Household Horror Stories: When It All Goes Horribly, Horribly Wrong

Gabriella

So, I know we've all had these terrible things that have gone wrong in our house. I was just telling @Avurekhos about one that just happened to me tonight - (like seriously, you CANNOT make this stuff up...) and wanted to share it with the rest of you. We don't really have a good spot for this, so here we are! Please feel free to share your household horror stories as well!

Gabriella

Forgot to actually post it! Here it is:

(Clan): You say, "So, I've had one hell of a night. Well, hour anyway."
(Clan): You say, "Came home to a MOUSE. TINY BABY MOUSE THING - which STILL freaked me out, just chilling under the coffee table. Wouldn't move."
(Clan): You say, "Thought it was dead at first."
(Clan): Avurekhos (from the Aetherways) says, "...."
(Clan): You say, "Pulled out a very old tupperware container, banged on teh floor and stuff to see if the mouse would move. It didn't."
(Clan): Avurekhos (from the Aetherways) says, ":3 I dont understand why a lot of women get afraid of rodents. Haha."
(Clan): You say, "Try to call boyfriend to get advice on what to do with mouse, he's mad I'm calling him so late, ignores me."
(Clan): You say, "I just didn't want it to skitter away while I was trying to get it, that's all. It's a little unnerving."
(Clan): You say, "Anyway, so boyfriend ignores me. Home alone because family is away on vacation through tomorrow."
(Clan): You say, "Notice at this point the mouse has moved half an inch. Something is wrong with it. Still not sure what, maybe a broken leg? Think the puggle maybe did something to it while I was at work."
(Clan): You say, "Go get the cat, toss her in the living room. She goes to the mouse, sniffs it, doesn't do anything to it. Now I'm afraid it's sick or something, so I call her away so she won't eat it."
(Clan): You say, "Get a bigger tupperware container. Spend ten minutes dancing in place until I feel brave enough to put the container over the mouse. Success!"
(Clan): Avurekhos (from the Aetherways) says, "<.<!"
(Clan): You say, "Feel really bad for the mouse. Want to put it outside. Sacrifice a cheezit box and spend the next fifteen minutes getting the mouse onto the cardboard without disturbing the tupperware."
(Clan): You say, "Very carefully extract the mouse and cardboard/tupperware cage, put it on the table in the inner porch so I can open the outer door. Go to pick up the container - MOUSE IS OUTSIDE THE CONTAINER."
(Clan): You say, "I DON'T KNOW HOW. IT WAS TAPED DOWN."
(Clan): You say, "Spend five minutes panicking, and then finally get brave and bring whole thing outside, praying mouse won't stage dive."
(Clan): Avurekhos (from the Aetherways) says, "I just lol'd."
(Clan): You say, "Toss it out into the grass, shine flash-light to make sure that the mouse landed safely."
(Clan): You say, "Mouse landed safely and is now CRAWLING VERY QUICKLY TOWARDS THE LIGHT."
(Clan): Avurekhos (from the Aetherways) says, "This sounds like a mission, and a half."
(Clan): Avurekhos (from the Aetherways) says, "MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: GABBY AND THE MOUSE EDITION."
(Clan): You say, "Panic, run inside, lock the doors. Get the cat, toss her outside (since she wanted to go out anyway). Pray that the mouse doesn't find its way back inside."
(Clan): You say, "Pray that the cat gets rid of the mouse, but that the mouse isn't sick so the cat doesn't get sick. Fret about this for a while."
(Clan): You say, "Go wipe the floor where the mouse was sitting and discover GIANT PEE PUDDLE FROM THE PUGGLE."
(Clan): You say, "And am barefoot."
(Clan): You say, "Clean up pee puddle. Clean up mouse area. Bring in the cat."
(Clan): You say, "And here we are."
(Clan): You say, "THAT WAS MY NIGHT."

Sedanas

Sheesh, damn people just can't give me five moments of peace. Let me tell you about MY day.

I've lived in this house for awhile. My parents, and their parents, and their parents parents all lived here. It has quite the history! A bit of murder and mayhem as well, to be sure, but I digress. I've lived here a very long time, and that leads to my story. 

So, here I am, minding my own business. I sleep where I want, because I can. It's my house. But no. Here comes the woman. Banging and making a fuss, as usual, probably because of that gift I left under her pillow just prior to this, but nevertheless as loud and angry as ever. I decide to ignore it, she'll stop eventually, she always does, but noooooooooooo, not today! Today she thinks it'll be funny to make a big fuss and even bring HIM into the issue. Now, me and my pal have a bit of an agreement going. Fair enough, we both know this and play along. 

BUT NO, THIS BROAD THINKS SHE CAN PLAY GAMES AND PUTS ME IN HER "FINEST CHINA" (And by finest, I mean their finest) and thinks it's funny to stuff me into a Cheez-it box of all things. Seriously. I hate this stuff, I'm more classy than that! I should at least be worthy of the Cheese-nips , but again I digress. She goes and opens what I can only assume is the bathroom door for a little scuba mouse action, and by now I've had it. I'm like, mouse-in-a-plastic-container-in-a-cheezit-box mad. I used to be quite the spelunker in my day, cracking out of egg cartons and milk jugs, so breaking out was easy. Unfortunately I wasn't quick enough to breech the second layer of defenses, and next thing -I- know I'm being flung around like a mothball sucked in the of the AC! Now I'm royally mad. I won't accept taking my usual nibble of her dinner in payment for this harsh treatment.

One quick weightless moment and it was over, I'm stumbled outside, crickets cricketing their faces off, and I manage to crawl my way out into a bright light. Thinking I'm dead, I figure screw it and go try and give God what for! Who do they think they are, treating me like that? Next thing I know, the furball is flying towards me and looking at me with the most stupid look on his face, and I realize what's going on. The woman is again frantically bobbing and jigging around, and the light is quickly interrupted by the slamming of some door. Me and the feline had a good ol' chat about the funny stuff we should do next, and I bid farewell for now. 

Eh, I'll just come back through that hole near the bedroom window. No big deal, sure... But I do hope the woman enjoys the massive golden gift I left.

 Kekekekeke.

Gabriella

Sedanas said:

Sheesh, damn people just can't give me five moments of peace. Let me tell you about MY day.

<redacted>

 Kekekekeke.

This took me until the second sentence to realize what you were doing.

MEAN.  MEAN @Sedanas - but very funny.

Srsly though.

Aeldra

Nothing beats a long day like getting home to something inside your appartment that very clearly shouldn't be there. So I can symphatize very much @gabriella. However, your recount of the events was very hilarious to read and I laughed merrily about it. @Sedanas had to blow off the bottom of the barrel though. Hilarious :-)

Tylwyth

Meh, there was a point in my life where I couldn't go to the bathroom without all three of my nieces, my dad's dog, my  brother's dog, and my sisters cat ALL insisted on coming into the bathroom with me....

Stratas

At first I read @Sedanas as @Shaddus, and was all "he's alting as RL mice, now?"

Xeria

maybe said mouse has been infested with a parasite that makes it act in reckless ways?