Crumkane comes to town. Brings bacon.








Sifter Dinae, Magus of Ire says to Lavinya, "I may need to break my contract

 with your family if your daughter keeps courting Gods like this."


The heady scent of aromatic cuisines saturates the air, accompanied by the

 portly form of Crumkane, Lord of Epicurean Delights, who arrives amidst wisps

 of fragranced smoke.


Crek raises his hand in greeting to Crumkane and says "Hi!"


Ellowyn curtseys gracefully before Crumkane.


You blink.


You curtsey gracefully before Crumkane.


Dinae inclines his head politely to those around him.


Crumkane, Lord of Epicurean Delights says, "Why hello there, little ones."


Pectus bows respectfully to Crumkane.


Crek Ysav'rai, Grand Magus of Sand says, "Good morning, Lord Crumkane.”


Ellowyn d'Murani says to Crumkane, "My Lord, it is an honour!"


Lavinya curtseys gracefully before Crumkane.


You say, "What a pleasure, Lord Crumkane."


Crumkane, Lord of Epicurean Delights says, "Such a gathering you've got here."


Ellowyn nods her head emphatically.


Ellowyn d'Murani says, "They all come to listen to me talk about bacon, my

 Lord."


Aois-Dana Lavinya d'Murani, Chosen of Legion says to Dinae, "That's quite the

 competition."


Crek chuckles long and heartily.


Your eyes sparkle with amusement at Lavinya.



Ardrak, Keeper of the Megalith links to the nexus and wild cosmic energies

 dance across his frame before he releases the connection.

A low, squeaky growl can be heard as Arun, the Displaced Dream suddenly spots a

 bug on the ground. Without hesitation he begins to chase it, but the battle

 with the insect quickly ends when he catches it in his mouth and makes it into

 dinner.


Crumkane, Lord of Epicurean Delights says to Ellowyn, "A fine topic of lecture

 indeed."


Ellowyn beams broadly.


Ellowyn d'Murani says, "I think so!"



Crumkane, Lord of Epicurean Delights says, "Do continue, I did not wish to

 interrupt."


Comprehension flashes across your face.


Lavinya's eyes sparkle with amusement.


Ellowyn d'Murani says to Crumkane, "Bacon is a way of life."


Ellowyn d'Murani says, "It is a lifestyle. Not merely a hobby, or a snack."


(The m'Kbrah Legacy): You say, "This just got really good."


Sifter Dinae, Magus of Ire says, "In the beginning, Dynara spoke the word in Ae

 for perfection, and it was "Bacon"."


Ellowyn snickers softly to herself.


Lavinya rolls her eyes.


Crek hides a grin behind his hand.


Crumkane leans on Ardrak as He turns His attention to the discussion at hand.


You say, "And so consumed was Magnora by the perfection of Bacon, she sought to

 devour all else till naught but the truth of Bacon remained."


(The m'Kbrah Legacy): Pectus says, "...I wish we had a vegan RPer here for

 this."


Dinae acknowledges the point with a grave nod of his head.


You have emoted: Tremula whistles a tune shockingly similar to the cry of a

 nightingale, looking coldly.


(The m'Kbrah Legacy): You say, "IT MESSED UP."


Musingly, Aois-Dana Lavinya d'Murani, Chosen of Legion says, "You'd think bacon

 would be the first thing consumed, if it were so delicious.”


Ellowyn d'Murani says to Lavinya, "Heathen!"


Sifter Dinae, Magus of Ire says, "Glory be to the Bacon. Nothing matters but

 sizzle pop."


Ellowyn d'Murani says to Crumkane, "How do you like Your bacon, my Lord?"


You say, "Astounded by Her actions, Yudhe cursed Magnora to forever wander the

 Void and never taste such Perfection."


Aois-Dana Lavinya d'Murani, Chosen of Legion says, "So you're saying bacon is

 not delicious? It is to merely be worshipped but not eaten?"


Crumkane, Lord of Epicurean Delights says, "It depends on the dish, little one,

 but usually quite crispy when appropriate."


Crek Ysav'rai, Grand Magus of Sand says, "Only the worthy may taste the salty

 and fatty delight that is bacon."


The corners of Crek's mouth turn up as he grins mischievously.


You say, "And lo, Dynara could never again attain such wonder in Her creations,

 instead turning to creation of others who could attempt to take Her mantle and

 fill the realm with Bacony goodness."


Dinae nods his head at you, showing his acceptance.


Keeping a respectful distance as he leans towards the Divine, Conductor Pectus

 n'Lochli whispers to Crumkane, "I like your socks, Lord. Do they happen to

 come with anise-stars?"


You say, "Maybe minutes, maybe centuries, maybe aeons passed, but eventually

 there would be One who understood the true potential of Bacon."


You nod your head sagely.


Crumkane, Lord of Epicurean Delights says to Pectus, "They come with whatever I

 will them to, little one. Let us see here."


Incredulously, Aois-Dana Lavinya d'Murani, Chosen of Legion says, "Ellowyn?"


Ellowyn nods her head at you, showing her acceptance.


Ellowyn d'Murani says, "This is the best day of my life."


Lavinya ponders Ellowyn thoughtfully, looking her up and down.


Ellowyn d'Murani says to Lavinya, "Yes, mother?"


You say, "For long ago the four food groups lived in harmony, but then

 everything changed when the vegetables took over. Only Lord Crumkane, master

 of all the sweets, could restore balance. But when the Basin needed Him most,

 He vanished."


(The m'Kbrah Legacy): Pectus says, "I was wrong. I didn't like him but I was

 wrong."


(The m'Kbrah Legacy): Pectus says, "Oh gosh I was wrong."


Dinae smiles softly at Milune.


Looking uncertain, Milune nudges Dinae with her foot.


Pectus's mouth turns up as his face breaks into a smile.


Dasina y'Bolgari, the lady-in-waiting idly twirls her parasol as she gazes

 about with polite indifference.


You say, "The mortals discovered him a few years ago, and though His sweets are

 truly marvelous, He's got a long way to go before He saves us all."


Dinae nods his head sagely at you.


You have emoted: Tremula plays an uplifting aria on her violin, reminiscent of

 hope and change.


Evanescent Milune d'Murani, Tone of Dischord whispers, "Onward."


Dinae tilts his head curiously at Milune.


Ellowyn d'Murani says, "Saves us all? From what? A bacon drought?"


Sifter Dinae, Magus of Ire says to Milune, "Where to?"


Crumkane snaps His fingers, and tiny stars pop up upon His sock, the scent of

 anise becoming heavier within the room.


Crek thwaps Ellowyn upside the head and says "Duh!"


Conductor Pectus n'Lochli laughingly says, "Perfect!"


Ellowyn wrinkles her nose and sniffs.


Crumkane puts His nose over a greasy platter of bacon-swaddled fried potato

 medallions and inhales.


Lavinya sniffs Crumkane, trying to decipher just what that smell emanating from

 Him is.


(The m'Kbrah Legacy): You say, "I don't know how I went from Creation-myth

 Crumkane to Crumkane - the Last Baconbender, but I regret nothing."


Crumkane consumes a greasy platter of bacon-swaddled fried potato medallions

 leisurely, seeming to enjoy every bite.


Ellowyn claps her hands together merrily.


You sense the following people:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

        Alary - before the Eternal Flame

         Alic - centre of the Necropolis

     Allehnon - the Moonhart Mother Tree

        Arien - the Moonhart Mother Tree

        Aruin - a quiet readers retreat

     Crumkane - Crumkane, Lord of Epicurean Delights                           

        Dinae - centre of the Necropolis

       Eirien - before the Master Ravenwood Tree

      Ellowyn - centre of the Necropolis

     Enyalida - a peaceful grove

     Eritheyl - before the Eternal Flame

         Feyr - a dead end passage

       Glaroc - before the Gnome Throne

       Kaalak - centre of the Necropolis

     Kalliste - the Pool of Stars

        Kreon - the Tabernacle of Shakiniel

       Milune - centre of the Necropolis

       Pectus - centre of the Necropolis

        Pejat - Foyer of the Conductorate

     Rheatsis - secluded grove by the river

        Saran - secluded grove by the river

      Tremula - centre of the Necropolis

       Tylash - the centre of a meditative garden

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(*) Currently, there are 23 Lusternians on this plane and 39 on other planes.


(Cacophony): Milune says, "Did....did you just sniff Him?"


Conductor Pectus n'Lochli looks confused and says, "Munsia had me design those

 platters. I think she was going to use them to cause heartattacks."


(Cacophony): Milune says, "Mis."


(The m'Kbrah Legacy): Crek says, "Now close it with a Bacon Wars: Return of the

 Crumkane.”


Ellowyn d'Murani says to Crumkane, "Is it possible... to, you know, make it

 rain bacon?"


Ellowyn tilts her head and listens intently to Crumkane.


Milune leaves, following Sifter Dinae, Magus of Ire.

Dinae leaves to the east. — {{Bow-wow, chicka bow-wow}}


Crumkane, Lord of Epicurean Delights says, "Anything is possible, little one."


Ellowyn drifts away from the conversation, lost in her daydreams.

21:46:12.86|100%h|98%m|104%e|10p|97%en|100%w Bexk- (psd)


Ellowyn d'Murani says, "I could just stand outside, tilt my head up and leave

 my mouth open."


Aois-Dana Lavinya d'Murani, Chosen of Legion says, "She will lose what little

 productivity she possesses if the basin is suddenly flooded with bacon."


Lavinya gives a pained sigh.


Ellowyn grins and nods.


(The m'Kbrah Legacy): You say, "Nah, I don't want to push it."


(The m'Kbrah Legacy): You say, "The amount of forums fodder from this

 conversation, though."


Crek Ysav'rai, Grand Magus of Sand says to Lavinya, "We can always have her run

 laps around the mountains afterward."


Crumkane quickly devours a large, greasy platter of bacon.


Ellowyn d'Murani says, "And what if the mountains were made of bacon?"



Aois-Dana Lavinya d'Murani, Chosen of Legion says, "We'd probably have to roll

 her around them."


Ellowyn d'Murani says, "Let us talk logistics.."


You give 9 greasy platters of bacon-swaddled fried potato medallions to

 Crumkane, Lord of Epicurean Delights.


Crek Ysav'rai, Grand Magus of Sand says to Lavinya, "Tie some bacon to the end

 of a long pole and put that in front of her."


You say, "Oh dear, how did that ever happen."


Ellowyn d'Murani says to Crumkane, "What is Your favourite food, m'Lord?"


Aois-Dana Lavinya d'Murani, Chosen of Legion says to Ellowyn, "There is not

 enough silk in the basin to cover a bacon-fattened backside."


Lavinya ponders Ellowyn thoughtfully, looking her up and down.


Ellowyn grins mischievously at Lavinya.


You nod your head sagely at Lavinya.


Ellowyn d'Murani says to Lavinya, "Bacon clothes!"


Pectus glances askance.


Conductor Pectus n'Lochli says, "Viynain designed that.."


Lavinya looks up into the air for divine inspiration.


"Heh heh heh" Crek chuckles.


Crek Ysav'rai, Grand Magus of Sand laughingly says, "Meat robes."


Conductor Pectus n'Lochli says, "A bacon undergarment set."


Ellowyn grins mischievously at Crek. 


Lavinya claps her hands over her ears.


Ellowyn d'Murani frowns and says, "If people wore bacon clothes, I don't think

 I could resist. Everyone would end up naked."


Lavinya strokes the malevolent whip of Ouroborian reprimand tenderly.


Alic takes Crumkane close to him and, closing his eyes, inhales deeply to

 absorb His scent.


Ellowyn blinks.

 

Crek gives pungent meat great robes to Ellowyn d'Murani.


Prelude Alic says, "Interesting mixes."

Conductor Pectus n'Lochli says, "Alic.."


Ellowyn d'Murani says, "Oh.. my... gosh."


Conductor Pectus n'Lochli says, "Alic, you don't smell Divine.”


Pectus glances askance.


l crumkane

He is a radiant immortal and is surrounded by a constantly shifting aroma, each

 saccharine scent blending perfectly into the next. Amongst the fragranced air,

 the Lord Epicurean stands proudly, His portly form poised with an unexpected

 elegance for His size. Atop His thick neck, His rotund face displays a jovial

 expression, a beaming smile prominent upon His glowing visage. Behind His

 plump cheeks, sparkling eyes of a golden honey colour gaze outward, while

 perfectly manicured eyebrows rest upon His forehead. Short caramel coloured

 hair sits atop His round head, not a strand out of place, slicked down by a

 sweetly scented gel that covers it. Taut skin covers His burly figure, tanned

 the hue of freshly baked bread, a large portion of the sizeable canvas covered

 in vividly inked tattoos that depict many of Crumkane's creations. Amongst the

 bright confections, images of sugar sprites and spice pixies flit about,

 animated as they travel across His body between the stationary pieces,

 inspecting the various culinary delights. He is wearing a conical crown of

 liquorice peaks, a pouch of tufted ebon fondant, a glittering rock candy

 pocket watch, a gummy cape of interwoven ropes, polished shoes of blackened

 jelly, sugary socks of anise-scented gum, a striped tunic of crimson and black

 confections, tapered trousers woven of candied vines, a perfectly perfumed

 vest and a pair of marshmallow-framed spectacles.


Aois-Dana Lavinya d'Murani, Chosen of Legion says, "He smells alright, really."


Lavinya sniffs Alic, trying to decipher just what that smell emanating from him

 is.


Pectus opens his mouth as if to say something, but pauses.


Aois-Dana Lavinya d'Murani, Chosen of Legion says, "But no, not exactly divine."


Pectus stares implacably at Lavinya.


Lavinya smiles blithely.


Conductor Pectus n'Lochli says to Lavinya, "This is why Ellowyn is practising


A strong wind blows through the city, carrying with it the salty scent of

 perfectly crisp bacon.


Ellowyn gives a horrified gasp.


You say, "Oh dear."


Kaalak bows respectfully to Crumkane.


Crumkane inclines His head politely to Kaalak.


Aois-Dana Lavinya d'Murani, Chosen of Legion says, "Gods save us all."

Prelude Alic says to Pectus, "Aois-Dana did it."


You say to Lavinya, "A good thing we're inside, the grease would ruin our

 pretty clothes."


Ellowyn falls to her knees and cries in happiness.


Crumkane eats a large chunk of salted bacon with obvious gusto.


Conductor Pectus n'Lochli says, "Well! I am off."


Kaalak's eyes sparkle with amusement at Crumkane.


Pectus bows respectfully to Crumkane.


Ellowyn d'Murani says, "That is the best wind I've ever had the privilege of

 smelling."


Kaalak gives Ellowyn the once-over, eyeing her suspiciously.


Ellowyn d'Murani says, "Perhaps I should make a church of bacon."


Prelude Alic says, "You could take me to church."


Ellowyn d'Murani says, "Lord Crumkane can be the patron."


Penitent Kaalak Mittani says, "The crispy cathedral."


Alic nods his head sagely.


Ellowyn grins and nods at Kaalak.


Aois-Dana Lavinya d'Murani, Chosen of Legion says to Ellowyn, "I wonder what

 Your Lady would think of this, hmm?"


The corners of your mouth turn up as you grin mischievously.


Mouth watering, Prelude Alic says, "Take me to church."


Bacon suddenly showers down from above as it fills the air with its delightful

 scent.


Crumkane, Lord of Epicurean Delights says, "Anything is possible."


Crumkane picks up a large chunk of salted bacon.


Crumkane consumes a large chunk of salted bacon leisurely, seeming to enjoy

 every bite.


Lavinya picks up a large chunk of salted bacon.


Crek picks up a large chunk of salted bacon.

21:53:52.03|100%h|98%m|104%e|10p|100%en|100%w Bexk- (psd)


"Oooooooooh!" Crek says, eyes wide with wonder.


Lavinya sniffs a large chunk of salted bacon, trying to decipher just what that

 smell emanating from it is.


Alic picks up a large chunk of salted bacon.


Ellowyn d'Murani says, "I'm... speechless."


Dasina y'Bolgari, the lady-in-waiting lifts a gloved hand and primly brushes a

 speck of dust from her gown.


Crumkane taps His nose knowingly at Ellowyn.


Lavinya licks a large chunk of salted bacon.


Ellowyn sings the praises of Crumkane.


Singing, Penitent Kaalak Mittani says, "Its raining stuff, Hallelujah, its

 raining THINGS, ummmhummmm."


Alic takes a large chunk of salted bacon close to him and, closing his eyes,

 inhales deeply to absorb its scent.


Kaalak dances around with his hands in the air.


(Black Lullaby): You say, "<_<."


(Black Lullaby): You say, "Urge...to...maze...RISING."


Ellowyn d'Murani says, "I think I'm going to have a heart attack. I'm not sure

 if it's from all the excitement, or all the bacon."


Aois-Dana Lavinya d'Murani, Chosen of Legion says, "Ugh, I can already hear you

 getting fatter, Ellowyn."


Innocently, you ask, "Why not both?"


Lavinya wipes her greasy fingers on a handkerchief.


Crumkane, Lord of Epicurean Delights says, "Do enjoy the delicious weather we

 are having today, little ones."


Crumkane inclines His head politely to those around Him.


The corners of your mouth turn up as you grin mischievously.


Crumkane, Lord of Epicurean Delights says, "Be well."


Ellowyn d'Murani says, "This is good fat, though. Not bad fat."


Smoke coils about the form of Crumkane, Lord of Epicurean Delights, cloaking

 His portly form as He disappears into the aether, His departure trailed by the

 aromatic fragrance of hearty cuisines.

Comments

  • XenthosXenthos Shadow Lord
    I'm unsure about the Avatar: The Last Airbender reference in there... it seems a little forced.
    image
  • TremulaTremula Banished Quasiroyal
    You're a little forced! (imkiddingiloveyoudon'tbreaktimeagain)
                          * * * WRACK AND ROLL AND DEATH AND PAIN * * *
                                         * * * LET'S FEEL THE FEAR OF DEATH AGAIN * * *
              * * * WE'LL KILL AND SLAUGHTER, EAT THE SLAIN * * *
      * * * IN RAVAGING WE'LL ENTERTAIN * * *

    Ixion tells you, "// I don't think anyone else had a clue, amazing form."
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