National Hit On Eritheyl Month

Eritheyl

Aiyana made a silly declaration. Madness ensued. Most of the choicest morsels are included, along with all of those from...very unexpected contributors. My sides ache.

---

Mysrai, Hermit Clad in Saffron intones, "Is that a sausage within your paradigms, or are you merely pleased to behold My visage?"

You stumble forward clumsily before throwing your hands up and screaming "Noooooooo!" melodramatically.

Mysrai's eyes gleam, stars shifting swiftly within the Void-black orbs.

Mysrai leans close to Aiyana and gently lays a kiss upon her forehead.

Reality solidifies, mending itself into a single paradigm as Mysrai departs.

Attendant Xaldrin Somnius says, "So glad I moved."

Eyes flickering with orange flames, Yomoigu, the Pyresmith says to you, "Is it hot here, or is that just you?"

Defensively raising his hands, Imus backs away from the situation slowly.

You say, "OH COME ON."

The corners of Subotai's mouth turn up as he grins mischievously.

Aiyana rolls on the floor, laughing.

Imus, The Indulgent That Wrote says, "Why is everyone hitting on my happily married Uncle?"

You exclaim to Imus, "Because Aiyana is a buttbag!"

Aiyana Mak'Reya says, "National Hit On Eritheyl Day."

Indulgent Arix says, "That was why I wasn't doing it."

Aiyana Mak'Reya whispers, "And his behind is so fine."

Attendant Xaldrin Somnius says, "His papa must've been a baker, his buns are so fine."

Impresario Subotai Ysav'rai, Seeker of Refreshments says, "I'm not even attracted to guys normally, but it's like I've got iron eyes to his magnetic rump."

You say, "Now that's not fair, I already said th--."

You stare implacably at Subotai.

Indulgent Arix says to Aiyana, "He must be wearing astral pants, because his behind is out of this world."

Subotai nods his head in agreement.

Indulgent Arix says, "Ok I'm done."

Aiyana Mak'Reya says, "I can't. I'm dying. I can't."

Tirah Mzithrei, the Soul of Fire says to Arix, "Is it also driving you insane?"

Attendant Xaldrin Somnius says to you, "Do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I could see myself in your pants."

You stare blankly into space.

Impresario Subotai Ysav'rai, Seeker of Refreshments says to you, "Did it hurt?"

You stare implacably at Subotai.

You say to Subotai, "Did what hurt."

Impresario Subotai Ysav'rai, Seeker of Refreshments says to you, "When you fell from the Havens."

Subotai winks conspiratorially at you.

Darkness envelops your sight as you feel a powerful presence trace itself along the edges of your mind, softly like a caress. A soft, sickly sweet scent tickles at your nose as a darkly seductive voice murmurs in your ear, "You must be a shard of Trillillial because nothing says fluffy like your fine behind."

You exclaim, "Who even was that?!"

Mysrai, Hermit Clad in Saffron intones, "Eritheyl, are you manifesting the paradigm of Shikari in disguise?"

You ask, "...n-no, why?"

Mysrai, Hermit Clad in Saffron intones, "Paradigms indicate that you have stolen My heart."

Aiyana bursts into a fit of giggles, ending with an abrupt and surprising snort.

Mysrai waggles His eyebrows comically.

You stare implacably about yourself.

Reality solidifies, mending itself into a single paradigm as Mysrai departs.

Attendant Xaldrin Somnius says, "This is entirely out of hand."

-

A gentle flurry of platinum white feathers drifts by on a perfumed breeze, a gentle, feminine voice whispering, "I was displeased to see you leave My Order, Eritheyl, but I confess I enjoyed watching you go."

-

A silver incandescence illuminates your mind's eye as a pale light engulfs your vision. The moonfire flares brilliantly before you as a translucent maiden manifests, her white eyes half-closed and her lips red. She opens her mouth to whisper, "There's nothing like a full moon, if you know what I mean." As the moonfire fades, you feel a lingering caress along your cheek that burns.

-

Viravain strokes a wickedly curved scythe tenderly.

Arix gives a bright green pickle-shaped cup cake to Viravain, Lady of the Thorns.

With the smallest flick of Her finger, Viravain sends Arix flying headlong into the depths of the Astral Plane.

Arix leaves to the ether.

You stare implacably at Viravain.

Viravain, Lady of the Thorns says, "Foolish mortal."

Viravain lifts a dainty hand to Her neckline, glancing about with uncertain disdain.

You whimper like a wounded puppy.

Viravain, Lady of the Thorns says, "Do you truly believe I came here to inflate your ego?"

Viravain, Lady of the Thorns says, "To lavish prayers upon you like My foolish Cousins?"

Viravain wrinkles Her nose and sniffs.

Viravain, Lady of the Thorns says, "I have merely come to inform you that I seek to stroke you."

Viravain strokes a wickedly curved scythe tenderly.

Viravain, Lady of the Thorns says, "Like My scythe."

Viravain glances about, staring coldly.

Coiling sinuously about Her petite frame, stygian shadows cloak Viravain in an unnatural darkness and evanesce into the aether, leaving behind only the faintest scent of roses.

You stare blankly into space.

-

A scrappy lizard eyes you suspiciously before it begins to lick your boots.

You blink.

You ask, "The Nil?"

Deciding that your boots are clean enough, a scrappy lizard scampers off from whence it came.

After a moments pause, a scrappy lizard returns briefly to wink at you and blow a kiss before scampering off once more.

-

The heady scent of aromatic cuisines saturates the air, accompanied by the portly form of Crumkane, Lord of Epicurean Delights, who arrives amidst wisps of fragranced smoke.

You cast a pleading look at Crumkane, flailing about helplessly.

Thrusting his fist defiantly into the air, Subotai turns to Crumkane and shouts "Power to the Pastries!"

Crumkane gives you the once-over, eyeing you suspiciously.

Tirah hides a grin behind her hand.

You have emoted: Eritheyl pinches his eyes tightly shut, holding firm for but a moment before he cautiously peeks one open.

Crumkane, Lord of Epicurean Delights says to you, "Why do you flinch little one?"

A single flake of snow swirls in from above and drops down limply to the ground below. As it lands, it almost immediately begins to melt against the heat of the Eternal Flame.

Subotai tilts his head back and looks up at the sky.

You blink.

Tirah blinks perplexedly for a moment before emitting a confused "Wha?"

From the growing puddle, the faint outline of Calythan, the Morning Frost manifests.

Subotai bows respectfully to Calythan.

Tirah bows respectfully to Calythan.

You squint suspiciously at Calythan.

His voice a thousand shifting branches, Calythan, the Morning Frost says to you, "You are a lovely little flower, aren't you?"

Calythan flutters his eyelashes at you.

The crisp frost that hangs in the air subsides as Calythan, the Morning Frost, evaporates into the ether.

You stare blankly into space.

Crumkane, Lord of Epicurean Delights says to you, "You must be intrinsically good, because the sight of you brings Me much pleasure."

You say, "NOOOOOO."

Crumkane winks knowingly.

Xaldrin thrusts his palm towards his forehead and hits it with a resounding *smack*!

Smoke coils about the form of Crumkane, Lord of Epicurean Delights, cloaking His portly form as He disappears into the aether, His departure trailed by the aromatic fragrance of hearty cuisines.

-

A single spore drifts in from the west and lands upon your shoulder.

You wrinkle your nose and sniff.

A burst of spores fills the room, carrying with it Ailae, the Mellow, who steps out from amidst the dancing conidia.

"Oh?" Subotai exclaims quizzically.

He is a radiant immortal and he stands amidst a cloud of spores, the conidia dancing about him upon eddies of air. Eyes the colour of bark and honey hued skin hide behind the moustache that grows atop his lip, the mossy hair draping over his stout form as it falls towards his tiny feet. Short limbs poke out from amongst the locks that grow from around his mouth, the strands rustling as he moves his arms about. He is wearing a mushroom cap bursting with spores, a shroud of moss and debris and a cloud of rainbow-hued spores.

Silvanos stares blankly into space.

Ailae, the Mellow says, "Now, where did it get off to now?"

Tirah bows respectfully to Ailae.

Ailae, the Mellow says, "Has anyone seen my spore?"

Aiyana Mak'Reya says, "Spore?"

You have emoted: Eritheyl peers at his shoulder, suspiciously and almost threateningly as he regards the little spore perched there.

Ailae, the Mellow says, "It is the last if my little spores. The most picky one of all."

Ailae, the Mellow says to you, "Oh, it seems it has finally found a place it deemed worthy of growth."

Ailae, the Mellow says to you, "And I can see why."

Ailae whistles appreciatively.

Aiyana gives a trillingly melodic laugh.

You exclaim, "WHO EVEN ARE YOU?!"

Tirah hides a grin behind her hand.

Subotai utters a deep, rumbling laugh.

Rajakumari Silvanos Lunarose, Herbal Connoisseur says to you, "You is causing peoples to appear from the woodwork..."

A cloud of spores rises from Ailae, the Mellow, who steps into the dancing conidia, both disappearing upon a gentle breeze.

"Heh heh heh" Silvanos chuckles.

Aiyana Mak'Reya says, "This one is cute, though. Wouldn't mind if He stuck aro-- and He's gone."

-

Chade winks conspiratorially at you.

Chade playfully pinches you on the behind.

Chade grows still and his lips begin to move silently.

You stare implacably at Chade.

Subotai utters a deep, rumbling laugh.

You say, "I hate you in your guts, Chade."

Icy fingers brush against your cheek as soft voices murmur in your ear.

You say, "Oohhh...but who's this, now..."

Subotai bows respectfully to Nocht.

Aiyana blinks.

You exclaim, "What?! No, nevermind!"

Silvanos pats you in a friendly manner.

Nocht, the Silent stares down at you a moment, His face impassive before turning to leave.

Tirah bows respectfully to Nocht.

The surrounding shadows wane, falling back in despondent melancholy as the form of Nocht, the Silent dissolves into wisps of shadow.

-

A passing bird lands on your shoulder and pecks, lovingly but painfully, at your neck. It flies away, but pauses several times to stare longingly back at you.

You frown and say, "Ow, hey."

[random bird belongs to?]

-

Mesadari Rhiero, Keeper of the Eternal Flame exclaims, "Come on baby, light my fire!"

You exclaim to Mesadari Rhiero, Keeper of the Eternal Flame, "I will not!"

Grand Empress of Shinies, Shulamit Lunarose, Creator of Shiny Things says, "Awwwwh."

Mesadari Rhiero, Keeper of the Eternal Flame waggles her eyebrows suggestively at you.

Impresario Subotai Ysav'rai, Seeker of Refreshments says, "Lords know he lights mine."

Subotai fans himself with his hand, trying to keep cool.

-

You glance askance at a jade-armoured Wyvern Rider.

A jade-armoured Wyvern Rider bows his head and mumbles softly, before looking up sharply.

A jade-armoured Wyvern Rider says, "I'd guard THAT citizen."

A jade-armoured Wyvern Rider leers lasciviously at you.

-

Grand Empress of Shinies, Shulamit Lunarose, Creator of Shiny Things says to you, "Uhm...you are...sweet...and stuff in a sweet...nephew in law like way..."

Shulamit scratches her head in confusion.

-

The Effervescent Keg of Gullagumbah twaddles in from the east in a cloud of alcoholic bubbles.

Xaldrin blinks.

Xaldrin stares blankly at the Effervescent Keg of Gullagumbah.

Shulamit hugs the Effervescent Keg of Gullagumbah compassionately.

Subotai gives the Effervescent Keg of Gullagumbah the once-over, eyeing him suspiciously.

You say, "Kegger!"

Subotai hops about the area madly.

Grand Empress of Shinies, Shulamit Lunarose, Creator of Shiny Things says, "He has the cutest little bootsies!"

Glancing towards Eritheyl, the Effervescent Keg of Gullagumbah says, "I'd wear My boots for you any day."

Subotai rubs his hands together and gleefully shouts, "Hee!"

Opening your mouth wide, you gape in wonder.

The keg teeters off once more, trailing bubbles.

-

Reality shifts, the sky tinging into whispering veils of changing paradigms as the weirdly-echoing voice of Mysrai intones, "Eritheyl Rhyseni has been declared the recipient of National Hit on Eritheyl Month within the City of Revolutions. The most entertaining jest shall gain My truest favour."

Subotai throws his hands into the air and gives a loud, "WOO!"

You shout, "NOOOOO."

Veils flicker across the sky, heralding a cry of utmost relief. In the aftermath, the whispering skeins fade slowly from existence, leaving the sky stained scarlet and copper in their wake.

For a moment, the Void yawns beneath you as you hang suspended within the Lord-and-Lady's will. Agony wracks your body as you briefly sense wrath, regret, and a creeping, empty chill. In the next, the sensation fades, leaving only an unsettling weakness and a lingering sense of disapproval.

Making no sudden movements, Aiyana backs away from you slowly.

Emerging from the shadows, Ilistala, an enormous leopard deposits a silver jeweler's hammer in your hands before disappearing as silently as she appeared.

You tell Spirit Warden Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist, "What is...this for?"

Xenthos tells you, "For hitting, of course."

Xenthos tells you, "How else does one hit on something?"

You see Aiyana Mak'Reya shout, "Hey. Hey. Eritheyl. Hey hey, Eri. I must be part Shard of Xyl and not even know it, because I seem to be budding within my plate at the sight of you."

-

Edit: Lizards. Also this is in the wrong place, oops.

Edit 2: It never stops.

Edit 513794: Still going.

Edit 9999999e99: Are we not out of active gods and ephemerals yet?

Eritheyl

Thank you for the move, mysterious entity!

Also, @Nocht:

(Ryseni Clothiers): Aiyana says, "I'll never be able to imagine him as anything but that kid from Hey Arnold now."

Subotai

Aiyana Mak'Reya says to Eritheyl, "Hey, baby. Your behind is fine."

Eritheyl blinks incredulously at Aiyana.

You say to Eritheyl, "Pardon me, but was your daddy a meat burglar? Because it looks like he stole
two fine-ass hams, and stuck them down the back of your pants."

Sybaritic Eritheyl Ryseni, of Sugar and Spice says to you, "WHAT."

Silvanos looks about in confusion.

Rajakumari Silvanos Lunarose, Herbal Connoisseur says, "Wit."

Rajakumari Silvanos Lunarose, Herbal Connoisseur says, "Wut, what?"

Eritheyl stares blankly into space.

Attendant Xaldrin Somnius says, "What."

Aiyana Mak'Reya says to you, "I..."

You say, "Do I win?"

Aiyana Mak'Reya says to you, "I... I..."

Aiyana kneels before you and touches her head to the ground in worship.

Aiyana Mak'Reya says, "Teach me how to flirt, sir."

You incline your head politely to Aiyana.

You say, "You must be one with the Flirt."

You say to Eritheyl, "Pardon me, but is your daddy a magician? Because AbracaDAYUM."

Sybaritic Eritheyl Ryseni, of Sugar and Spice says to you, "NO STOP."

Sybaritic Eritheyl Ryseni, of Sugar and Spice gasps for air.

Aiyana Mak'Reya says, "KEEP GOING."

Aiyana Mak'Reya says, "DON'T LET HIM LIE TO YOU, HE LIKES THE ATTENTION."

You say to Eritheyl, "Pardon me, but was your daddy a druid? Because you're giving me a totem pole
in my robes."

Sybaritic Eritheyl Ryseni, of Sugar and Spice says, "SUBOTAI."

Tirah hums innocently to herself.

Attendant Xaldrin Somnius says, "Wow."

You rub your hands together and gleefully shout, "Hee!"

Silvanos stares blankly into space.

Aiyana Mak'Reya says to you, "If I weren't already married."

You utter a deep, rumbling laugh.

You say to Eritheyl, "Sorry, your joke to the Lord Epicurean set me off."

Aiyana Mak'Reya says to Eritheyl, "Hey there honey, want to go get baked and hot? You can be the pan,
 and I'll be the gingerbread man."

Sybaritic Eritheyl Ryseni, of Sugar and Spice whines, "That doesn't even make seeeense!"

Eritheyl wails like an old woman.

You say to Eritheyl, "Pardon me, but was your daddy an Aeromancer? Because you're Electrifying."

Flatly, Sybaritic Eritheyl Ryseni, of Sugar and Spice says, "Oh that was poor."

You say to Eritheyl, "Pardon me, but was your daddy the Sun? You're making me melt."

Sybaritic Eritheyl Ryseni, of Sugar and Spice says, "This is going better than expected."

Attendant Xaldrin Somnius says to Eritheyl, "If a fat dwarf puts you in a bag at night, don't worry

Tirah Mzithrei, the Soul of Fire says to Eritheyl, "You know where your suit would look good? Laying
on the floor of my manse."

You say to Eritheyl, "Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

Sybaritic Eritheyl Ryseni, of Sugar and Spice says, "No more!"

Attendant Xaldrin Somnius says to Eritheyl, "You're so beautiful, you made me forget my pickup line.
"

You say to Eritheyl, "Snuggle me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?"

Sybaritic Eritheyl Ryseni, of Sugar and Spice pointedly says nothing at all.

Attendant Xaldrin Somnius says to Eritheyl, "Know what's on the menu? Me-n-u."

A single tear drops from Eritheyl's eye as he stops his own heart, slaying himself instantly.
Eritheyl has been slain by misadventure.
Having been too much for the mortal threads of Eritheyl, he screams in agony as flames engulf his
body and burn it to a crisp.

The soul of Eritheyl Ryseni says, "Nope nope nope nope nope."

A panoply of swirling, multicoloured lights lance in from the up, slowing suddenly before congealing
into Eritheyl.

Attendant Xaldrin Somnius says to Eritheyl, "I think it's time to tell you what people say behind
your back."

With a wink, Attendant Xaldrin Somnius says to Eritheyl, "Nice ass."

Eritheyl stares blankly into space.

You say to Eritheyl, "Are you a library book? Because I've been checking you out all day long."

Subotai

Reality shifts, the sky tinging into whispering veils of changing paradigms as the weirdly-echoing
voice of Mysrai intones, "Eritheyl Rhyseni has been declared the recipient of National Hit on
Eritheyl Month within the City of Revolutions. The most entertaining jest shall gain My truest
favour."

You shout, "I'm not saying you're hot, Eritheyl, but I'd sure like to shove my fleshwad in your
Cluuvia."

Mysrai, Hermit Clad in Saffron has bestowed His divine truefavour upon you.
 
You see Grand Empress of Shinies, Shulamit Lunarose, Creator of Shiny Things shout, "You could frost
my cup cakes anyday, Eritheyl."

Whelp Varak shouts, "Eritheyl, were you unwed I would take you in a manly fashion."

(Clan): You say, "Someone favour the shit out of Varak for the Firefly reference."

You see Tirah Mzithrei, the Soul of Fire shout, "You are like an erupting volcano Eritheyl, wild,
hot and making everyone you touch melt."

Aspirant Kili shouts, "Are you part furrikin, Eritheyl? Cause you've got me feeling te hear!"

Veils flicker across the sky, heralding a cry of utmost relief. In the aftermath, the whispering
skeins fade slowly from existence, leaving the sky stained scarlet and copper in their wake.

Reality shifts, the sky tinging into whispering veils of changing paradigms as the weirdly-echoing
voice of Mysrai intones, "Not well done."

Aiyana rolls on the floor, laughing.

You see Ember Portia, the Little Morsel Who Could shout, "Eritheyl Will you be my love buffet so I
can lay you out on a table and take anything I want?"

You see Attendant Xaldrin Somnius shout, "Eritheyl, you'll have to show me the way to Crumkane's
bakery so I can pick up a Cutiepie like you!"

Aiyana

Reality shifts, the sky tinging into whispering veils of changing paradigms as the weirdly-echoing voice of Mysrai intones, "Eritheyl Rhyseni has been declared the recipient of National Hit on Eritheyl Month within the City of Revolutions. The most entertaining jest shall gain My truest favour."

You shout, "Hey. Hey. Eritheyl. Hey hey, Eri. I must be part Shard of Xyl and not even know it, because I seem to be budding within my plate at the sight of you."

Reality shifts, the sky tinging into whispering veils of changing paradigms as the weirdly-echoing voice of Mysrai intones, "Well done! Who shall contend next?"

Impresario Subotai Ysav'rai, Seeker of Refreshments shouts, "I'm not saying you're hot, Eritheyl, but I'd sure like to shove my fleshwad in your Cluuvia."

You see Grand Empress of Shinies, Shulamit Lunarose, Creator of Shiny Things shout, "You could frost my cup cakes anyday, Eritheyl."

Whelp Varak shouts, "Eritheyl, were you unwed I would take you in a manly fashion."

You see Tirah Mzithrei, the Soul of Fire shout, "You are like an erupting volcano Eritheyl, wild, hot and making everyone you touch melt."

Persayis Damascene says to Eritheyl, "I'm trying to quit smoking, want to give me a new oral fixation?"

Aspirant Kili shouts, "Are you part furrikin, Eritheyl? Cause you've got me feeling te hear!"

Reality shifts, the sky tinging into whispering veils of changing paradigms as the weirdly-echoing voice of Mysrai intones, "Not well done."

You see Ember Portia, the Little Morsel Who Could shout, "Eritheyl Will you be my love buffet so I can lay you out on a table and take anything I want?"

You see Attendant Xaldrin Somnius shout, "Eritheyl, you'll have to show me the way to Crumkane's bakery so I can pick up a Cutiepie like you!"

Aspirant Kili shouts, "Hey baby, I hate to rain on your parade, but you're gonna get 8 to 10 inches tonight."

Veils flicker across the sky, heralding a cry of utmost relief. In the aftermath, the whispering skeins fade slowly from existence, leaving the sky stained scarlet and copper in their wake.

Reality shifts, the sky tinging into whispering veils of changing paradigms as the weirdly-echoing voice of Mysrai intones, "Insufficiently subtle."

Reality shifts, the sky tinging into whispering veils of changing paradigms as the weirdly-echoing voice of Mysrai intones, "We grow bored with this. Manifest new paradigms of amusement."

Eritheyl

A flame-tongued savage in lustrous steel gives you the once-over, eyeing you suspiciously.

You stare implacably at Karlach.

A flame-tongued savage in lustrous steel ponders the situation.

Karlach gives the decapitated head of Derith to you.

Attendant Xaldrin Somnius says, "Aw."

A flame-tongued savage in lustrous steel says to you, "I believe that is the custom for people enamoured with each other."

Aiyana gives a trillingly melodic laugh.

You open your mouth but say nothing.

Attendant Xaldrin Somnius says to you, "Best yet."

A flame-tongued savage in lustrous steel says, "I never really understood it."

A flame-tongued savage in lustrous steel nods its head emphatically.

Daraius

@Isune and @Nocht for the win, imho. 

Parua

if memory serves, that bird belongs to Lisaera

Portia

I sooo had the win with the buffet line

Eritheyl

Parua said:

if memory serves, that bird belongs to Lisaera

I thought it might also be one of Hoaracle's little beard ruffians, I'm baffled!

Siam

)


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