Epic Rap Battles of... Minstrelry

Danquik

Thanks to @Talan @Breandryn @Rolan @Malarious @Pash @Sluelugh for this RP.

The Gullagumbah Gallery.
The intoxicating scent of poppy flowers and resinous smoke wafts through the air, cast by the presence of a healing shrine of Mysrai nearby. Throughout the location, small dancing flames flicker and spark. Affixed to the wall is a smoked glass sconce, a spray of golden bells suspended from the lowest point. A fluid crimson chaise couch has been hidden in obscurity here, awaiting someone to come ponder great mysteries upon it. A large gemstone chandelier hangs here, glittering with sweet treats. Burnt and baked by sand and heat, a terracotta couch of blossoming poppies fills the air with fragrance. A milestone of glassy obsidian rests here precariously placed on a tilted plinth of basalt. A stage of black, volcanic rock rises from the floor here. A basalt statue of a dracnari reveller is displayed near the stage, somewhat haphazardly remaining upright. A painting of surrounded by claw marks is proudly exhibited on a nearby wall. A green parakeet scratches against the ground in his search for a quick meal. Trailing fluttering motes of dreams, the evanescent form of a blithe dream phoenix lingers here, gossamer wings of ethereal light cascading behind her. Her sinuous tail curling between four fearsome legs, a grey chimaera with a smooth, feathery pelt crouches quietly within her surroundings. Breandryn is here. She wields a meat shield in her left hand and a glowing powerstone in her right. Clothed in starry robes of Void-spun brocade, a Merchant of Thelem waits here. Talan Ysav'rai is here. She wields a viola of ebon ravenwood in her left hand and a silver jeweller's hammer in her right. Sluelugh is here. He wields a skewed, cacophonous mandolin in his left hand and a burning whip of hissing flame in his right.You see a single exit leading north.

Pash arrives from the north.

With an indifferent stare, Pash slowly blinks one eye and then the other.

Sluelugh says to Talan, "I'm ok, I think."

The Scarlet Lion, Captain Rolan Vessandril, Seneschal of the Rule says to Breandryn, "Picking fights with the Minstrels now? Good call: they've got weak and spindly wrists."

The corners of Rolan's mouth turn up as he grins mischievously.

Pash rolls her spindly wrists, causing her webbed hands to flop.

Sluelugh says to Rolan, "Wrists so weak they'll make head go BOOOM, when my hands tickle strings it'll spell your doom..."

"Feelings, hard?" Breandryn softly questions. "Not in this yard - you may be a bard, but my rhymes are stars. Prepare yourself. You're about to get charred."

"Doom..." Sluelugh intones somberly.

Breandryn's mouth turns up as her face breaks into a smile.

Talan Ysav'rai says to Rolan, "Our wrists aren't weak! They're strong like our hearts, and our rhymes will come at you like so many poisoned darts!"

"Oh my," Pash murmurs softly, blinking her great eyes slowly.

Talan brandishes her fists defiantly.

Talan Ysav'rai says, "I shall count down."

"How do we start?" Breandryn questions Talan. "Has it begun? I hear no noises from your champion."

Sluelugh says to Breandryn, "Oh bringin' th' fire and bringin' the smoke but when I'm done with you, you're gonna be broke."

Talan Ysav'rai says, "Okay, I guess nevermind, they are already going."

Talan's eyes sparkle with amusement.

Pash settles to the ground in a cross-legged position, inhaling deeply. As she brings her hands up to rest open-palmed at either side, she exhales, all tension leaving her body.

Sluelugh says to Talan, "Don't worry teach that battle's already begun, because in truth she's already done."

Talan nods her head sagely.

"Broke?" Breandryn questions, a small frown furrowing her brow. "Do bards start rich, for every rap? Does each rhyme their coffers tap? Perhaps don't hire a ghost to write, and you may manage to keep pace in our fight."

With a wry grin, Sluelugh says to Breandryn, "Ghosts and ghouls belong to a Mag, this here is Gaudi where ya' rhymes does sag. Y' go up 'gainst a Minstrel y' gonna haveta learn, if'n ya wanna play music ya gonna get burned."

Wrinkling her nose, Breandryn says, "This start is slow - tear into me more. Pretend I've erred, settled the score. Give me something, anything, please? All I'm hearing is a confused wheeze....""

Pash lets out a deep-throated laugh.

Sluelugh says to Breandryn, "Wheezing? Me? Naw darlin' you ain't even in the smoke, the Dwarf over here is one hot bloke. With my stumpy little legs and big round belly, everyone can tell ya'll is just jelly."

Talan gives a trillingly melodic laugh.

Among the sparkling motes of light, a translucent figure appears in the air and then quickly solidifies as Malarious, riding Pestilence, the Wyrden Wolf, comes into view.

Breandryn tilts her head to one side, pensively consider the threats of immolation. "Me? Burn? Jealous? Who? You try quite hard, but you're still so...new." She offers a soft, gentle smile, eyebrows raising. "Oh how you yearn to spurn me, churn me, learn me right - but all you'll earn is pity for your plight. My words are stern, the crowd will turn, and we'll sing for you're... ashes in their urn."

Drunken Master Kalas Malarious, Kitten Avenger says, "Whose turn to sing and rap? Been amazing or another trap?"

Sluelugh says to Talan, "Uh oh, Teach, looks like she's done, better shut this down for she haveta run. She used the word stern, got angry brows on too but what she don't know is this is almost through. Gonna put the nail in the coffin, put the baby to bed, cuz her dises like her rhymes is pretty much dead."

Talan's eyes sparkle with amusement.

"You are all very good at this," Pash admits.

"Oh," Breandryn murmurs, eyes growing wide. "Do you want it to hurt? Do you want me to bite? If you wish, I will truly fight." She frowns a little at this, a blush on her cheeks. "Very well, let's start with your name - what is that? A sneeze in pain? Your height? Beneath me to tease, though your hair recalls a wasp drowning in cheese. Perhaps your nose, instead, little man? With one that large, is it hard to stand? I suppose your beard balances it well, though through all the mumbling it's hard to tell."

"Ouch!", Talan shrieks in pain.

Sluelugh says to Breandryn, "Don't wanna give in but that almost hurt. See, I won't stoop to y' level squirt. Pretty little wings y' got on y' back, I suppose if you like... nope got nothing."

Sluelugh creases his brow in a frown.

Talan Ysav'rai says, "Awww."

Talan Ysav'rai says to Sluelugh, "Is that defeat?"

Sluelugh says to Talan, "Going to have to admit defeat. I have failed and will throw myself from the battlements..."

Talan chuckles long and heartily.

The Scarlet Lion, Captain Rolan Vessandril, Seneschal of the Rule says to Talan, "The Minstrels are a raucous lot, who can sing and rhyme a spot, but then Breandryn came, and his efforts were somewhat lame, and shes tied your champion's tongue in a knot."

Rolan nods his head sagely at himself.

Talan Ysav'rai says, "Well done! The winners is Breandryn!"

Malarious throws his hands into the air and gives a loud, "WOO!"

Rolan gives Breandryn a wild cheer!

You say, "Well done."

"Matters not, it's not about you at all," Breandryn concludes in victory. "I'm the true belle of this ball. My words resounding, my powder rebounding, your head is pounding-" She points to her feet, softly finishing, "Bow down to me."

Sluelugh applauds Breandryn heartily.

Sluelugh says to Breandryn, "Well done."

Pash claps her hands together merrily.

Breandryn blushes, ducking her head as she contest concludes. "I'm sorry," she quietly whispers to Sluelugh.

Sluelugh utters a deep, rumbling laugh.

Sluelugh whispers to Breandryn, "Very well done."

Talan Ysav'rai says to Rolan, "Oh are we going now? You been saving that one long? If you're ready to step up, we'll sing these folks a little song."

Breandryn claps her hands together merrily.

The Scarlet Lion, Captain Rolan Vessandril, Seneschal of the Rule says, "Nope."

The Scarlet Lion, Captain Rolan Vessandril, Seneschal of the Rule says, "Nope nope nope."

Breandryn urges Rolan onwards.

Sluelugh utters a deep, rumbling laugh.


Talan gives a trillingly melodic laugh.

"You did nice, dear Breandryn," Pash offers up.

The Scarlet Lion, Captain Rolan Vessandril, Seneschal of the Rule says, "I expended all of my poetic might on that one limerick."

Eyes wide, voice earnest, Breandryn says to Rolan, "You are my Paragon. That means you have to do what I do."

Sluelugh says to Rolan, "Good call there cap, Talan's tongue does snap."

Malarious's eyes sparkle with amusement.

The Scarlet Lion, Captain Rolan Vessandril, Seneschal of the Rule says, "Which is why I am not a Minstrel-."

The Scarlet Lion, Captain Rolan Vessandril, Seneschal of the Rule says to Breandryn, "Wait what."

Mystic Pash says to Rolan, "I think she's right."

Breandryn nods firmly. "That's the rules," she insists.

Rolan stares blankly into space.

Breandryn says to Rolan, "We swore an OATH."

Drunken Master Kalas Malarious, Kitten Avenger says, "Rolan enters the fray, though he should pray, as this will be the only chance at the play."

As Rolan takes a larger than reasonable swig from Jeremiah Gryphta's Olde Tyme Healing Tonic he becomes unsteady, swaying this way and that on the spot as his cheeks flush a vivid red.

Pash nods her head agreeably at Breandryn.

Pestilence, the Wyrden Wolf says, "Mince no words, the battle is starting, for the challenging templar, the crowd is soon parting."

The Scarlet Lion, Captain Rolan Vessandril, Seneschal of the Rule says to Talan, "Well. I suppose I have to, since she's playing the Paragon card on me."

Rolan reaches over and ruffles Breandryn's hair fondly.

Breandryn gives Rolan a wild cheer!

Archmage Farlaris Mes'ard says, "Did I miss it?"

Pash applauds Rolan heartily.

Breandryn says to Farlaris, "There is an encore."

Farlaris nods his head at Breandryn.

Malarious gives Rolan a wild cheer!

Rolan stretches languidly.

Malarious puts some gold sovereigns in a fesix backpack.

Talan Ysav'rai says to Rolan, "A paragon of Brea's? Well aren't you a lucky sod. Hope you've ruminated well, illuminated demigod."

Breandryn flashes Rolan a joyous smile.

Sluelugh says, "I am rapped out."

The Scarlet Lion, Captain Rolan Vessandril, Seneschal of the Rule says to Talan, "The Grand Monger takes a shot, because she thinks my skills aren't a lot. Illuminated I may be, but all can see, that a demigod she is clearly NOT."

Eyes wide as she studies her, Breandryn says to Talan, "He has a point..."

"But I thought she was..." Pash murmurs.

Pash blinks slowly. "I'm getting my realities confused again..."

Talan Ysav'rai says, "I masquerade as mortal, you silly demi fool. I don't need to flaunt my level for you to know I'm cool."

"Ouch!", Sluelugh shrieks in pain.

Breandryn nods in agreement. "Talan IS cool," she points out to Rolan.

Pash nods her head at Breandryn, showing her acceptance.

Sluelugh chuckles long and heartily.

Talan Ysav'rai says, "But if you want to dither, well I'll point you to my rank. It's fourteenth out of everyone, you can take that to the bank."

Talan Ysav'rai says, "And really, you must know that I'm not trying to play dirty but it's pretty hard to notice you yourself are down near thirty."

Talan waggles a finger warningly at Rolan and says, "Tut tut."

Breandryn hides a grin behind her hand.

"Oh, she's strong," Pash tells Breandryn.

Breandryn nods at Pash, looking to Rolan with worry.

The Scarlet Lion, Captain Rolan Vessandril, Seneschal of the Rule says, "Perhaps you think you can hide, but that still means that you lied, If who you are is a fib, then perhaps you need a bib, because pyu."

Rolan sticks his tongue out and says 'Ack.'

The Scarlet Lion, Captain Rolan Vessandril, Seneschal of the Rule says, "Ignore that, please."

Pash aims her imaginary aethercraft turret and begins blasting away. "Pew! Pew!"

Holding her nose, Breandryn says, "Peeyu!"

Talan Ysav'rai says, "A bib? What was that? Are you calling me a baby? Baby, you should take a step back I'm a full grown lady."

The Scarlet Lion, Captain Rolan Vessandril, Seneschal of the Rule says, "Perhaps you think you can hide, but that still means that you lied, If who you are is a fib, then perhaps you need a bib, because you're too young and you just cried."

Pash rocks back in her lotus position, starting to laugh.

Breandryn hides a grin behind her hand.

Sluelugh chuckles long and heartily.

Talan Ysav'rai says, "Too young? Hun, I was old before you were even born. You think a barb or two about my age is bringing scorn?"

Talan Ysav'rai says, "I'm afraid Sluelugh already beat you to it. Had me laughing to hard he's got the gee-eff to prove it. You came here to watch a fight but now you find yourself in one. Leave the rhyming to the Minstrels, it's very clear you've never been one."

Sluelugh flexes his muscles in an impressive display of strength.

Folding her wings so she can reach them easily, Talan preens her wings happily, straightening out the disheveled feathers.

Talan Ysav'rai says to Rolan, "Are you quiet cause you're out? Or are you still just thinking? There's an awful lot of whiskey that I could be drinking..."

Sluelugh chuckles long and heartily.

You have emoted: Danquik starts a slow beat with his tail, thumping and swishing it as he glances around the room before busting out, "I was told I had to rap one of the Minstrels best. I don't think I can manage it, they seem seem under house arrrest. I see a dwarf, a trill and some lyrical skill, but not much to hope for, pretty downhill. I still need my sponsors, perhaps I should ask, a pyromancer, illuminati, or Mag's little ghast. Here is to hoping someone improves, cause my short little arms can't find the groove."

Softly, Breandryn says to Talan, "Be kind to Rolan dear. He's a bit slow between the ears."

Breandryn gives you a wild cheer!

You shuffle your feet uneasily.

The Scarlet Lion, Captain Rolan Vessandril, Seneschal of the Rule says, "Oh no and shots are fired, but that spiel is tired, a bad Minstrel I surely once was, but this fact surely awes, this 'bad' Minstrel keeping pace with YOU is inspired. If I can keep pace with you, you might just be coming unglued, I'm working very hard, and and don't often get verbal spar'd, but just maybe you bit off more than you can chew."

Talan gives a trillingly melodic laugh.

The Scarlet Lion, Captain Rolan Vessandril, Seneschal of the Rule says to Breandryn, "And I heard that, dear. I'd be a bit cross, but yeah, I am."

Talan Ysav'rai says, "Oh I see how it is. Now you guys are double-teaming, what is this a domoth, and I'm Seren in this reaming?"

The corners of Rolan's mouth turn up as he grins mischievously.

You utter a deep, rumbling laugh.

Sluelugh says, "Oooooohhhh."

Breandryn giggles happily.

With an indifferent stare, Pash slowly blinks one eye and then the other.

Talan Ysav'rai says, "I'll answer you in turn, cause that's how we're gonna play, Danquik come back when you rejoin in less than half a day."

"Oh dear. I need to rest," Pash murmurs, "But this was much fun to watch."

Sluelugh says to you, "Don't worry bout nothing us Minstrels'll teach you lizards on twos with very little reach. Gonna bring this down to a level you'll get, can you even reach down to give a dog a pet?"

Talan Ysav'rai says, "And Rolan, if your rhymes were really so great then you'd come up with them well before the hour grew late. I can spit back all month, I can go till the weave. I promise that you'll be done before me, so save us time and take your leave."

Breandryn hides a grin behind her hand.

You say to Sluelugh, "I don't need any reach to catch what I eat. It moves, I chase it, gotta be fast on your feet. A dwarf though could be a tasty treat."

Breandryn gives you a horrified gasp.

Frowning, Breandryn says to you, "I believe eating someone would be restricting their Will."

The Scarlet Lion, Captain Rolan Vessandril, Seneschal of the Rule says, "My strongest suit is not my speed, and I am not possessed by greed, though I produce many more words, per statement than yours, to your skill I will concede."

Rolan bows respectfully to Talan.

Breandryn gives up a round of applause.

Breandryn gives Rolan a peck on the cheek.

Talan hugs Rolan compassionately.

Rolan reaches over and ruffles Breandryn's hair fondly.

Rolan hugs Talan compassionately.

Proudly, Breandryn says to Rolan, "You did a very fine job, Paragon Rolan."

Talan Ysav'rai says to Rolan, "No hard feelings, I hope."

You say to Breandryn, "Depends on if they like it or not."

Talan Ysav'rai says to Rolan, "I know you got roped in."

Confused, Breandryn says to you, "Why would anyone want to be eaten?!"

The Scarlet Lion, Captain Rolan Vessandril, Seneschal of the Rule says to Talan, "No hard feelings, sure... once my BROKEN HEART HAS TIME TO HEAL!"

Rolan breaks down and sobs uncontrollably.

Rolan waggles his eyebrows comically.

The Scarlet Lion, Captain Rolan Vessandril, Seneschal of the Rule says, "Just kidding."

Sluelugh says to you, "What's that? Speak up! Couldn't hear you down here. My stubby little legs won't let you near. You move like covered in goopy snot and y' think your rhymes are great when they're clearly not."

"Awwwww!" Talan says.

The Scarlet Lion, Captain Rolan Vessandril, Seneschal of the Rule smiles and says, "No hard feelings, of course."

Talan Ysav'rai says, "What are pair are you two, stubby arms and stubby legs. Guys, I thought this was a party. Where in NIL are the kegs?"

Talan Ysav'rai says, "Oh."

Talan drops a palm sigil.

Talan drops a grinning redcap keg.

Talan Ysav'rai says, "Here."

Talan coughs softly.

Breandryn drops a dark amethyst keg.

Breandryn claps her hands together merrily.

Breandryn cheers wildly!

Breandryn hugs Talan compassionately.

Talan's mouth turns up as her face breaks into a smile.

Happily, Breandryn says to Talan, "Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are amazing, as always."

Talan's mouth turns up as her face breaks into a smile.

You say to Sluelugh, "I am sure you lost, it is no surprise. Breandyrn here has you seeing butterflies. Your lyrics are poor, your rhythm is flawed, but typical of a dwarf still you plod."

Rolan nods his head sagely at Talan.

Breandryn's mouth turns up as her face breaks into a smile.

Breandryn clasps her hands together briefly before spreading her palms, releasing a small prismatic butterfly that dances around Sluelugh in a whirlwind of chaotic, rainbow colours before quickly vanishing.

The sky becomes clouded by winged creatures as they dive downwards towards the Skarch Desert, accompanied by fierce winds and bloodcurdling screams which pierce the airwaves.

Breandryn blinks at the bloodcurdling screams and then stares down at her own hands, frowning as the butterfly dissipates. "...Wasn't me..." she mumbles, blushing.

Talan Ysav'rai says, "Nor I."

You grin mischievously at Breandryn.

The Scarlet Lion, Captain Rolan Vessandril, Seneschal of the Rule smiles impishly and says to Breandryn, "Suuuuuure you didn't."

Rolan winks conspiratorially at Breandryn.

Eyes widening, Breandryn says, "Cast a butterfly in Gaudiguch, start a war halfway around the world. Such is chaos..."

Talan Ysav'rai says, "Hm."

Talan Ysav'rai says, "I don't suppose anyone would wish to re-enact this on the stage?"

With a hopeful smile, Breandryn raises her hand high in the air.

Breandryn's mouth turns up as her face breaks into a smile.

The Scarlet Lion, Captain Rolan Vessandril, Seneschal of the Rule says to Breandryn, "Please don't make me re-enact my slowness."

Talan chuckles long and heartily.

Brightly, Breandryn says to Rolan, "You've already done all the thinking, so the slow part is over with."

You say to Talan, "I might be Dracnari, but I am utterly thorough. I'm Templar, Illuminati, I am a towering inferno. If you grant me your skills, you won't be ashamed. I might even teach your dwarf here how to up his game."

Breandryn applauds you heartily.

Sluelugh says to you, "That's a long list you got, it really sounds great but is it so long so you can compensate?"

Breandryn giggles happily.

Talan Ysav'rai says to you, "I don't know why you worried, you do fine with these games, but the thing you are forgetting is your sponsorship names. See Brea battled Sluelugh so I'm taking him as one, but you my friend have given me a big fat NONE."

Nodding slowly, Breandryn says to Sluelugh, "He does have a very very very very small...pair of arms."

Sluelugh utters a deep, rumbling laugh at Breandryn.

You say to Sluelugh, "The list is long because I like to be trained, unlike your lyrics which should probably be
restrained."

Sluelugh says to you, "It's ok little fella, you can go and cry cuz everyone will know this is where your rhymes die."

Talan Ysav'rai says, "Right."

Sluelugh gives you a thumbs up.

You say to Sluelugh, "Little fella is ballsy for one so smallsy. I think I have lint in my boot that's bigger than your toot."

Talan gives a trillingly melodic laugh.

Sluelugh utters a deep, rumbling laugh.

Happily, Breandryn says, "I love you all. I need to go, but not because I don't like you."

Breandryn waves goodbye.

Breandryn reaches out and touches a painting of surrounded by claw marks, and a deep purple glow surrounds it. Breandryn's body blurs into swirling colours, which begin to be sucked into the painting.

The corners of Rolan's mouth turn up as he grins mischievously.

Sluelugh says to you, "Could have stopped at lint, that was good."

Sluelugh applauds you heartily.

Talan gives up a round of applause.

Talan Ysav'rai says, "Well done you fellows."

Breandryn

So much fun! So many typos! I loved how we all teased poor Rolan's pyu. Gaudi!

Sluelugh

@talan is far and away the master of our white n' nerdy rap battle. I was laughing pretty much non-stop. Super fun, Gaudi, well done!