Tark and Haezon, the two man comedic troupe

Tarkenton

Posted at @Haezon's request.

---Tark enters the room---

Haezon The Black says, "Oh yay I needed some annoying Shadowdancer in my life."

Haezon gives you a pained sigh.

You raise an eyebrow at Haezon.

You say, "Annoying?"

The corners of Haezon's mouth turn up as he grins mischievously.

You stick out your tongue and say to Haezon, "See if I talk at you anymore."

Haezon The Black says, "I shall now dance with joy."

Haezon The Black says, "I may even do a twirl later. When no one is watching."

Haezon subjects you to a merciless teasing.

Finger extended, Haezon pokes Orphine.

Haezon The Black says, "So, maybe you can help Tarkenton."

Haezon The Black says, "You're a tae'dae."

Haezon The Black says, "She is a tae'dae."

Haezon The Black says, "She needs help describing herself."

Haezon The Black says, "Be useful."

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd says, "All of your suggestions are great, but maybe my description is not the place to be intimidating."

You ponder Orphine thoughtfully, looking her up and down.

With a slight shudder, you say to Orphine, "I can only imagine what things this rube has been filling your mind with."

Haezon The Black says, "It's called genius."

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd says, "Oh, so we do come in red....go figure. I'd reccomend a bit more description of your build, though. And none of his suggestions are really clicking with me."

Voice dry, you say to Haezon, "Yes...in some circles. Usually ones that involve...what was it...whatever it is all those dracnari smoked in the meditation chambers."

Haezon shifts his eyes suspiciously from side to side.

Haezon The Black says to Orphine, "But at least now you know what you don't want."

You chuckle long and heartily.

You smile and say to Orphine, "I'll keep your suggestion in mind."

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd says, "At this rate, I will never think of a descrpiton."

Haezon The Black says, "That's my excuse, what's yours?"

Haezon The Black says, "I;m not running at full strength mentally, so apologies for that."

You say, "Me? I'm merely an around mental corners speaking Shadowdancer. If it isn't cryptic, it's 'cause you're not sufficiently blessed with intellect to understand my crypticness."

You grin mischievously at Haezon.

Haezon The Black says, "How about striped fur?"

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd frowns and taps her left foot, "maybe I can please myself with being intimidating and please the rest of glomdoring with beauty after all. I just have to somehow decorate my body with permanent ink dye decrying eternal hatred of Haezon all over every square inch of my body."

Haezon The Black says, "Spite is a good motivator."

You say to Haezon, "Know what I've never understood? Tattoos on aslari, tae'dae and the like."

You say to Orphine, "If you had your druthers, what would you look like?"

You say to Orphine, "One doesn't have to be blatantly intimidating, fierce looking or the like. Subtlety does have its place as well, after all."

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd says to you, "Thing is, I'm already supposed to dislike most people from outside the commune. But with the kind of suggestions I've been hearing, I fear I will dislike half the people inside of it as well. And what are druthers?"

You say to Orphine, "The power or opportunity to choose."

Haezon The Black says, "She's good. I don't know whether to laugh with her or fear her."

Haezon The Black says, "She'll fit right in."

A more feral smile on his face, you say to Orphine, "And perish the thought of not liking people outside the commune. What are people who are from without Glomdoring, if not ones that need to be shown the glory of the Wyrd and seduced, browbeaten or just otherwise beaten into accepting Wyrd into themselves?"

Haezon The Black says, "I seduced an entire monastery of female priestesses once."

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd says, "Now, if someone from another city respected my way of doing things, that would be different. But that would be unlikely."

Orphine waggles her eyebrows suggestively at Haezon.

Haezon The Black says, "It was some good times."

Haezon The Black says to you, "Marani, of course, was too frigid."

You say to Haezon, "The blind ones? Mostly centuries old at the least?"

Haezon The Black says, "The young immortal never-aging ones."

You say, "Ah, but still blind."

You nod your head sagely.

Haezon The Black says, "After going through me, yes."

You ponder Haezon thoughtfully, looking him up and down.

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd says to you, "If I had my druthers, I would look like a nightmare...or a seemingly shiny perfect person, if looking scary is too common around here."

You say to Haezon, "I shudder to think of what they experienced."

Haezon The Black says, "I suggested that, although I didn't call it druthers."

Haezon The Black says, "Well that could work. you could use the shadows in some way to make your skin smooth, unscarred."

You say, "It's such a fun word though, druthers."

You chuckle long and heartily.

Haezon The Black says, "I think you made it up."

You say, "The fact that your education didn't include a mastery of the common tongue and the nuances that make it wieldable doesn't mean that mine didn't."

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd says, "Its too silly for him to have made it up."

Orphine smirks.

Finger extended, Haezon pokes Septim.

Haezon The Black says, "Do you have a moment Septim?"

Septim peers at Haezon unscrupulously.

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "I have many, do you wish to have one?"

Haezon The Black says, "Please. We're trying to help Orphine describe herself."

You say to Septim, "I'm sure he'll wish a quartet, at the least."

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "I am aware."

Haezon tells you, "I'll soon get a paper fan to hit you with when you be silly."

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says to Orphine, "Now, what is your current issue?"

You tell Haezon The Black, "And I shall undoubtedly have to retaliate with...I don't know. Something involving a bucket, three trill manservants hired from a lucidian in Hallifax, and two gravedigger queens."

Haezon tells you, "Typical, having to outsource."

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd says, "I sent him a tell. Right now? How do look intimidating to potential enemies without losing patience at haezon's over-the-top ideas."

You tell Haezon The Black, "No reason to engage in manual labor when you have the means to not have to lift a few tons of sand."

You chuckle long and heartily.

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "Why not just ignore his outrageous ideas and style yourself in the way you wish to look?"

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "Surely he isn't that hard to ignore."

Haezon The Black says, "Madness. Actually he's got a point."

You say to Haezon, "I don't know...you can be persistent."

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies smiles impishly and says, "See, he agrees that his own presence is negligible."

Haezon The Black says, "It gets the job done."

Haezon The Black says, "I didn't come here to be insulted."

Septim utters a deep, rumbling laugh.

You say, "It helps to imagine him as a small bite me, or sand flea or the like."

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "Aye, I came here to insult you."

An impish grin creeps over Septim's face as his eyes light up with mischief.

Drolly, you say to Haezon, "Well, where do you usually go then?"

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "You came here to present outrageous ideas to our dear friend Orphine."

Haezon The Black says, "I'm a bard. I'm meant to be outrageous."

Haezon The Black moves a pebble with his foot.

Haezon The Black says, "See, look. Outrage."

Septim smirks.

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd says, "Because being outraged at him is giving me ideas for styles."

Haezon The Black says, "I repeat: if it works, it works."

You say, "Well, burning eyes does seem to be in vogue, that I've noticed."

Haezon The Black says, "They APPEAR to be burning like marshfire."

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says to Orphine, "Anyhow, in all seriousness, just figure out how YOU want to look, and then present it to others to check for errors and not critiques."

Haezon nods his head emphatically.

Haezon The Black says, "Yes."

Haezon The Black says, "I think she wanted to know what would be inappropriate too."

You say, "Though, there is something truly terrifying about one that looks perfectly innocent, just until the moment your guts are on the ground and their sword is flying at your neck."

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "If it's inappropriate you can fix that after you have something made up."

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "But currently you're just ursine."

Haezon The Black says, "Or someone who looks like a suave sophisticated individual and then you find out he just talks a lot. It can throw a lot of people off."

Haezon points accusingly at himself.

You chuckle long and heartily.

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies asks Haezon, "You were referring to me?"

You say to Haezon, "Suave?"

Haezon The Black says, "I don't have to hear that from a man in a dress."

You say to Septim, "It isn't the exact adjective I'd use for him, I have to admit."

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd says, "Unfortunately, all of them involve somehow shaving my fur into jagged letters and dying them with woad announcing my hatred of Haezon on some par of my body."

"Pssshhhh..." you say.

You say to Haezon, "You -wish- you could look as good as I do in this."

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "You can get a tattooist to do that for you some other 

time."

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd gives Tarkenton the thumbs up for his short but interesting descpription.

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "I still don't understand how exactly I am to help here. You seem to have ample help already."

You say to Orphine, "Admittedly, I was far more handsome when I was a human."

Haezon The Black says, "I think i got a bit carried away with a routine or some other. i genuinely did try to help her, but it seems to have just made things worse."

Haezon gives a pained sigh.

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "Shame, I doubt I'd give up being handsome to be burly. Glad I didn't have to choose."

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd says to Septim, "But I need someone with common sense in the room. These two are somewhat lacking it it, and right now, I might end up looking realy boring because I can't make up my mind with these two giving me opposite ideas all the time."

You say, "What can I say? Kind of hard to be man pretty when you're essentially an upright bear."

Haezon The Black says, "I'm a bard! I can't be boring."

You raise an eyebrow at Orphine.

Haezon The Black says, "But ok, go with grey fur, black eyes."

You say to Orphine, "My honest opinion? Describe yourself as something first. Then ask for suggestions."

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "I am not in the business of describing people for them, so come up with something, then you can be helped."

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd says to you, "Yes, and I already told him I don't want to be black...and I'm not so hot on grey, either."

Haezon The Black says, "Purple?"

You say to Orphine, "White? Brown? Puce?"

Haezon The Black says, "How about rainbow."

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "So, brown, white, amber, ochre, sable, calico."

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd frowns and says, "Septim I am trying, but there are too many suggestions flying around."

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd says, "But bears don't come in calico."

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "Bears with furrikin ancestry do."

You say, "Spots, stripes and the like if there's a bit of aslari in you."

Septim nods his head in agreement.

Haezon The Black says, "Ah yes, half-breeds."

Haezon The Black says, "Unfortunately."

Tarkenton

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "Or part-breeds."

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "Not even half, just a fraction."

Haezon The Black says, "You can only be halfbreed with humans, faelings or viscanti."

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "A great grandmother or uncle."

You say to Haezon, "More like one fifty-seventh breeds."

Haezon The Black says, "Only those three races."

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "Since when?"

Orphine nods her head emphatically.

Haezon The Black says, "Because they're the ones who weren't sharded from a god."

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "So..."

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "This would make my children between my ex and I quite difficult to explain...."

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd says, "Some are adopted, I'm sure."

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "Some, but not all."

Orphine strikes a pose.

Haezon The Black says, "Isomething like, you can't have half-merians half krokani. but you can have half/human/half aslaran and tae'dae parents."

Orphine creases her brow in a frown.

Haezon The Black says, "See, look at the help file for humans."

You shrug helplessly.

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "Humans are specifically mentioned to be able to, but not mentioned as the only ones."

You laughingly say, "I say, look how you like and sort the details of your lineage out when the time suits you."

Septim nods his head at you.

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "Tark over there is right."

Orphine nods her head at you.

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd says, "Yes, that is right."

You smile and say, "I first stumbled from the portal a human. And found out that my soul was a bit fuzzy later, when my parents approached me."

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd says, "But what does my linage have to do with anything at the moment?"

Orphine scratches her head in confusion.

You say, "Nothing? Everything?"

You chuckle long and heartily.

Haezon The Black says, "You can half faeling parents and be born an igasho."

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "Duh."

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "I am and was."

Haezon The Black says, "So not really important."

Haezon The Black says, "I try not ot think about the mechanics of such an act."

You say, "In all honesty, if you want any real advice. Eyes, fur color, general build, facial features, and anything else that's distinguishing about you are all that matters. Worry about what you look like now, and worry about the implications later."

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "I was a small-ish baby."

Haezon The Black says, "Yes. Focus on your hands too, and legs. Make us be able to imagine your body easily. Thin, tall, fat, muscular."

Haezon The Black says, "More is good."

Septim shrugs helplessly.

With a grin, you say to Haezon, "Except when it's too much."

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "Anyhow, I'm gonna go hunt."

You wave goodbye at Septim.

Haezon The Black says, "Thanks your for you time."

Haezon doffs an austere black top hat cordially.

Septim doffs an ebon helm of blackened steel cordially.

Haezon The Black says, "There is no such thing as too much."

Septim Nightshade, Watcher of Flies says, "When you've come up with something, tell me."

Septim leaves to the up.

Arching an eyebrow, you say to Haezon, "Really now?"

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd says, "Yes, but if you imagine something that makes you fall down laughing? And there is, because I don't want to describe for hours."

You say to Haezon, "How did your puppet show go?"

Haezon The Black says, "Sorry what?"

Haezon The Black says, "I'm sort of drifting now."

Haezon The Black says, "Oh, it's er. I don't know."

You say, "Your shadow puppets? That eat you or something? I was wondering if you had performed it yet."

Haezon The Black says, "I have to write the damn thing first."

Haezon The Black says, "It's not that easy."

You utter a deep, rumbling laugh.

You say, "It sounded as if it were all but written."

You say, "Or all but performed."

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd says, "I almost want to describe myself as plainly as I can, and then let my actions speak louder than my words by growing rediculously strong an wiping the floor with you both in the arena."

Orphine gives a pained sigh.

You grin mischievously at Orphine.

You say to Orphine, "You'd be welcome to try."

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd says, "But that would prove nothing to you two."

You say to Orphine, "It would prove you a hulking brute, merely by reputation at that point, would it not?"

Haezon The Black says, "I'm a terrible fighter."

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd says to you, "I bet you are not bad."

Haezon The Black says, "When i interact babies, they steal my candy."

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd says to Haezon, "All the better then."

Orphine smirks.

You smile broadly and say to Orphine, "I'm, admittedly, at a disadvantage at the moment to 

practically anyone. But I hope to bring that to an end in a few months."

Orphine puts her hands on her hips and says "Huh?"

You say to Orphine, "The shadows don't quite dance for me at the moment."

You smile and say, "It's a wee bit difficult to effectively fight when they comprise the whole of my offense."

Haezon The Black says, "She doesn't need to know about that."

Haezon The Black says, "Don' overload the poor girl."

You nod your head at Haezon, showing your acceptance.

You say, "Hence why I'll simply leave it at that."

Haezon The Black says, "Said the bard covered in chalk."

You say, "I imagine that's so that anyone who wishes to investigate your death will have an easy time finding where your body lies."

Haezon The Black says, "If you want to be plain, be plain, but I think you should take this chance to have a bit of fun, really go all out, and well, people will respond to you better."

Orphine nods her head at you.

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd says, "I vaugely understand, which is enough."

Wyrm Orphine, Ward of the Wyrd says, "The problem is, I feel I could not be possibly murderous, skilled and horrific enough to impress either of you."

You shake your head.

You say, "I'm easily impressed."

You say to Orphine, "For instance, that one over there is actually quite crafty."

You point accusingly at Haezon.

Haezon The Black says, "Stop it, I'm blushing."

You say to Haezon, "No you're not."

You say to Haezon, "That's the chalk."

Haezon The Black says, "And this one got slapped by Mother Night and still goes back for more. He's a true devout."

Haezon points accusingly at you.

You nod your head at Haezon, showing your acceptance.

Haezon The Black says, "Although it was your fault that happened."

"Tsk, tsk," Haezon says to you as he waggles a finger at you.

You say, "True enough, true enough."

Haezon The Black says to Orphine, "He went into Mother Night's temple and cursed her. Real smart move.

Haezon The Black says, "Right, that's enough tomfoolery. Orphine, how about you show us your katana design."

You smile and say to Haezon, "I thought she didn't need to know about that?"

Haezon The Black says, "Sometimes when talking about something else it helps you to think clearly about the first subject."

You smile and say, "Oh, and speaking of vague understandings. I need to run and check something. So...I leave you in Haezon's...hand-like appendages."

--POOF--

Haezon

This was longer than I remembered. This is the last time I stay up all night playing Lusternia.

Zouviqil

Haezon said:

This was longer than I remembered. This is the last time I stay up all night playing Lusternia.

Said every Lusternian ever.