Tales from the Treasure Chest of Sir Bandeon, The Storytelling Pirate

Lyora

During a recent visit to Celest, I had the pleasure of bumping into @Bandeon who recounted many tales of his fellow Celestians (okay - only 2 stories, both about @Romaan but I will collect more!)

I call the first one -

SIR ROMAAN, A CUCUMBER AND THREE MAIDENS

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "'ello. Back again, are ye?"

You say, "How are you?"

You say, "One moment."

You say, "I seem to have lost my protege!"

You say, "We are visiting Celest."

You blink.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Aye? Ye do seem ta be by yer lonesome."

You say, "Actually..he appears to have left."

You blink.

Bandeon chuckles long and heartily.

You say, "Silly boy."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says to Romaan, "Heard ye were givin' out yer life story."

Romaan beams broadly at you.

"Heh heh heh" Romaan chuckles.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "Not much to tell."

Romaan nods his head sagely.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Well there was the part where ye rescued the three maidens
in the tower, an' they insisted on repayin' ye by... well, ladies present."

Romaan beams broadly.

You blink.

You say, "What?"

You say, "I have not heard this story!"

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Or tha' time ye fought the dragon with naught but a
toothpick, a piece o' rope, an' the dew o' a thi...."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "... The Nil was tha'?"

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says to you, "Don't encourage him! He get to storytelling
then..."

Romaan subjects Bandeon to a merciless teasing.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Ach, ye nae 'eard the story?"

Romaan tilts his head and listens intently to Bandeon.

You shake your head at Bandeon.

You say to Bandeon, "Share!"

You wag your tail happily.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "So Sir Romaan was journeyin' in the Inner Sea, as 'e does
sometimes because o' 'is medical condition where 'is skin dries out. Verra serious, 'e 'is an
inspiration ta us all, when 'e 'eard from beneath the waves a crashin' an' a wailin' like ta make
any man scared fer 'is life."

You give a trillingly melodic laugh.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "I have not heard this story and apparently I was
there."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Sir Romaan was nae afeared, though, for 'e 'ad with 'im
'is mighty blade, made o' one sheet o' paper folded three t'ouasand times ta a razor edge.
Admittedly 'twas a bit soggy, but 'e hardened it with 'is pure determination an' dove inta the
depths."

You laugh melodically at Romaan.

Romaan stares at Sir Bandeon with a rapt look.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "On the bottom o' the sea, 'e saw the most curious o'
sights. A tower, made entirely out o' spun glass, an' bein' attacked by a monstrous, five headed sea
cucumber."

You giggle happily at Romaan.

Romaan gives a horrified gasp.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge exclaims, "Not a sea cucumber!"

You say to Romaan, "And you say you're boring."

"Pssshhhh..." you say.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "I am."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "From the highest tower, 'e 'eard the sweetest o' cries,
an' glimpsed a fair hand thrust through the window in supplication. Did our brave Sir Romaan run?
Nae, 'e drew 'is paper sword (albeit a bit soggy, cause water, ye ken), an' strove ta attack the
beast!"

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "The battle was horrendous, an' tidal waves wracked the
whole Basin as these two titans struggled beneath the sea."

Romaan snickers softly to himself.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge mutters, "Tit...."

Romaan looks up into the air for divine inspiration.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "Titans."

Romaan peers at himself unscrupulously.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "The moon quaked in he sky, stars fell, an' milk
spontenously turned inta cheese!"

You blink incredulously at Romaan.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Also mebbe a cow gave birth ta a snake an' things o' tha'
kidney, ye ken."

You blink.

You say, "Now I am just lost.."

Romaan gives a horrified gasp.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge asks, "No more milk?"

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "An' finally, Sir Romaan smote the cucumber a mighty blow
on it's central head! As the beast withered, it cursed 'im ta ne'er be able ta find 'is left sock,
fer all o' eterenity."

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge exclaims, "So that is what happened to it!"

"Wow!" Romaan exclaims!

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "As the beast died, three beautiful kelpie maidens came
down from the tower ta proffer thanks, an' ta offer Sir Romaan a boon."

Romaan tilts his head and listens intently to Bandeon.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge asks, "What was it?"

Romaan's eyes raise to the heavens as a look of hope flashes across his face.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "The first maiden offered 'im a lock o' 'er seaweed hair,
which would keep 'im safe from all attacks by hunnert foot starfishes."

Your eyes sparkle with amusement.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "The second maiden offered 'im 'er golden hankerchief,
which would show nae boogies t'all."

"Nice!" Romaan says with an enthusiastic thumbs up.

You blink.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge exclaims, "I always wanted one of them!"

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "An' the third maiden offered 'im a kiss from 'er red lips,
which would cure 'im o' any embarassin' personal problems, an' also be somethin' ta brag about ta
the lads if Sir Romaan was the kind ta kiss an' tell."

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge asks, "What was the third thing?"

Romaan blushes furiously.

Your eyes sparkle with amusement at Romaan.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says to Bandeon, "One question, Sir?"

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "'owever, Sir Romaan was too noble ta accept these gifts,
an' instead left the ladies 'is paper sword, ten thousand gallons o' highly flammable liquid, an' a
torch what burns underwater, an' tole 'em ta get off their purty arses an' defend themselves."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Aye?"

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge asks Bandeon, "Why don't I remember any of this?"

You give a trillingly melodic laugh.

You say to Romaan, "Did you really do that? That's not very nice to the ladies!"

Romaan hums a happy tune.

"Tsk, tsk," you say as you waggle a finger and scold the world in general.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says to Romaan, "Oh, tha's because o' yer adventures in the Caves
o' Horrible Memory Eatin' Squirrel-Penguins."

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says to you, "Remember the part where I most closely
associate with Shakiniel."

Comprehension flashes across Romaan's face.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge exclaims to Bandeon, "I remember them!"

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "Very scary creatures."

Bandeon nods his head sagely.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Aye, it be a verra appropriately named place."

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "Horrible, sharp pointy ears and no teeth. They gum
you to forget."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "The worst part, I think ,be the part where they try ta
throw the memories back up inta yer ears."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "It's messy fer all involved."

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "And you have this horrible stench from their breath."

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "And slobber...gods, do they slobber."

Your eyes sparkle with amusement at Romaan.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Well aye, they mostly feed on the memories o' drunkards
an' the occasional tax collector."

You say to Romaan, "Will you take me on one of your adventures some time?"

You wag your tail happily.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge exclaims to Bandeon, "So that is what happened to all the
tax collectors!"

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says to you, "I sure would."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Jus' remember tha' e'ery Sir Romaan adventure ends with
somethin' explodin' dramatically."

Romaan nods his head sagely.

You ponder the situation.

You say to Romaan, "Well you better make sure that exploding something is not me or we can't be
friends anymore!"

You hop up and down on Romaan's foot.

"Ooowwwww!", Romaan whines.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "Odd things will be exploding but certainly not you."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Ta be fair, it's only a pretty girl about two out o' three
times."

You stare implacably about yourself.

You shake your head at Romaan.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Poor Mrs. Romaans numbers one through twenty three. Ye
shall be missed."

Opening your mouth wide, you gape in wonder at Romaan.

You say, "Woman-killer."

Romaan blinks perplexedly for a moment before emitting a confused "Wha?"

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "Wasn't my fault."

You say, "Perhaps if I look like a man, that will decrease my chances of exploding?"

Romaan gives a horrified gasp.

Bandeon shrugs helplessly.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Nae 'elped Mrs. Romaan 19."

Romaan says, "Pssshhhh..."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Shoulders like a plow horse, tha' one."

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says to Bandeon, "That was just gas and you know it."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Ta be fair, she did grow a fine mustache."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says to Romaan, "Aye, but ye lit the match."

"Shhh!" Romaan hisses softly.

You stare implacably at Romaan.

You say to Romaan, "I....I don't think I want to go any adventures with you anymore."

"Awwwww!" Romaan says.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "I haven't blown anyone up in years."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Jus' nae eat beans aforehand an' bring a supply o' left
socks."

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says to you, "See, quite the storyteller."

The corners of Bandeon's mouth turn up as he grins mischievously.

You snicker softly to yourself.

You say to Bandeon, "I think I will be visiting you more."

You wag your tail happily.

Lyora

WHY SIR ROMAAN IS NO LONGER A CANTOR

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says to you, "So why're ye jus' hangin' out at the Pool?"

You point accusingly at Romaan.

You say, "I was waiting for Romaan!"

You wag your tail happily.

Bandeon looks about himself, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Usually people flee from Sir Romaan."

You say, "Why?"

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "'e 'as an awful singin' voice."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Jus' terrible. E'ery since the accident..."

Bandeon gives a pained sigh.

Romaan nods his head sagely at Bandeon.

You say, "Well, I'll be sure he doesn't sing around me."

Romaan sings out 'Tra la la la la' happily.

You stare implacably at Romaan.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge sings, "Row."

You say, "No."

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge sings, "Row."

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge sings, "Row."

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge sings, "Your boat."

Romaan clears his throat.

Bandeon peers at Romaan unscrupulously.

Bandeon thwaps Romaan on the head.

"Ooowwwww!", Romaan whines.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "It needed ta be done, fer the good o' all people."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "I regret naethin'"

Romaan nods his head at Bandeon, showing his acceptance.

You give a trillingly melodic laugh.

You say to Bandeon, "So, what of this accident?"

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge asks, "What incident?"

Romaan tilts his head and listens intently.

You say to Romaan, "Your singing accident!"

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge exclaims, "That was no accident!"

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge exclaims, "That was an on purpose!"

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Oh, ye didna know tha' Sir Romaan was orginially a Bard?"

Romaan sticks his tongue out and says 'Ack.'

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "No, never."

Romaan looks around himself suspiciously and shouts, "Lies and slander!"

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "It's a tragic tale, 'ow 'e sacrificed 'is future bardness
ta save the city."

Romaan looks about himself suspiciously.

Romaan rolls his eyes.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "Here we go again."

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge asks Bandeon, "And how, pray tell, did I do that?"

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Ye see, Sir Romaan was originally Choir Boy Romaan, a
lowly bard workin' in the Cantor guildhall. He was knee high ta a tuba, jus' a wee bitty baby o' a
lad."

Your eyes sparkle with amusement.

You give a trillingly melodic laugh.

You say to Romaan, "You played the tuba?"

You giggle happily.

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "It sounds like the tuba played me."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Now, back in those days, the dwarven kingdoms declared
they would nae longer be influenced by sweet words an' blandishments. Ta win their loyalty, the
cities an' communes would 'ave ta do it the traditional dwarven way: drinkin' contest."

Sir Romaan Hartfire, Shakiniel's Charge says, "That is so cliche."

Romaan nods his head sagely.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "So each city an' commune sent their best. From our city,
'twas me sister, Dame @Andala, a mighty drinker o' great renown an' also pretty scary, in general, ye
ken. She took wit 'er, ta sing 'er praises an' clean up the vomit, the littlest choir boy, Romaan."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "They gathered in the great hall o' the dwarves, deep
beneath the mountains, an' the rules o' the contest were explained. Each city or commune was ta
bring out their strongest liquor, an' all o' them would be combined inta one terribly strong drink.
Whomever could drink a keg o' this foul concoction would 'ave the eternal respect o' the dwarves."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Firs', the Tainted offered a brandy made from the tears o'
orphans. It was awful. 'ad no good bouquet an' the strength was frankly piss."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Gaudiguch offered a wine made from grapes grown on
volcanic soil, an' then sifted through charcoal. 'twas strong, but a bit spicy."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Hallifax offerd a vodka, made from potatos tha' hadna been
grown yet. As the vodka was drunk, yer past self would be the one feelin' the hangover."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Serenwilde brought forth a whiskey made o' juniper berries,
 strong enough ta varnish the insides o' a wildwood."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Glomdorin' offered a cordial made o' elderberry an'
shadows, refined so tha' one drop would make ye think the whole wood was out ta get ye, instead o'
jus' half the wood like normal."

You say, "Okay but."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "An' the offerin' o' Celest was a scotch made o' seaweed
called Paladin Sweat. If yer drinkin' it, yer obviously down on yer luck."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Aye?"

You say, "What about the accident!"

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Oh, we're gettin' thar."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Ye see, Romaan thought 'e would be clever."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic exclaims, "Obviously Andala would be able ta handle any challenge,
 an' so 'e thought ta... fortify the concoction by addin' the SPIRIT O' PURE INEBRIATION!!"

You say, "Spirit of Pure Inebriation?"

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "This be a liquor so powerful, tha' the merest whiff o'
it's fumes would cause ye ta see dancin' purple elephants. Romaan 'ad a vial, squirreled away fer a
special occasion. As each city dumped it's liquor inta the pot, Romaan prepared the vial, expectin'
ta pour it in unnoticed like an' thereby give Andala an advantage in the contest."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "The pot was tall, an' there were steps leadin' up ta it.
As Sir Romaan climbed the stairs, 'e realized tha' perhaps wearin' 'is tuba ta this even, while
formal an' all, was mebbe nae the best idea. As 'e leaned o'er the foul concoction, strongest
alcohol in the Basin, an' prepared ta fortify it with the pure spirit o' inebriation, the
unthinkable 'appened. 'e fell inta the pot!"

Sir Aegisbier Hartfire, Knight of the Aegis whispers, "I always knew dad was clumsy, now I know why.
"
You laugh melodically at Aegisbier.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "The tuba drug him ta the bottom of the mixture. 'e could
feel it eatin' 'is skin, dissolvin' 'is earwax. There was but one way ta escape ta safety: Romaan
opened 'is mouth, an' began drinkin' the foul brew."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "With each gulp, it was as though liquid fire was bein'
forced down 'is throat. He drank, an' drank, an' drank until 'e was sure 'e would burst. One small
merian lad couldna drink enough alcohol meant fer six o' the greatest drinkers in the Basin! An'
then, when all hope seemed lost... Sir Romaan let out a mighty belch, the force o' which instanty
turned all the liquor inta vapors!"

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "The dwarves gave a mighty cry, as this was prophecied long
ago by Magnora. The prophecy read "When a small fish turns a lake inta a cloud, ye shall realize
tha' drinkin' contests are piss poor ways o' makin' political decisions". An' so, Sir romaan saved
the city many tedious hours o' drinkin'. Howe'er, his beautiful voice was scarred by the liquor, an'
'e would fere'er more sound like a mugwump tha' swallowed a slightly smaller mugwump."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "The end."

You laugh melodically at Bandeon.

The corners of Aegisbier's mouth turn up as he grins mischievously.

You say, "That does explain why he can't sing anymore!"

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "See, it all be verra logical."

You say to Bandeon, "You have such a wonderful memory of your fellow citymates. I'm glad I
befriended you! I can look forward to many more stories."

You wink conspiratorially at Bandeon.

Bandeon shrugs helplessly.

You say to Bandeon, "Perhaps one about Aegisbier next time?"

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "As time allows, perhaps."

Your eyes twinkle enchantingly.

Bandeon looks about himself, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

Bandeon peers at Aegisbier unscrupulously.

You nod your head at Bandeon.

You say, "Of course."

The corners of Aegisbier's mouth turn up as he grins mischievously.

Sir Aegisbier Hartfire, Knight of the Aegis says, "My stories are yet unwritten."

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "E'es gotta do some epic deeds. Righ' now I jus' 'ave the
Time sir Aegisbier went rattin' an' actually killed a dog."

You give a trillingly melodic laugh.

Sir Bandeon Ladyn, Orclach Ascetic says, "Ta be fair, it was a lil one."

Aegisbier chuckles long and heartily.

Sir Aegisbier Hartfire, Knight of the Aegis says, "It was snapping at me and tried to steal my lunch.
 Looked like a rat to me."

Everiine

@Bandeon is indeed a great storyteller .

Gabriella

I want to be this man's friend.

Bandeon

To be fair, for every Romaan and the Cucumber there is like 4 bad stories. So... friendship may not be in the best interests of all involved.

Ymuli

Gabriella Talnara, Blossoming Hope exclaims to Everiine, "Look how miserable Ymuli looks!"

Gabriella points accusingly at you.

Gabriella Talnara, Blossoming Hope says, "She's so sad!"

Kimusuna Bandeon Ladyn says, "Well..."

Kimusuna Bandeon Ladyn says, "Tha's probably because o' the time Ymuli traded 'er joy fer three magic hazlenuts."

Everiine raises an eyebrow at Bandeon.

You stare implacably at Bandeon.

Slowly, you say, "I did what?"

Kimusuna Bandeon Ladyn says, "Ye remember?"

Gabriella Talnara pauses in her sniffling and crocodile tears, blinking at Bandeon inquisitively.

Thoughtfully, you say, "Maybe the memory altering squirrels got to me too."

Kimusuna Bandeon Ladyn says, "One day, Ymuli was standin' 'ere at the Moonhart Tree. She was jus' a wee thing... well, a more wee thing, an' so she was verra intimidated ta see a large igasho wit a pack on 'is back wander inta the clearin' cryin': Wares and baubles! Mysteries an' wonders! Firs' come firs' serve! Nae credit accepted, all sales final!"

Gabriella Talnara's 'tears' dry up completely as she listens with wide eyes to Bandeon.

Kimusuna Bandeon Ladyn says, "Ymuli was scared, but curious, as we all know 'er ta be. So she said softly ta the peddler: Sir? Wha' do ye 'ave in yer bag fer a wee girl such as me ta be 'appy?"

Kimusuna Bandeon Ladyn says, "The peddler saw a wee baby customer, an' so... the bargains were on. Out o' the packs came pots an' pans, needles an' thread. Wonderful fabrics, ingenious toys, stunnin' artifacts o' days gone by. Ymuli looked at 'em all wit wonder an' appreciation, but found naught ta make 'er 'appy."

Kimusuna Bandeon Ladyn says, "Then came forth e'en more strange wares. A shovel wha' created holes, a fan fer siftin' smoke left handed. A mirror tha' could light the brightest day."

Gabriella Talnara drifts away from Everiine and moves over next to you.

Kimusuna Bandeon Ladyn says, "Finally, at t'bottom o' t'pack, the peddler drew forth three emerald hazlenuts. Now, we all ken 'ow faelin's are wit nuts. They are crazy fer 'em, an' wit this last prize, Ymuli thought she 'ad found somethin' tha' would make 'er 'appy."

You peer at Bandeon unscrupulously.

Gabriella blinks.

Kimusuna Bandeon Ladyn says, "An' so the bickerin' o'er price began. T'peddler's firs' offerin' was ta take the firs' born child o' Ymuli, as was custom. Ymuli countered wit the fourth born child an' a goat, an' the barternin' war began. Me friends, I am an ole ole man, but if I live ta be one t'ousand I will ne'er again see a barter like I saw tha' day. Ymuli bartered strongly. Ta an' offer fer the color o' 'er 'air, she countered wit all the 'air from 'er left leg fer twelve years. Finally, the price settled on but one thing: three years o' unmitigated joy from Ymuli."

Gabriella stares implacably about herself.

You mutter, "This is clearly ... falsehood.. .'m ..ver going to ha.. an. childre.. .et ...ne four of ....!"

Kimusuna Bandeon Ladyn says, "She is but one year inta it, so she cannae be too 'appy at any given time. 'ence the grumblin'."

Gabriella ponders the situation.

Gabriella Talnara, Blossoming Hope says, "Is that why I'm grumbling about my brother not telling stories, too?"

Kimusuna Bandeon Ladyn says, "Mebbe."

Gabriella peers at you unscrupulously.

Gabriella peers at herself unscrupulously.

Gabriella Talnara, Blossoming Hope exclaims, "It's catching!"

Gabriella smooshes her face with her hands and screams, "Woe! Woe is me!"

Frowning, you say, "I'm not contagious like I'm sick or anything. And I can too be happy!"

Kimusuna Bandeon Ladyn says to you, "If I am lyin' mae orcs melt out me' righ' eye wit red hot pokers."

Tarkenton

*rolls orclach nekotai, customizes nekai to have a short description of red hot pokers*