilled when, the moment you approach, another road user yields to allow you to join the stream of traffic. Do you:

a) Flash your headlights in 'thanks',
b) Give a little wave of 'thanks', keeping both hands carefully on the wheel,
c) Mouth the word 'thanks',
d) Wait until you're safely ahead of them and flash your hazards in 'thanks',
e) All of the above, also waving a thank you frantically into the rearview mirror when you're safely ahead of them just in case they didn't see the first four gestures of your gratitude?

Rancoura

Versalean said:

Rancoura said:

Does having British ancestry à la 2 generations back count for inclusion rights here?

(With the added bonus of living in a country where the Queen is head of state? )

Well, it's tested easily enough:

You drive through a quiet street, towards a busy junction in your car. Anticipating a long wait, you are thrilled when, the moment you approach, another road user yields to allow you to join the stream of traffic. Do you:

a) Flash your headlights in 'thanks',
b) Give a little wave of 'thanks', keeping both hands carefully on the wheel,
c) Mouth the word 'thanks',
d) Wait until you're safely ahead of them and flash your hazards in 'thanks',
e) All of the above, also waving a thank you frantically into the rearview mirror when you're safely ahead of them just in case they didn't see the first four gestures of your gratitude?

Not a) because in my head this junction is perpendicular to mine and they probably would not see the flashing at the expense of some poor individual on the sidewalk directly ahead suddenly being blinded or wondering who is taking photos in this random suburb.

So b) but only the first part, because I am a generically-designed human and only posses two hands, resulting in the need to remove one of them from the wheel, combined with c) and d) but only if I thought they didn't see the first two actions because redundancy.

Do I win?

Versalean

Welcome home, my imperial sister

Ordassa

...Hello?

Tarkenton

Toodle pip wot wot?

Versalean

Just to be clear, when I said wave I meant the hand flash finger wiggle, with hand still on the wheel. 

Deichtine

This thread the equivilant of brexit?

Versalean

Yes. The British people demanded this thread. This thread is taking back control, and will save us 350m credits a week, which will be redirected to the National Artefact Service. 

Deichtine

I wont believe you until you put that message on the side of an aethership.

Kistan

We demand the National Artefact Service - Artefacts free at the point of use

Ordassa

Tally ho!

Tremula

I was quite upset that HELP ARTEFACTS was a thing, but you had to TELEPORT ARTIFACTS. Moot now that ashop is a thing, but since everything else was artefact friendly having to switch spelling was terribad.

Versalean

Bro, you don't know how hard that used to tilt me

Fyler

I just wanted to post this to prove you can't tell Americans what to do! #freedom

Kendra

I'm from the posh side of the British Government where we can afford more than 'Hobnobs'. We have Jaffa Cakes- HARRODS JAFFA CAKES! Thank you very much.

Jaffa cakes and gravy?

I'll make my own way out.

Versalean

Fyler said:

I just wanted to post this to prove you can't tell Americans what to do! #freedom

Danquik

*comes in and throws all your tea in the harbour*


Also, I am first Canadian born off the boat in my family, so you can't tsk me for posting!

Versalean

Fine, fine, fine.

First generation deserters will be permitted to post without tsk'ing, so long as they agree to the following declarations:

1) It is right and proper to order FAR too much food at an Indian restaurant, despite the polite counsel of the waiter,
2) Football is played with your feet. If you are allowed to use your hands, it is not football,
3) Football is, in all conceivable regards, superior to ice hockey,
4) The British PM is sexier than the Canadian PM.

Sylandra

Versalean said:

4) The British PM is sexier than the Canadian PM.

*slowly submerges back into the Atlantic Ocean*

Versalean

Sylandra said:

Versalean said:

4) The British PM is sexier than the Canadian PM.

*slowly submerges back into the Atlantic Ocean*

Ordassa

Do the picturesque villages depicted in enid blyton books still exist?

Irillia

Versalean has granted me a travel visa to post this gif representing what I am assured is 100% the prevailing British attitude toward tea (which everyone knows is the best beverage in the world):


Bonus: This seems like an appropriate and apropos T-shirt for the occasion.