In Which Zvoltz is Charged with a Felony

Portius

I thought I was going to have to keep this secret longer. It amused me so much. Thank you, @Zvoltz, for asking ,me to fulfill one of my greatest goals. @Pejat has more that will show up at some point.


-----------

A thrill of electricity runs down your spine as a cold, male voice crackling with static echoes in your mind, "I have a business proposition for you if you will join Me in My Fulcrux, Lord Windwhisper."


Commentary: This is how you deal with non-worshippers. Bargain, not command. It's also how you make Portius look at the screen with a real confused expression for a couple seconds.




You say, "Oh? Zvoltz, I presume?"

A thrill of electricity runs down your spine as a cold, male voice crackling with static echoes in your mind, "Indeed."



Ellision: I'm so bad at finding fulcruxes.


The Fulcrux of Zvoltz.
A comforting feeling of privacy pervades the area. A wall of static runs along the entire base of the dome, crackling with contained energy. A hollow globe of transparent quartz floats above a seven-stepped dais, icy white bolts of energy arcing within the crystal.
There are no obvious exits.


Energy surges across the dome above as a distorted voice crackles, "Greetings."

You say, "Greetings. What can I do for you?"

Energy surges across the dome above as a distorted voice crackles, "I have been considering your threat to file charges of assault against Me for your transformation into a maggot."

You say, "I expect the window of opportunity for that particular charge has passed, but I maintain that it is a valid option in general."

Energy surges across the dome above as a distorted voice crackles, "I wish to test the idea none-the-less. Forcing Pejat to consider it gives us both information we would find valuable and I will grant
you a boon for your cooperation, should you choose to join in the idea."

You say, "You...want me to sue you for assault?"

Energy surges across the dome above as a distorted voice crackles, "Or at least pretend to. I am certain one of the magistrates would play along."

You say, "I think that can be arranged. Shall I send him a private letter, or present the charges to the full Board?"

Confession: I fixed a metric buttload of typos. I was laughing too hard to be neat.

You say, "Oh!"

You say, "I can add in another charge, if you like."

Energy surges across the dome above as a distorted voice crackles, "And what is that?"

You say, "A truly petty one, but technically valid. The title "Lord Archiect" is technically a violation of the case articles, unless you've produced thirty merits of art or science that I've never discovered."

You say, "Since 'lord' is restricted."

A booming laugh rolls around you like thunder.

You say, "Even I don't think that's worth pursuing. But if I'm pressing charges against You anyway.."

Energy surges across the dome above as a distorted voice crackles, "That would certainly liven things up."

Energy surges across the dome above as a distorted voice crackles, "A letter directly to him will suffice. I don't wish to get the entire Board riled up, they have such delicate dispositions."

Energy surges across the dome above as a distorted voice crackles, "Any reasonable charges you wish to include. It is Pejat's reaction that I am interested in, not the merits of the case in Hallifax's
legal system."

You say, "Excellent. Now, in the interest of full disclosure, you mentioned a boon? Of what kind?"


Protip: Always make your deals explicit.


Energy surges across the dome above as a distorted voice crackles, "Whatever you wish, so long as it is not something that the Creatrix has forbidden. You need not choose it now, if you prefer to call upon it at an opportune time for yourself."


Protip: Zvoltz should read the previous protip very carefully.



Energy surges across the dome above as a distorted voice crackles, "I also have the answer to the Board's question of the origin of the sharded flesh consumption ban, if such is of interest to you."

Energy surges across the dome above as a distorted voice crackles, "Though that is hardly a boon, merely something of interest if you wish to know it."

You say, "Somewhat. It struck me as a rather pointlessly unproductive law."

Energy surges across the dome above as a distorted voice crackles, "It had a similarly pointless and unproductive origin. It was created during Rika's tenure as Chairman for no discernable reason other than the prudish notions that the immigrants carried in from other nations. It did not come from Cririk."

You say, "Hm. I can't say that I know anything about her, but I'm glad to know that I haven't repealed some secret legal masterwork of Cririk."

The slow roll of thunderous laughter booms around you.

Energy surges across the dome above as a distorted voice crackles, "Do send me a copy of your letter. I am somewhat of a fan of your non-pun writings."

You say, "I shall do so. If that is all, I should go prepare it."

Energy surges across the dome above as a distorted voice crackles, "That is all. Be well, Lord Librarian."

With a flourish of your arm, you bow deeply.

You say, "Be well, Architect."

Ellision: Derping my way out of his fulcrux and going to go write a letter while laughing like a maniac.


Chairman Pejat Shevat, Shaper of Systems,


In full accordance with the law I do hereby bring charges against the entity commonly known as "Zvoltz" for the following high crimes and misdemeanours:


Peace Articles B.II.iii: Assault Against Non-Denizen Citizen

Hallifax Newspost 1074, as published by the Ministry of Information, details an argument by Zvoltz against an alliance with Gaudiguch. I offered a rebuttal in post 1078. Observe that my rebuttal was civil and founded upon evidence and reason.

Zvoltz saw fit to respond to my argument not in the same manner, but with brute violence. He did knowingly and deliberately transform me into a maggot without my consent for a period of two days. During the brief conversation that followed he declared himself to be a simple citizen of Hallifax, most likely in response to my original statement. In doing so he admitted that he is bound by our laws and thus can be brought to trial for them.

At the time, it seemed altogether imprudent to bring charges against a being that was willing to disregard our laws to assault me for the mere inconvenience of arguing against him. I have reconsidered that position. Given that there is no mandated expiration date on crime, my complaint remains valid.

It is my contention that transfiguration without consent constitutes an assault and I demand the justice be done accordingly.


Caste Articles: 3.i: Titles

Zvoltz is commonly known as the "Lord Architect." He employs this title himself and makes no effort to dissuade his followers from employing it.

To refer to oneself as a lord is an explicit right of those who have attained membership in the Assembly of Peers. I contend that Zvoltz has not done so.

An examination of the library and stage will reveal his complete lack of publications and recordings. As an elder god, he is incapable of attaining a seal. As such, it is mathematically impossible for him to attain the Peerage.

As he is not a peer, his title is infringes on the Assembly's rights and is thus unlawful. I demand that justice be done accordingly.


------

While Zvoltz has never personally murdered me, I would be remiss if I did not note that he has often violated Peace Article B.II.iii with fatal lightning strikes. I do not have standing to bring charges for those particular homicides, but others may do so if they are reminded of their rights.

I trust that justice will be done in a prompt and efficient manner. The law demands nothing less.


Glory to the Collective,
Portius Windwhisper
Taroch Laureate
Librarian of Hallifax
Future Chief Superintendent of the Sentinel Company
Peer of the Commonwealth


@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Pejat

High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar tells you, "Greetings, Chairman. I have received troubled

correspondence that requires your immediate attention."

=====Preeminent Court of Truth.=====

You give High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar a respectful salute.

High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar inclines her head politely to those around her.

You ask, "How may I assist, High Supreme Justice?"

High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar says, "I see that you have received a copy of the same letter,

Chairman."

You ask, "What concerns do you currently have?"

High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar maintains her regal demeanor, though her feathers are clearly

ruffled.

High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar says, "I am unable to sit in judgement on this case. All of the

other magistrates have also deferred."

Blinking in sudden confusion, you say, "But He is a citizen of the Collective. Why do you shrink

away from duty?"

Smoothing her feathers, High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar says, "Important duties such as this

must go to the ranking official. This case belongs to you."

Taking a second look at the letter, you say, "Very well. I will submit to your experience in this

matter."

You ask, "Is there any advise that you wish to impart before I begin?"

Softly, High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar says, "No."

Giving a stern salute, you say, "Understood. Thank you for your time, High Supreme Justice."

=====The Fulcrux of Zvoltz.=====

You drop to one knee, demonstrating your humility and respect.

High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar tells you, "Your decision will need to be filed with the court

in a timely manner, however, Chairman. You must render is wisely and expediently."

You ask, "Lord Architect, if You are present, may I speak with You?"

Energy surges across the dome above as a distorted voice crackles, "Yes, My Pejat?"

Energy surges across the dome above as a distorted voice crackles, "Ilian is handling the art

auction, if you are looking to place a bid."

You say, "Understood. A fellow citizen of Hallifax has filed a charge against you. I have been

selected by the Justices to handle the matter. May I have your statement?"

You drop a translucent crystalline letter.

Energy surges across the dome above as a distorted voice crackles, "You will have to tell Me the

charge against Me before I will consider whether it deserves a response."

You say, "I have the letter here for your review."

A spark alights onto the letter, disappearing in a single flash of light.

Energy surges across the dome above as a distorted voice crackles, "I am more interested in your

statement in this matter, not Mine, My Pejat."

Mildly pouting his lip in thought, you say, "In all conflicts between fellow Citizens I gather

private testimony. I then consider the similarities and differences. I then seek to make a judgement

that would prevent future incident."

Energy surges across the dome above as a distorted voice crackles, "You were privy to the incident

as it occurred, My Pejat. I am rather more disappointed that the city allows it citizens to be so

public with their disrespect of the Elders than I am by these charges."

Energy surges across the dome above as a distorted voice crackles, "You have access to the Ministry

of Information and the archives of My Order. You may find My statement on My relationship to the

Collective and that shall suffice as My statement."

You say, "If you wish I can speak with Oberst Davos. Matters of citizen discipline are handled by

Guild Leadership. If there is no guild to go through, I tend to the matter."

Energy surges across the dome above as a distorted voice crackles, "I am uninterested in what the

Oberst has to say."

Standing and saluting, you say, "Understood, Lord Architect. I will review the statements."

Energy surges across the dome above as a distorted voice crackles, "Very well, My Pejat. Your are

dismissed then."

You say, "I do not seek his testimony. He would handle the discipline of the Librarian."

You ask, "Do You seek to have the Librarian instructed on respect?"

Energy surges across the dome above as a distorted voice crackles, "I have already instructed him,

as the city declined to teach him decorum after his outburst. His time as a maggot should have been

educational."

You say, "Understood. Thank you for Your time and thoughts on these matters."

You snap to attention zealously and stand with perfect military posture as ready as can be.

=====Preeminent Court of Truth.======

High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar inclines her head politely to you.

You ask High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar, "May I submit my report orally?"

High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar says, "You may, Chairman."

You say, "On the matter of Caste Article 3.i, the Lord Architect is not currently in a caste. If the

Lord Architect seeks to join a specific Caste without having joined the Peers, He would need a

change in title in order to conform with society."

High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar says, "What is it that you wish for the court to order on that

count??"

You say, "That the Librarian's claim on Caste Article 3.i has been denied. The reasoning should be

included."

High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar takes notes in neat handwriting.

Looking up, High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar says, "And your ruling on the other charge raised?"

You say, "On the matter of Peace Article B.II.iii, as there was no fatal interaction between the

pair, I will be submitting a disfavour to the Lord Architect. I will also make a public statement

that all disagreements should be handled in paperwork. If two citizens are so inclined to physically

conflict, it must be reserved to the arena."

Her quill poised over the parchment, High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar says, "You wish to enter

the court's orders as a disfavour applied to the Lord Architect?"

You state, "Correct."

High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar slows steps backwards with a look of concern.

(Hallifax): High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar says, "Lord Librarian. Your presence is requested

in the Court of Truth."

With a flourish of his arm, Portius bows deeply.

Lord-Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Paragon of Progress says, "Reporting as requested."

You give Portius a respectful salute.

High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar scratches her quill against her face as if struggling to keep

her expression neutral.

High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar says, "The Chairman has entered his decisions into the court

record."

Lord-Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Paragon of Progress says, "And those decisions are...?"

Portius shimmers into existence before you.

Struggling to keep her voice even, High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar says, "They are such: You

claim on Caste Article 3.i has been denied as the Lord Architect is not currently a member of a

caste. In the matter of Peace Article B.II.iii a disfavour has been ordered served to the Lord

Architect due to the non-fatal nature of the assault."

Lord-Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Paragon of Progress says, "I am no legal scholar, but am I not

correct in recalling that the Manifesto clearly states that citizens without a caste, are servants?

By definition?"

High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar says, "I have already entered it into the record."

Lord-Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Paragon of Progress says, "Marvelous."

You say to Portius, "Please hire a legal scholar and report back to me what you find."

Lord-Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Paragon of Progress says to you, "I shall do so."

High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar says, "Does that tell you what you wish to know, Lord

Librarian?"

Lord-Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Paragon of Progress says, "I think so."

Genuflecting, High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar says, "Does that tell you what you wished to know,

Lord Architect?"

You say, "I will be making a public statement at a later time."

A cold male voice laced with static echoes into your mind, "It does, High Supreme Justice. My thanks

for your cooperation in this endeavour."

A cold male voice laced with static echoes into your mind, "My thanks to you as well, Lord

Windwhisper."

Lord-Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Paragon of Progress says, "It was my extreme pleasure."

Zvoltz, the Father of Storms bestows His divine disfavour upon you. It will last for 14 months.

Returning to her work, High Supreme Justice Lilliana Sunfar says, "A good day to you all, then."

Lord-Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Paragon of Progress says, "Indeed. Good day, comrades."

With a flourish of his arm, Portius bows deeply.

You say, "Work well."

Portius moves away to the south, his form wreathed in flickers of burning parchment.

(The Lawgivers): Zvoltz says, "I confess to being disappointed, My Pejat. While it was entertaining

to see Portius' excitement to play along, I am wounded by the lack of faith which you have show Me,

and the lack of respect Hallifax tolerated toward My person."

(The Lawgivers): You say, "I confess that it is my duty to settle matters between citizens. I must

make it clear to all citizens that matters of disagreement must always be handled through

bureaucratic process."

(The Lawgivers): Zvoltz says, "Do not stray onto Morbo's path, My Pejat. Looking at the Elders as

simply a mortal with more interesting powers will only lead to sorrow for the both of us."

(The Lawgivers): You say, "Do they not hold the same legal standing in the Collective? If this

should not be the case then it must be written in the Law."

Portius tells you, "On castes: It seems that servants lack caste, but not all those who lack caste

are explicitly servants. Citation: The Collectivist Manifesto, Page Three."

You tell Lord-Librarian Portius Windwhisper, Paragon of Progress, "Thank you for the note, Lord

Librarian."

(The Lawgivers): Zvoltz says, "Mortal law is writ by mortal hand for a mortal audience. Do not

confuse the laws of Hallifax as the Law. The Law is what I laid down as the foundations for all

Structure in this world. Your mortals laws are like children building castles in the sandbox.

Hallifax may boast that is has the larger castle, but in the end it is only sand to Me."

(The Lawgivers): Zvoltz says, "I must return to My vigil over Iklara. Think on what I have said."

8800h, 6800m, 10800e, 10p, 26400en, 26400w Bex-

(The Lawgivers): You say, "It is not something we can neglect. We are both citizens of the

Collective, and we must work for as long as we are able to improve those laws."

(The Lawgivers): You say, "Certainly, Lord Architect."

Pejat

2016/01/29 06:20:57 - Pejat citydisfavoured Zvoltz for: Please refer to HALLIFAX 1118 for context.

A lattice of energy crackles across the firmament in coruscating arcs of icy white brilliance.

As you begin to glow with a resplendent light, an electric thrill runs down your spine before blinding pain seizes your consciousness. As you open your mouth to scream, fulminating arcs of icy white brilliance explode from your body to engulf you in wracking agony before you feel your very structure collapse beneath the onslaught.

You have been slain by Zvoltz.

The mortal threads of your being severed, you scream in agony as the Divine spark within you enfolds 

your body with scorching flames.

0h, 0m, 0e, 10p, 26400en, 26400w Bex- -8800 health -6800 mana -10800 ego

Sylandra

Havastus

Every weekday morning, I wake up at 7:30 EST and drag my tired butt into the shower. My alarm clock is the iHeartRadio app, set to play the local Rock station. In the morning, they host a very popular radio show called The Morning Buzz, where the host BS back and forth about whatever's going on, along with playing games and all that. It's great fun, and it's an excellent way of keeping myself entertained as I'm getting ready for/driving to work.

Every Wednesday at about 8:00am, they host a segment called "Who's The Douchbag?", where listeners write in about a situation that occurs between two people, leaving it up to the hosts and a jury of listeners to decide who, indeed, was the douchebag in that case. Usually around this time, I'm in the shower, and we all know what happens when you get to thinking about things while showering. I myself like to imagine I'm dealing with whatever douchbag situation they're talking about, and think about what I would do were that happening to me. I also enjoy laughing at the stupid responses people call in with.

I say all of that because, after reading that amazing, amazing log of Hallifaxian Bureaucratic Wonder, I'm left thinking if Zvoltz himself went through a similar process as me in the morning. Except, instead of listening to the radio, he was thinking to himself, "Oh my goodness, this will be a HILARIOUS way to fuck with my city!"

All and all, a perfect 5/7! Well done!

Zagreus

I concur, perfect 5/7.

(For those wondering what the reference is.. http://imgur.com/gallery/6xkzh)

Lavinya

@Zvoltz is too cool. Must make Halli alt and infiltrate said coolness.

Ushaara

Haha. Should have charged him with excessive noise too! All that thunder and static.

Saran

To be fair, Hallifax's laws (the ones from Cririk at least) were written in a time without gods afaik. Time for someone to write the "God Articles"?

Cyndarin

On the one hand, hilarious. On the other, Hallifax RP makes no sense. 

Nienla

Hallifax is all about laws and stifling bureaucracy. Bravo, though. This was an entertaining read. Were I not in love with Glom, a Hallifaxian would definitely have to be considered.

Cyndarin

Who decided RPing Congress was a good idea?

Borg are so much cooler. 

Portius

I think it's best to view Hallifax as a corrupt bureaucratic despotism type government. Most of us aren't so much about always following the law as we are about agreeing that order is good for everyone and then discretely ignoring laws when it suits us. Or rewriting laws to favor us. Basically for most (not all) of us I think that law is really more of a tool than a goal.

Falaeron

What everyone forgets is that Order (ie laws) is just the (best) method to attaining Harmony through the arts and sciences, which is the ultimate goal.

Phoebus

Portius said:

I think it's best to view Hallifax as a corrupt bureaucratic despotism type government. Most of us aren't so much about always following the law as we are about agreeing that order is good for everyone and then discretely ignoring laws when it suits us. Or rewriting laws to favor us. Basically for most (not all) of us I think that law is really more of a tool than a goal.

Bah! Kids these days, playing at being orderly when they're really just as bad as any ground-dwelling brute, applying the law or ignoring it as it suits their needs. [-( Shameful.

Talan

Portius said:

I think it's best to view Hallifax as a corrupt bureaucratic despotism type government. Most of us aren't so much about always following the law as we are about agreeing that order is good for everyone and then discretely ignoring laws when it suits us. Or rewriting laws to favor us. Basically for most (not all) of us I think that law is really more of a tool than a goal.

Man, I don't want to instigate, but I really don't think that Hallifax in general is all on this page.

Edit: See.

Daraius

Portius is the main guy for proposing rewrites of laws to suit his interests. He just happens to be very persuasive.

Phoebus

Daraius said:

Portius is the main guy for proposing rewrites of laws to suit his interests. He just happens to be very persuasive.

He must get it from his father.  8-|

Sylandra

Who incidentally was the one who banned food with shards in it at the Matrix, if I recall correctly!